Help Ineed advice on my dramatic 121\2 yr old girl?

Question

My daughter is 121\2 yrs. old and no matter how i go about things she get very emotional and always says nobody cares about her or she wishes she was somewhere else i have tried a thousand ways she never thinks she is in the wrong and it is everyone elses fault. I cant talk to her at all at first i thought she was just PMSing but she still hasnt started so i dont know what to do.

Answer 1

i would ask her doctor about it i have a 12 year old son & he doesnt act that way but it may be a normal thing for a girl her age...how ever if things dont change i would think about maybe family counceling before things get out of hand..i think too many people these days dont really pay attention to their children untill its too late if she has a problem i think u may have found it in time to help her ...i can tell u are a good parent who loves and cares for your child so u just do what u think is best & im sure things will turn out just fine

Answer 2

Your daughter is completely normal. Adolescence is a very difficult time (more so emotionally for girls). My best advice would be to talk with her and see why she feels that way. Let her know that you care about her and would like to see her happy. See if the two of you can reach a compromise on how to go about things.
Ask her what it is that upsets her. Be prepared for any answer, but whatever you do, do not tell her that she is wrong. Validate her feelings and let her know that it's alright to feel how she is feeling. She needs to know that you love her no matter what.
During this period, she is trying to figure out who she is and that is tough (remember when you were that age?). Try to get to know what she is thinking. Keep in mind that she is changing. Try to figure out what her interests are and go from there. Maybe you can have a mother/daughter day once a week or every two weeks or once a month. Maybe she could get involved in some activities (sports, art, etc.). Also, don't battle over the small stuff (hair, clothes, etc.)! That will ruin your relationship faster than anything. Allow her to be who she is and accept her.

The main thing to keep in mind is that she is an adolescent. Being an adolescent is tough and she needs your love and support more than anything. Just take it one step at a time and know that in time she will grow out of this. Whatever you do, let her know that you love her and who she is. Parents are the most important factor!

Answer 3

It's most likely just normal teenage drama that everyone goes through, but there might be something else that is wrong. Has she started hanging out with a new group of friends? Anything big happen recently like a divorce or the loss of a friend or loved one? Has she started developing? These are all things that could make her act out in this way. Since you are the parent, you get to make the decisions. It may be time to take her to a therapist or family counselor to get to the bottom of it. More often than not, kids are more willing to talk to complete strangers about their problems than their own parents. Don't give up on her, do everything you can to help her. Good luck!

Answer 4

This is not uncommon with young people of her age. If she is doing ok in school, has some friends and is in good health you may be best advised to relax and wait it out as millions of parents have done with teen and pre-teen children. Persistent efforts at "solving the problem" may just make it worse.

On the other hand, if her grades are falling, if she is socially isolated, is not eating reasonably, sleeping well or shows obvious signs of depression .... these are signs that you should perhaps consider seeking the advice of a professional; if you do, seek help for yourself first in dealing with her and help for her afterwards if truly needed.

Meanwhile, stay the course .... be a parent, not a friend ... let her know that you love her but that you still have expectations from her vis-a-vis school and family responsibilities.

Answer 5

I know that it's hard to deal with. I was once a dramatic 12 year old too. It's a stage that almost all girls go through. Has she been through anything traumatic recently? Maybe it's her way of dealing with something else that's going on. Maybe she's clinically depressed, and she's screaming for help! Just be patient with her. Have you tried ignoring the behavior? If not, try that, once she sees that she isn't going to get a rise out of you, she may return to her normal self.

Answer 6

I have a fourteen year old daughter that has been PMSing since birth! she gets emotional about everything. I try so hard to cater to her but to no avail. I couldn't talk to her either but I finally but my foot down and told her to chill out and take responsibility for her own actions. Tantrums and attitudes should lead to her being punished. That's what works my daughter. Everytime she starts up I warn her. Ungratefulness and whining should not be tolerated! Sounds like your daughter might be getting her woman hood soon!

Answer 7

I have been through those tough teenage years myself. Kids are just trying to figure out where they stand in this big ole world of ours. I wouldn't press too much on her about how she is feeling. Just keeping an "open door" policy to her in case she should need your guidance should be enough. Harping on her will only push her farther away. You know that she isn't always right, but sometimes you just have to pick your battles. Are some of these issues REALLY worth arguing over or devoting so much attention to? Good luck to ya!

Answer 8

Oh how my wife and I remember those days....the bottom line is she is as confused as you are and it is your responsibility to be the voice of reason and keep a level head about friends she wants to associate with that can influence her behavior...Be prepared for the unexpected, go with your gut feeling when you have made an unpopular decision whether she is following your rules or not...it can prevent serious consequences that your child never seems to acknowledge could happen to them.

Answer 9

It's a stage. Ignore the drama. Apparently she's getting something out of your jumping through hoops. Stop jumping through them and see what happens.

Otherwise give her a logical answer like, if you wanna be somewhere else, there's the door. Fend for yourself, make you own money, get your food, clothes, shelter and everything else you want.

Answer 10

Ignore the drama. And spend extra time with her. At that age they usually don't want to go anywhere with you but, if you let her bring a friend too then you can hang out and she won't feel like you are too horrible. Get the friends to like you then when you need help it's easier.