How can I get my nearly 5 year old son to enjoy playing piano so he can practice more often?

Question

I have enrolled him in a music conservatory last April. He knows 3 simple songs, and he also knows how to read music. The challenge comes in when he will not play anything new or he goes at such a slow pace that he cannot keep up with the class. In other words, he is currently 3 songs behind. I have tried the following approaches so far: 1) asking him to play what he already knows as a warmup 2) playing myself and asking him to join in 3) providing incentives like ice cream if he plays for 5 minutes 4) removing mindless activities like watching television until he has had his daily session. I know it's been a praticularly bad piano practicing week because he has not had any television since last Wednesday. In other words, I didn't allow him to watch any television until he had even one practice session. Another part of the problem is if he has a break between piano practice sessions it's like pulling teeth to get him back on the piano again.

Actually, the conservatory said the piano is the instrument he should stick with for two years. He does not have the dexterity to take on another instrument at this time. The piano is the cornerstone of all musical instruments. Many teachers have said this. He showed an interest in piano when he was 3. It was my idea to channel that energy into piano lessons. It wouldn't even matter if it was my idea or not. I know of parents who get there kids into hockey or ballet or swimming lessons, and the beginning was a struggle. My own hairdresser got her kids into ice skating (to prepare them for hockey) when they were 18 months. There were many frustrating moments for both the parents and the child;i.e : they wouldn't even go on the ice. Now they are 8 and 9 years old and they play hockey competetively, and love it. My son's godmother started her son off with swimming. When he was around my son's age he refused to put his head under water. Now he's 12 and has won several medals.

I am not forcing him to do anything! This is about commitment, and not giving up.
Of course I let him enjoy being a kid and letting him play. There is a different between unstructured and structured play activities. There is nothing wrong with having goals and trying to reach them! Music is good for the brain! This helps him be a good student at school. He does have the attention span for that. This isn't about that. It's about trying something new annd sticking with it. I find that it's the same things with swimming lessons, or anything new. 5 year olds don't even necessarily know precisely what they want or they quit before seeing something all the way through. He was enjoying it for a while and was even proud of himself. We have run over a few rough spots. Of course it's easy to just give up! Why not quit? That would be less work for me!

2nd grade? Are you kidding? He is in a class with eight other 4 and 5 year olds. He is not too young. He has the attention span for it. He knows how to read music. He can play quite well. He's got excellent finger dexterity. I want to encourage him to keep playing. Some of you people are missing the point!

I'm sorry, but as I said before the piano is the cornerstoine of all musical instruments. At nearly 5 years old he doesn't have the dexterity to play anything else. Another thing is cost. We have a piano. I'm not about to go out and purchase another instrument, just so he may change his mind again. Sometimes choosing activities is hit and miss. Sometimes you do have to take the parents into account. Piano is one of the more affordable structured activities.

Can you please give me an answer that will help me to encourage my son to keep playing piano? I need encouragement, not ways to give up. Some of you have given some details re: what approach to use. Most of you however are saying to give up? Why? Just because the going gets a little tough. When I was 13 years old I learned how to play the guitar. I gave up when the going got tough, and now I am living to regret it. I work in a capacity where I could have played guitar for many underpriveledged people. I would have liked to have something to put on my resume that I knew how to play guitar. The same thing with driving lessons. I started and never finished them I am living to regret it now.

If you want I can give you an even longer list of things I have given up on. It's so d*** easy to just quit. It felt good at the time. No more pressure to do anything. What do you think it does to a person's self-esteem in the long run? Our culture breeds it. Kids don't always know what they want. They can want something in the beginning and then change their minds at this age. They are fickle. My son did this with swimming lessons and learning to ride a bicycle. He hasn't been in a pool since a year ago, and the bicycle I got him at Easter is still sitting in the garage.

Many of you people are parents of multiple children. Well, I am a Mom of 1 child. It is in some ways a disadvantage. Why not turn it into an advantage? I can make it my personal life's mission to help him excel. This is easier to do when you have just 1 child. A good chunk of my social resources can be poured into my son.

I'm not grounding him from the tv. I'm putting it off until he has completed activities, not just piano. When I ask him to pick up his toys and he doesn't do it, the tv stays off until he does. There is nothing wrong with that. It's just a distraction. It doesn't have any real educational value.I still take him to the park, read to him, and do puzzles, drawing, colouring etc. with him. He is actually a very bright child. He has a lot of activities to do. I have more toys, games and books than a typical daycare classroom. TV has no place in learning. It's either too babyish or too violent. He has an excellent vocabulary. He is one of the top students in his class.

We have a recorder. It's actually my husband's. He likes listening to his father play, but he only has a fleeting interest in playing. My husband tried to teach him how to play that already, and let me tell you it's harder to teach a 5 year old recorder than it is the piano. The recorder is something my husband will teach him when he's older. Art lessons? That didn't take. My husband is very skilled in art. He weven worked in the field professionally. We thought our son would naturally take to the art more than the music. So far, no.

So far, you are the closest to answering my question. My son needs to finish the duration of the course too. I will not bribe him anymore though. I may consider private lessons some other time. That was already suggested. But understanding the material is not the issue. He is not keeping up with his class because he's not practicing. The same would go for private lessons. He would still need to practice before he goes to private lessons. Private lessons are more expensive than class lessons also. I disagree with you RE: recommended age though. Many children know how to read at an even earlier age. Reading music is also simpler than reading words on a page. If you look at famous muscicians, i.e: Mozart. He learned at 4 and look at how famous he became. My neice learned piano at 4, and now she's an extremely talented singer at 17! She's won several scholarships. I think the earlier, the better. The first 6 years are when the brain develops fundamental connections.

But you don't start things at 6. It's accumulative.

Traumatizing my child for helping with piano? That's ridicoulous! I'm not even forcing him. The expectation is there that he practice, but if he doesn't end up praciticing, that's his decision! I have very narrow windows of opportunity to sit one to one with him to do anything, including piano. There has been various gaps in his piano playing in the past. When I worked night shifts I hardly practiced with him at all. Stop insulting me!

Traumatized? Give me a break! I wish my parents did not allow me to give up learning how to play guitar when I was 13. I wish they encouraged me to take driving lessons. As an adult, I would say I am more traumatized by them having given up on me than a parent who put a little pressure on their child to follow through. Anything worth going for is worth the effort. I don't see recitals, concerts as being a stress inducer. Music is enriching. It makes life worth living! My son does love music, but sometimes he just doesn't want to put in the effort, and that could apply to anything else. Not want ing to dress himself, take a bath, practice his letters,. Even when soemone enjoys something it could require a great deal of time and effort.

Oh, and BTW, when I turned off the tv my son didn't even miss it. He didn't complain about it because he enjoyed going to the park instead.

Oh, so your two sons play piano. At what age did they start? Yes, I also disagree with you too! I don't believe you. Why wait until later? Have you seen the research on how music affects the brain? My son is too old for pre-school music lessons. That's usually up to age 4. He has done something like what you said though already at an earlier age from 7 months until 2 years. There was dancing, and singing. The school went bankcrupt. . Why wait until 6 or 7 ? They start getting more homework at that age. It would be harder to get them into a routine. Piano actually improves study skills. The sooner you start the better.

The question clearly states how can I get my nearly 5 year old son to enjoy piano so he can practice more often? I never asked you guys to say "quit playing" did I? Some of you guys did answer my question. Thank you very much. I do like your answers. Keep them coming! As for the person who suggested I was rambling, I only added detail in response to other people's comments. It looks like you didn't even read my apparent "rambling" or you wouldn't have responded the way you did.

To those of you who said I am traumatizing my son or expecting too much I find that I need to keep adding more detail in order for you to get it.
Some of you guys make it sound like his life is filled with tons and tons of piano lessons and he has to practice for hours and hours each day. HE GOES TO 1 LESSON PER WEEK! I ASK HIM TO PRACTICE FOR 5 MINUTES PER DAY! WHAT THE HELL IS 5 MINUTES? THAT'S NOTHING! He is involved in many other activities, structured and unstructured.
To the writer who implied he is inactive: he has certainly got a lot of fun activities to do. He most certainly is not obese. He is far from it! He still wears size 4 clothing in the pre-school size. He is certainly not inactive! That is a pile of nonsense!

Answer 1

If he doesn't want to play - don't make him. For the love of God - Don't be that mom!

Answer 2

You are probably going to like my answer about as much as you like the others, but here goes: Give him a break. By stopping piano lessons for a year or two, you are not going to harm your child in any way. Maybe Mozart was playing at 3 or 4, but he is one person in the whole history of the earth. Could your child be the next Mozart? Maybe, but what if he's not? Maybe he'll be the next Bill Gates instead. My point is, what's the rush? You even seem to be rushing his age. He is four, and was clearly four when you enrolled him in the music conservatory. That is awfully young. You say there are other children that young in his class, but children mature at different rates. Boys especially have a hard time sitting in one place, and doing something they are bored by. Letting your son stop with the piano now is not the same as your parents letting you quit guitar at 13. Why not try some other music enrichment class for pre-schoolers. He will be able to play with lots of different instruments, dance, sing, etc. There is plenty of time for piano when he is a little older. I know you want the best for your child - we all do - but sometimes more isn't better. My boys started around 8. They are able to fit it in with their homework, which by the way, is not heavy at the age of 6 or 7. It's practically nonexistent. I tried to be polite with you and make useful suggestions, but I can see now that there is no getting through to you. Yes, music is a wonderful thing for a child's brain, but so are so many other things. You are obviously an older (checked your other questions) first-time mother who is way too focused on your child's achievements, to the detriment of his mental health. Anyone who admires a parent who forces an 18 month old to ice skate, so they can be future hockey players is disturbed. A child that age has only been walking for a few months, for heaven's sake.

Answer 3

Have you tried private lessons? Children learn at different speeds and with various methods. It may be hard for him to be in a class where he seems to be trying to play catch up - how can that be enjoyable?

Whoever mentioned 2nd grade is right. That is the recommended age to start lessons. However, recommended does not always mean right - it depends on the child. My daughter's piano teacher will not take a student would can not read on their own.

My daughter has been in gymnastics since she was 2 and started piano (private lessons) shortly after she turned 6. She is now 7 1/2 and going into 2nd grade. I have never once had to force (drag, bribe or beg) her to go to the gym (even as a 2 year old) or to practice the piano. She loves both activities and always has.

Music and piano may not be your childs thing and if so, help him find something that is. There are many other activities and though some may cost more than others, his happiness and enjoyment should be work the extra $$.

If my daughter doesn't enjoy something I do not force her to do it. She has a choice in what she does. However, if she signs up for something and wants to quit I make her finish it out for the duration. Then when it is time to sign back up she doesn't have to. She also knows she can always change her mind and sign up for the activity the next time around.

AND as a 5 year old my daughter tried softball and decided she did not like it. And recently (after 2 yrs.) she has decided she no longer enjoys dance. She finished these things out but did not sign up for the again. I make her see things through because signing up for an activity is making a commitment and she needs to understand that commitments need to be fullfilled. FYI - She replaced softball with tennis and loves it!

Answer 4

Wow you really rambled on forever! I thought i would never get to the end to answer it. He may never like it! Take him to lessons once and a while but dont push it down his throat. If you are always bringing him to lesson after lesson and making him play at home he may get sick of it. A 5 year old needs to be out playing games with other children. Sitting down all the time at such a young age may cause him to gain weight and become over weight later on. So get him up and active playing with other kids outside getting much needed vitamin D from the sun. Maybe save the lessons for when he is age 10+.

Answer 5

Ask your son if he likes playing piano. Don't make him play if he doesn't like it. I'd either wait until he's a little older, about 6 and try again, or even try another instrument. I think it's great that you want to "enrich" his life with something other than television, just don't get obsessed; let him be a kid.

Teach him some fun kids' songs to play and tell him how "cool" he is and let him show off for his friends ; )

Answer 6

Maybe you should get him the sheet music for a couple of songs that He wants to play instead of the ususally boring tunes that the music teachers dole out. If that doesn't work out then maybe the piano isn't the instrument for him. Ask him what instrument he would like to play.

Answer 7

You have started him a little too early and forcing him to continue will only make him hate it. Children should begin piano around 2nd grade and they should be encouraged to continue for at least 3 years before changing instruments.

Answer 8

Why are you forcing your child to do something he isn't interested in? Shouldn't his activities result from things he LIKES? My 6 year old would never sit still for that. And the more I pushed him, the more he'd refuse. He does sports and karate and loves both. Find something your son likes, and he'll be begging to practice, instead of being bribed. Don't force your wants and desires on him, let him decide what he'd like to do for fun.

Answer 9

well lets see u cant he is 5 for heven sake let him be a little kid while he can he wont be one long and maybe he dont like it maybe he will resent u for forcing him to take piano lessons. all u can do is wait and see if he wants to do it not wait and see if u want him to. u cant force him to do what u want him to in that case. cause what if he dont like it dont u care what ur kid likes or thinks be a better mom damn just ask him about it ask him if he likes it or if he even wants to play

Answer 10

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Answer 11

Maybe rather than have several incentive/denial plans in place, it's better to just stick with one? Encourage him by telling him how much you enjoy hearing him play.

Does he say why he doesn't like to practice?


Edit:


Sounds like something to just continue to stick out. Odds are he'll appreciate it later but you definitely have my sympathy during the rough parts. More parents should encourage their children to stick with challenging tasks like this.