i think my man is cheating?

Question

ok i think he is cheating or working on it what do you all think i should do. i have searched his things and found nothing that i know of or should i leave it alone or should i set him up to find out? i feel he is cheating cause he takes two to three showers a day when i meet him he was doing good to take one a day he never worried about his clothes now he stresses if they are clean and today he took an extra shirt with him so he didnt get the one he was wearing dirty he is totally changing his apperance differant clothes style and wants a mohawck he is also 29 so that midlife crisis crap could be on him too i have asked him about all of this and he says he just wants to look good for me but i just keep getting the feeling that he is working on something for someone else aaaagggg i hate this goddamn feeling

Answer 1

I think you are paranoid. Until you have some kind of solid evidence you are just looking to far into it. Besides what if you set him up and find out that he isn't cheating. He's gonna be pissed when he finds out. Do you really want to risk it for a hunch. You need to talk to him about it. Just come out and talk about it.

Answer 2

I am in the same boat but lets talk about you. First off don't think he is lying he might just be telling the truth. Try this say that you have something to do one night and watch the house or surprise him by showing up to his house. Try to catch him in the act without making it so often. Or start stressing about your clothes and change your hair and see what he says. If you asks you say you just want to impress him and see what is response is from there. If he accuses you then most like he is doing somthing behind your back. Things like this are never easy and just take them one step at a time. Jamie

Answer 3

He's either cheating or interested, but 29 is a little young for a mid-life crisis. Male biology is funny - some have the need for exploration, or that panicky feeling to spread their seed and prove their masculinity.

Rather than confont him with what for now is just a suspicion, turn up the heat, and heat up the sex! Do extra little things for him now ... if he starts acting sheepish and overly-apologetic you'll know that your suspicions have merit. Only you know how it will play out from there.

Most importantly, don't allow this to destroy your self-esteem ... this is probably not your fault.

Answer 4

Nagging him won't help because he'll get bugged and leave you. If you feel unsure about the relationship then break it off. Trust you gut feeling! What's the point of being in a relationship if you can't trust him and this feeling keeps nagging you? Setting him up won't always work. He may reject the set up but go for someone you don't know about. Just follow your heart. Do you trust him? Are you secure enough with yourself to just take things day by day or are you secure enough with yourself that you don't need him? Good luck!

Answer 5

I think if your man is going to leave you nothing you do would make a difference simply because if he's gonna cheat he's gonna cheat regardless, so setting him up to find out if he's cheating would make him leave faster if he finds out you set him up. He sounds as if he is just taking intrest in himself, you should be glad he's a clean man, and taking care of his appearence, or is your worry that now he has cleaned up his act other woman will find him more desireable, exactly what you said this whole thing is your feeling.

Answer 6

Here's the perspective of another 29 yr old man. For myself I found that my Care free fun years could only be extended as far as about 23- 25 Then I needed to get my act together. Of course at that time I thought it meant getting married and settling down. That didn't work out so well for me but it was not infidelity. it was cabin fever. I wanted to get out and have fun, I wanted to get buck wild again, and so as i got older I hit a phase where I dyed my hair fire engine red, started wearing cargo pants again and tees with slogans like Caution High Testosterone.

This is not a mid life crisis, But did you really believe men only have ONE of them. Men have trouble with aging as much as women do, perhaps even more so. For me I'm starting to notice changes to my face, hands. Pain in my lower back and knees, and my hair line isn't where it used to be. All of this stresses me out. So I make up for these changes with added hygene and dressing better.

I have also begun taking care of my apartment, Vacuming regularly, picking up after myself, etc. Away are going the neon open signs, and the beer can art. and in are coming the still life oil paintings, and paisley sofa pillows. It's a transition from teen to adult.... It's unfortunate that it takes 10 years to acomplish but for men it sort of does. (I think he's trying to find himself like I did, and soon will settle onto a more normal routine)

I don't think he's cheating. I never did. But then again not every guy is like me.

Answer 7

Kiatri don't even sweat it. Some guys start to change as they head deep into a relationship. it's a phase they go through (every guy). The most i could say is give or show him something that his *** will never forget. Do something extreme that'll get him thinking twice about cheating. It'll work, my bestfriend when through a similar situation.

Good luck

Answer 8

follow your gut, if it tells you something is wrong than listen to it. i feel for you i found myself in the same situation not too long ago and i was right. but try to remember that you can not control what others choose to do, you can only try and work on your relationship from your end and talk to him about your feelings and concerns. trust is a hard thing to get back once it has been damaged but if you have faith in your connection to this person it is worth fighting for. ask questions let him know you are noticing his behavior and then sit back and watch if he is cheating the proof will come to you. they all mess up sooner or later . guys are not as smart as they think they are. and we are not as blind and stupid as they think we are. good luck

Answer 9

If ya'll are in love or been with each other for a while then the only thing is to talk to him and seriously let him know whats wrong with you. If he cares he would truely explain what all the shirts and showers are for. By the way,That is extremly weird. Try that and look at him while he is explaining to see if he look normal or nervious.

Answer 10

Sounds like you dont trust him. I wonder, do you trust yourself? Are you cheating on him, and think he may be like you?

Hey, why blame a guy for improving himself. Do all people that dress nice and shower more than once a day, cheat? This is America, we are all innocent until proven guilty. So either forget about it, or dump him. Whining about how he's changed doesnt help anything.