How come people give advice they are not willing to go through themselves?

Question

I read in a book don't counsel or give advice to people that you are NOT willing to go through yourself.

There is a person that has done that to me, she says be thankful for all you have and it is a good life God did not mean for you to have children. Be content.

Meanwhile this person and others like her don't have to work, have extra income coming in, have children and grandchildren and life is not really Getting on thier case.

I think before I speak and I would never give any one a pat answer on how to handle and approach life. Everyone has to answer for the song they have sung myself included.

When I have given counsel as God leads I speak doubly to myself.

Why are people so insentive and give adivce or counsel when they have no clue?

Answer 1

Everyone goes through some type of experience in their life! Even if it might look as though they are living high on the hog right now, that doesn't mean that they truly are! A lot of people don't like to share with others about the pain, and agonies, that they have been through, but they give their advice because they don't want to see anyone else go through with what they had too! Everyone has a past experience that has happened in their life at one time or another that was not very good!

Answer 2

Are you saying that these people who have given this advice to be content with what you have, are not content with what they have? Are they upset with there lot and are you sure that they have no personal troubles? Maybe they see some of the bounties in your life that you have taken for granted. Have have yet to meet a person who has no troubles, past and present. There may be issues of which you are not privy to. I rarely tell people to "just trust in God", people seldom want to hear that complaining about something you have no control over won't make it change.
I am sorry to see here that you feel that your friends are more fortunate than you and are thereby unsympathetic. While you are entitled to feel bad the things you see as misfortunes, you will never be able to make others feel anything without their permission. If you don't want to look to God for your fortunes, look to yourself. Only you can change you circumstances.

And yes this is advice that I live by, I have to work at it every day. It is easy to be jealous, and much harder to be happy for someone else when they get something you both wanted. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Are you talking about people who are not willing to practice such advice as indicated in your answer or people who do not need to follow such advice such as the person in your example? There is a big difference.
Sometimes people give advice that they did not follow because they know that they should have and then pass on the experience of what could happen if it is not followed -kwim? I call it hindsight advice or the old 'If I knew then what I know now' advice. I would listen to these people because they know what should have been done but are paying the price of not doing it.
As far as the other ones go, well, some just like to show off unearned knowledge or they may know someone else in your situation. Some just like to think they know best.

Answer 4

You know the passage that says, "Be a DOER of the Word & not a hearer only"? Well, it is implying there is a tendency to both hear & know the Truth without actually applying it.And, speaking from a psychological perspective, people frequently attack in others the very things they are dealing with themselves, but don't know how to (or don't WANT to) resolve. So, they go after the other person. Dealing with their own issues requires work they're not willing to invest in, whereas going after someone else is a flash in the pan, & it's done.

Answer 5

Dear Encourager 4,

The best couselor is the Lord Jesus Christ!! Many people attempt to give cousel but in effect they are leading people away from the right way. I believe the Bible is the only sourcebook for truth and counsel! In fact, when you read the Bible you are sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to God. The Bible is a diffiult book but is filled with precious treasure. The Lord has given us wisdom in His Bible so that we do not have to learn a lesson by experiencing it but by reading and meditating on His words. May I suggest you look at this website: www.familyradio.com. I hope this will help you!

Answer 6

Yep, easier said than done, the wisdom of fools at times. It takes looking beyond yourself and truly or trying to understand the other person many people can't see past their nose and can't comprehend what the person is going or care. .. Counsel is a gift of the holy spirit. I honestly think that a crisis is Christianity is people trying to get more converts instead of practicing what they preach. The world does not need more Christians it needs Christians that practice Christianity.

Answer 7

Its easier to give advice than to take it. It is so much easier to look into the lives of other people and see what can be done to improve or help a situation, but looking into your own life is hard and takes courage. You can't always see whats right in front of you. Just know who your listening too and only take the advice that you know is coming from a true source. Usually when we seek advice its to help push us into a direction we are already headed in. Trust yourself.

Answer 8

It's not that they're being insensitive, it's just that they don't know what to do to help. They will give you the 'pat answer' because it's the only thing they can think of. They care about you, so they want to do something, and that's the best they've got.

Of course, some people are just jerks. Ignore those ones.

Answer 9

People love to tell others what to do or express what they think is the right thing to do. It is easier said than done apparently.

Answer 10

It is becaues it is easy to see the speck in someone's else's eye than to see the log in your own. You need to tell this "friend" of yours that she is going out of line telling you stuff like that & that it's depresses you rather than help you out. Again, since humans differ coz of our personality types, if she persists you may have to break off your relationship.