HELP...i cant get my toddler to go to sleep without me being in her bed untill she falls asleep...?

Question

i usually end up asleep with her and my evenings with my hubby are shot! suggestions pls....

Answer 1

Put him/her down..if she cries, let him/her...it is difficult but will not hurt the kid....too many times parents rush in and the kids see this and manipulate you.

Answer 2

I read some of the answers and they are correct. Not knowing the age of your child, I assume this has been going on for some time. You must discuss her bedtime routine with her before bed time and tell her she gets one or two books and then she must sleep by herself. Begin putting her to bed a little earlier because this process will take some time. You will be exhausted the first couple of nights but it will be worth it. What you must be is consistent. Decide on a time, a routine and stick with it. No matter what do not deviate from the routine or you will have to start all over. If she is old enough to understand you could set up a little reward system like stickers on a poster and for every time she sleeps by herself without a lot of trouble she gets a reward and after several times she gets a bigger reward. Kind of depends on the age though. If she is really young allow her to cry because this is sometimes a way to express exhaustion as well as anger.

Answer 3

The only way to break this cycle is to let her cry it out for a few days. You can help it along by adopting a bed time ritual; get ready for bed at the same time each day, and go lay in bed with her to read a story (a 5 to 10 minute story time), then lights out.

Of course, there's nothing inherently wrong with letting her sleep with you. You could alwas put a video on for her while you and hubby have some private time before you go to bed with her.

Answer 4

The kid needs to be in bed BY HERSELF. Up til now she has gotten away with the crying and fussing, taking you away from your husband. She needs to be weaned off that support. She has you all day she does not need you to sleep. At first the nights will be very loud but you need to tough it out and let her scream for
a while before you intervene. Let it go 5 minutes at first but lengthen the time almost nightly until she figures out you mean business about her going to bed, staying there and going to sleep on her own. The longer this has been going on the harder it will be to stop. What are you going to do when she goes to college?
Kidding, but you see my point. Everyone needs to learn to sleep alone. That lesson needs to be sooner than later. This habit, and it is a habit, needs to be over. This is a small child who knows how to manipulate you. This time its sleep habits. If it continues
she will find more manipulation strategies like tantrums.

Answer 5

This is very normal for a toddle to want to sleep with you. I have 3 kids and all 3 did the same thing. What i did is that when my husband was ready to go to sleep, i would get him to come get me from the kids room. Just cause i would almost always fall asleep. And on weekends, when we wanted alone time. He would give me about 1/2 hour then come and check on us. If we were both asleep he would wake me and i would get up.
Good luck and treasure this time with your children.

Answer 6

I am having the same problem sort of. My son needs to have his butt rubbed, or his head rubbed in order ot fall asleep. It does not bother me, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night and can't put himself back to sleep because he need that rub.

I wouldn't suggest putting your daughter in bed with you because then she will fall into the habit of sleeping with you guys. I would either stop letting her nap and have her really tired during the day to where at night she's ready to pass out and let her get into the habit that way, or try to explain how big girls sleep by themselves.See how that works.

Answer 7

My suggestion would be to put her in her bed and let her cry for alittle bit and go back in after she crys for alittle bit to let her know you are there but do not get in bed with her. Just tell her that it is time for her to be a big girl and sleep by herself. My aunt made the mistake you are making and the girl didn't sleep by herself until she was like 8 or 9. So

Answer 8

you need to leave her alone she will cry and get out of bed but you must not let her win she is the child you are the parent and you are letting her run the show that is NOT good
if you do not do something about this right now while she is young then what is she going to be like as a teenager (yeah i know she will be sleeping by her self at that time but you will have taught her by that time that she is the boss)

Answer 9

Try sitting on the floor next to her, lay your head on her bed and hold her hand. Explain that it's too crowded and you'll lay right there. The next night do the same but don't lay your head down. Everynight slowly detatch yourself from her and then her bed until you can put her to bed, and sit by her door and read until she's alsleep. After a couple of night of that, simply put her to bed and tell her that your going to get your book, if she stays in bed while your gone then you'll come sit by her door, if she gets up then she's on her own. With any luck within a couple of weeks she'll be going to bed like a pro and you'll finally get to know your husband!

This method worked very will with my oldest son but took a bit longer with my youngest. Have patience!

It might also help if after you move from her bed to across the room, if you husband fills in for you....most likely, she'll part with him easier then she will with you.

Answer 10

What you want to do is to make them sleep without you for one night, if they cry let them, but make sure they can see you. Within a couple days they should be used to seeing you near them when they sleep, when they stop cring start moving farther away from them, when you get to the point where they cant see you anymore you want to leave them like that for a few minutes them WALK back into their sight, do not rush or they will manipulate you and you will have to start over.

Answer 11

I've been threw this myself with my 3 children, you have to let them cry. The first night let them cry for 10 minutes and then come in and sooth them and put them back to bed. The next night, increase the time and repeat, until eventually they cry themselves out and fall asleep.

You ARE the problem, not them. Learn to accept that they are safe even when crying and ignore their adorable attempts at controlling you and getting what they want.

You are the adult here, act like one.


Good luck.