I'm not good enough... help?

Question

I'm sick of not being good enough for my parents. I'm good at school get good grades and it's always why didn't you do better? I'm sick of not doing so fantastically that there is never anything I can't do - I do my best and my best is pretty darn good.

I get babied by them, I can barely do anything, my dad thinks that at thirteen I should be asleep by 10PM, and not go places on my own and do stuff and I can't stand it anymore. I need help.

its not like im not that great at school, not like saying anything but u might as well no that part from one of my best mates and a few otha peeps i *** really high marks and sometimes top, and also now they aren't right: at thirteen i need a life

i dont have a curfew - i have 2 be ASLEEP by 10PM and i'm barely let out of the house anyway so i dont have a curfew!

i put my age the first time - im 13!

Answer 1

You don't say how old you are!

PK Your parent rs think you could do better at school, yet you have good grades. It seems to me as though they have high expectations! Have you ever tried asking them why>

Reading between the lines, it seems to me your parents are very protective of you, maybe too much but why would that be? Do you know?

Why don't you show your parents how grown up you are by sitting with them and ask them to tell you why they treat you as they do. Try not to raise your voice calm, remain calm, even though you feel like screaming! Just hear them out then tell them how you feel. Ask them to reach a compromise by which you don't feel so cooped up, they don't worry about you either.

You know sometimes parents don't like to see their children grow up! They fear they are going to lose them. Maybe you can reassure them, let them see that you have grown up (Still don't know your age) And that they are not going to lose you. Explain that in order for you to gain their trust, they have to give you a bit of leeway, so you can prove to them that indeed you're grown up!

Best wishes

Answer 2

You are not necessarily wrong. There is a fine line, between a parent setting high standards for their children, and kind of forgetting that the child has an identity of their own. The thing I can agree with is that your parents love you a lot. However, nobody is perfect, and they are trying to do whats best for you and push you to be the best that you can be. However they might not realize that they are making you fel that way. You do need to let them know that they make you feel that you can do nothing right, which will kill your confidence in yourself instead of boosting it. I have been through a similar situation, so I understand how you feel, and as an adult, now I see it was out of love, although to this day, my mother still makes me feel like I am not good enough and I can do nothing right, and I hate that!!! I am in grad school and I get no encouragement, all I hear is the things I am not doing! So know that you are not alone. Just try to be strong and realize that its only temporary. Respect your parents regardless, and itt is true what they say, the flip side of the coin is parents that just don't care at all, and you don't want that either.

Answer 3

OK sweetie well we have all been there at 13 we think that we are all grown up and that our parents are boring old fashioned and never understand us.
But it might look as though you can never do anything right in there eyes, but truly they love you to bits they want you to do well at school so when the time does come for you to leave you will be clever enough to get yourself a really good job that pays well, but if you are really trying your best at school then that's all you can do and your parents have to accept this pushing you to much could end up making you ill.
As for your dad not letting you stay out late well i think most dads are very protective regards there daughters my was a bloody night mare.
But with all the bad things that are happening in today society they are trying there best to make sure no harm comes to you.
On the whole it sounds like you have a very good mum & dad that care for you tons so don't knock that but do ask them to lay off you a little regards the school thing.
Wish you all the best for the future

Answer 4

I see how frustrating it can be for you, being a young mom I can relate to you but also to your parents. I've learned that kids are THE WORLD to their parents, well, at least those caring parents cuz not all parents are that way. But it seems like yours are and like mentioned above you are lucky, but in nicer more compassionate terms, I think a good way to approach this is by talking to your parents in a mature way and let them know the things that bother you, meet them half way and I bet they'll work with you. Tell them that you feel you should have more freedom and in turn reassure them that you're responsible and can prove it to them however they want.

Just keep in mind that a big part of the reason that they are hard on you and overprotective is because of the world we live in, it's not you, we can't trust anybody nowadays, it's a matter of safety and wanting you to be successful, I bet they'll lighten up if you talk to them.

Don't let it get you down, give it a shot and good luck!

Answer 5

If it is one thing I have learned in life it is how luck I was to have the parents I did. They sounded just like yours. I rebelled hard and wish I had listened to them more. I never did anything that I really regret, but there are things that I didn't do (in school and sports) that I wish I had.

Think of how many kids would love to be in your shoes. You have both parents, they are involved in your life, they have set standars and guidelines, they always push you to do better, you are smart, you get good grades and you are babied by your parents. You have it pretty good. With out these things, you might be out late, fail at school, get in trouble, make mistakes and miss out on alot. I am 28 years old and I can tell you, you will have PLENTY of time to make your own decisions and mistakes.

You are in a good place and as long as you know you are trying your best, than you should be happy with yourself. I know it's hard when parents don't give you the valedation you need, but there are far worse things a parent can do.

Good luck, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Answer 6

The curfew is certainly understandable on school nights. Talk to your parents calmly and say that their comments hurt. They can see from your grades that you're already doing well, so why are they saying this to you? Pushing kids to work is OK if the child is lazy, but pushing someone who's already doing well is not good at all. I remember the story of the Israeli girl whose parents made her spend all of her childhood studying. She was a precocious talent and graduated from Oxford University at age 13. As soon as she became an adult, she refused to speak to her parents ever again. I hope your story finishes in a better way.

Answer 7

Oh sweetheart what an awful age to be at, 13 gosh everything is confusing at this age and you feel like everyone is against you... this is natural angel.

You feel you are old enough to do things on your own, well you can blame society for that one, Parents that care are forced to baby our children because of all the evils out there. Although it's hard for you to understand now, you will be exactly the same if you are lucky enough to have a child.

In time they will give you responsibility for yourself, but only when they feel you are old enough and responsible enough for yourself.

As for the ( never being good enough ) when I was younger it used to be " It's not what you know, it's who you know" to get through life. But because living has become harder and more expensive this is not the case any longer, every youth of today has to achieve so much more to survive in the big world. This is why your parents are pushing you, I agree from what you say,they are pushing you too hard, but you need to discuss this with them.

I push my daughter, but I give her choices, and guide lines, if she shows responsibility for her actions she is rewarded by an extra 15 Min's bed time, if she abuses this I deduct 30Min's. Put this to your parents and see what they say.

My daughter is 11, she goes to bed at 9.00pm, every year older she gets I add another 30Min's to her bed time. So if you work it out, by the time she is your age, she too will be going to bed at 10pm, and don't forget, parents need their own time too, and they get their adult time when children are in bed, it works both ways angel.

You won't be 13 all your life, just carry on doing well in your studies, and respect your parents decisions, their obviously doing something right, you sound like a wonderful 13 year old.

Take care sweetheart xx xxx

Answer 8

They're overprotective, not wanting you to make the same mistakes they made, and think that by sheltering you they can save you from the world. As a parent ( and of course former teenager ) I know this strategy doesn't work. They want you to succeed but they're taking the wrong approach. As a minor, you really don't have many choices but to let time go by, and talk to a school counselor when you go back to see if they can schedule a conference with your parents. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make your situation better, but there's very little I can do from Texas.

Answer 9

Honey, even though to you it sounds like you are not good enough for them and they don't let you do anything, this is their way of loving you.

Even though it seems as if they are pushing you to do better, it's because they have faith in you and want you to be the best you can be.

As far as not letting you do anything... it seems as if it sucks now but when you are older you will be really happy that they did that. I was allowed to go out and I got in a ton a trouble. I wish my parents had been more strict because I learned a lot of things the hard way. There are a lot of negative and harmful things out there. Your parents love you and want to protect you until you get older.

Answer 10

Your not alone!

Every person has though this exact same thing at one point in their life. Just relax, your parents are just getting used to you growing up, this can be very stressful for mum and dad! They want to see you become independent, but at the same time you will always be their little girl! My mum still worries after me and I am 29 yr old Soldier!

The best thing you can do, is be responsible and try to understand your parents point of view even when they seem to be irrational! You will get more and more freedom I promise, we all went through this exact same thing, my parents drive me crazy too but I love them very much.

Take a deep breath and realise that mum and dad are just human and no ones perfect!