Christians only please...I need advice on something..?

Question

I know a couple of girls who are very well on their way to an eating disorder. I'm not the best of friends with them, but I still care that they could end up hurting or killing themselves over their appearances. I've thought it over and I really want to talk to them about it before it gets out of hand if it hasn't already, but some people are telling me that it's not a very Christian thing to do because it's none of my business what they're doing. What should I do? Should I tell them what I think or just sit back and watch them hurt themselves? Any advice would be appreciated. I just want to know what would be the best Christian way to go about this. Thanks!

Alot of people on here are doubting me that they have or are on their way to and eating disorder. Trust me, I have prayed about this. And also, I have done tons of research on eating disorders and the more I find out about them the more concern I have for these girls because they are showing tons of signs.

I never thought I would get this many answers....thanks to ALL who have helped! God bless! :)

Answer 1

I agree... you should find all of the evidence on how it is hurting them and show them... Also... if they are young... maybe you should let their parents know.. or ask your parents to talk to thier parents. They can get them the medical help that they need because eating disorders are usually pshycological...

Answer 2

I think it's great that you are so concerned about your friends. If you truly care about them, you'll want to do whatever's in their best interests. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. I think talking to your friends is a very caring and kind thing to do. Don't stop; talk to their parents, their school counselors, their ecclesiastical leaders, anyone who can help. And be there for them, because once a person starts treatment for an eating disorder it's a hard road. Sometimes many of your so-called "friends" abandon you. They could benefit from your friendship then, too. And keep praying. Although I think I've given you good advice, whatever God tells you to do is better than what I've said, if it contradicts.

Answer 3

They may not want to be helped. Ever thought about that? If they are truly anorexic they will not listen to what they see as you meddling in their business and being judgmental with what they see as merely your opinion. Anorexia is accompanied with a self image that they will not see in the same way that you do. But on the other hand if your not the best of friends with them anyway its not like your efforts at helping would damage a nonexistent relationship anyway right? Pray about it, and do what you think God would require of you. Sometimes apprehension over to be bold or not is a sign that you need to act. Other times its a warning to butt out. This is a tough call. Why not try developing a relationship with them aside from the anorexia issue and then dealing with the problem from the stand point of someone they would feel comfortable with?

Answer 4

Most people try a variety of strategies, ask all kinds of people for advice, Paul's Letters, and as a last resort ask God for help. My advice: first, pray to God for guidance, and trust that His answer to you is His Will. If you you not sure about what to pray for, take Jesus' advice and go to your closet and pray the Lord's Prayer (Mathew 6:6-13). This always works for me. I'm sure it will work for you too. Of course, you want to help others. How does anyone know what the best way is? How can anyone presume to know what is best? Even my advice is supect (smile). But I stand by it - pray to God for guidance.

Sometimes God lets things happen for reasons unknown to us. Perhaps God has hardened someone's heart, as He did with the Pharoh (EXODUS 4;21). Perhaps someone is blind not because of the sin he or his parents committed, but that God's love can be made manifest through that person (JOHN 9:3). In general, it is tempting for people to presume to know what the right thing to do is. Perhaps God is using these people to send a message to you. My advice doesn't really come from me, it comes from the one He sent. (John 8:45)

Also, don't feel like you have to do something because you are a good Christian. You are saved by your faith. Jesus did give lots of advice and even commandments for Christians, but don't feel that you have to do anything. Those, who are not saved are still under the law. Those who are saved are no longer under the law (Galactians 2:21, Romans 8:2, John 8:36) . You do it becuase you want to. For example, Jesus said that if your right arm offends you, cut it off - sure, if you want to be saved by the law, which we know you can not do - that was His point. When asked specificaly what the works of God are, Jesus answered (John 6:28-29). When in doubt, pray about it and find out what Jesus said. Jesus also gives God's Commandment, which is similar to God's Will in John12:50. Perhaps, I am simply a tool to guide you back to what Jesus taught.

Answer 5

My Bible says that you should first speak to the individuals in private, expressing your concern and suggesting a healthier course of action. (I suggest the Idiot Proof Diet. It only costs $27 for a lifetime membership...and it WORKS) If your kind words are ignored, and you are truly concerned for their health, like if you KNOW they are throwing up on purpose, call their parents and express your concern. Christians have a hard row to hoe, because we must do what is right, regardless of what happens to our popularity. They will be very angry if you tell their parents, but you might be saving their lives. Another option is to talk to the councillor at school. S/he is a mandated reporter and MUST tell the parents the information, and need not say where it came from. Best wishes and thank you for trying to do what Jesus would do! I'm proud of you for being a fine Christian.

Answer 6

you should talk to your pastor about it, and perhaps he could devise a way to talk to them. I know it sounds a bit extreme, but remember, pastors and people in that field of work have been trained on how to deal with these sorts of things and help people. Your prayers for them will undoubtedly be the most powerful help of all! If you feel strongly compelled, which it seems you do, then just try to make a gentle and sincere comment to them. Evaluate how they take your comment and go from there. You never know, they just may be hurting inside because they feel no one cares very much for them, and your concern may make all of the difference! good luck.

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with speaking to them about it in a conversational way, maybe offering them some articles on the subjects that shows them the warning signs and letting them know that they aren't fat or bad looking and really don't need to do what their doing.

A tactful way to do that is to say that you read the articles and wanted to get their opinions on them.

If that doesn't work and the situation seems to be getting worse there is absolutely nothing wrong with contacting a teacher or their parents. Just realize that if they are hiding their actions from their parents, then they will probably be angry with you for going to them.

Answer 8

sorry i am not a christian but i thought i would try to help you anyways.
if you know someone was about to get into a car wreck you would warn them wouldn't you? well an eating disorder is a car wreck of the body. go ahead and talk with them. the worst thing that can happen is that they won't listen. the best thing that could happen is that you save their lives. please don't let my not being christian stop you from listening to this advice. as a human being who loves all people regardless of faith or beliefs i think we owe it to one another to help when and if we can. so please do what you think is right no matter what the others say.

Answer 9

I think ignoring another person's pain is unforgiveable, but you do have a complex issue to deal with. First, these girls probably don't see the harm of what they are doing. Second, you said you're not really so very close with them. Hopefully, you are close enough to them for casual conversation, so in this case, I would continue to develop your rapport with them without mentioning your concerns as yet. It's like witnessing, you must wait until God provides the opening and you feel Him prompting you. If you go to these girls and you feel nervous and uncomfortable, you're bound to fail. Pray for them and yourself with regard to this issue and wait for the Lord to prompt you to speak. He will give you the words to use. For now, be friendly, open your heart to them when they want to talk, be accepting of them no matter what. Most eating disorders reflect a lack of self esteem. Try not to make them feel judged. Follow your instincts. You sound like a loving and caring friend. Just keep it up!

Answer 10

Christianity is about love. Could you say you love someone and then let them jump off a cliff? Of course you have to try to help them. Just do it in a loving manner. Try to be understanding and not too judgemental. There are usually some deep seated core emotions involved in such disorders.

Answer 11

First of all, there is absolutely nothing wrong with helping these girls if you feel the conviction in your heart to do so. Personally, I would pray for the best approach to take in this situation and go from there. If you have faith, God will point you in the right direction so that you can help these girls.