custody of unborn child?

Question

i'm separating from my husband who mentally abuses me. he say's he's going to take the baby away from me when it's born .who has rights over baby when born?what do i need to do to keep him from takeing him

Answer 1

well, you will have the rights if he doesn't sign the birth certificate... he would have to take you to court. Get a lawyer. Good luck.

Answer 2

If you are married, whether he signs the birth certificate or not he is the LEGAL father simply because you are married to him. Even if the baby were another man's child, until a court of law changes it, the legal husband is the legal father. Sorry. Now about him taking the baby. Document EVERYTHING! Have friends write statements to what they have witnessed. Date everything that you can date accurately. Begin keeping a dated diary of all contact with him . Begin recording all conversations with him. Be sure that you let him know ahead of time though for the recordings to be admissable in court. You can simply tell him, "I am recording every conversation I have with you from this point forward so that you can see what an abuser you are." Be sure that you record you informing that you are recording from that point forward. Be sure to that you state the date and time (either before or after the recording). That will be very revealing to the judge and or jury. My son's "father" was recorded telling me that he was going to kill me and kidnap my son so that my mother would never be able to see him again. I can't get him into court, but I can just about promise you that once I do get him into court that will not fare well for him. It is called terrorist threats. Good luck and be careful. Mental abuse usually escalates to physical abuse when the mental abuse no longer works in controlling the one being abused. Please , please be careful. Also, you do NOT have to let him know when you go to the hospital and have the baby. And you can request that no information be given about you while at the hospital. That way, unless someone tells him, he cannot come in and find you or the baby and receive the ID bracelet by some chance and have th opportunity to leave with the baby. That's exactly what my son's father threatened to do. I FLIPPED! It didn't happen, but was still a scary thought.

Answer 3

won't happen dont worry the judge will i doubt allow the farther to take full custody of a newborn child from a physically and mentally healthy mother, the baby needs to be with the mother for breast feeding ect so he has got *** all chances of getting it. also like these people have said record all the emtional abuse he is giving you, but there is no point getting a lawyer now as no lawyer will take the case on as the baby is not born, they will not do anything about it trust me i know, i worked in a law firm and i have been in the same postion as you, you can also not put him on the birth cert but he can content to that in court. but pretty much all you can do at the moment is to be fully aware that first as long as your not mentally ill or physically ill or have no place to live or no money than he won't get the child make sure u document everything letter txts phone calls email everything!! and like i said a lawyer won't do anything until the baby is born so all you can do is go to a lawyer and get advice that is all.

Answer 4

His threats are just another form of his abuse. Keep a journal of all the nasty things he has to say, let him know you are recording phone conversations, and met him only in your lawyers office. As far as him "taking the child away", he can't. He has to prove you an unfit mother, and if you are fit in caring for this child you shouldn't have any concerns. The most you can except from this situation is a very long, costly divorce that includes home visits from the "family services", and meetings for you and him with psychologist. I am sure their will be a custody hearing that will require friend and family to testify to each of the parents ability to provide care for the child. More than likely, you will have joint custody, with your home being the primary residence.

Answer 5

you both have rights and you need to hire an attorney to get custody of the child, so if he comes and takes the baby at that time its considered kidnapping. without a court order determining custody, either natural parent has equal rights to transport the baby anywhere for any amount of time.
Be proactive and get custody before he takes the child and then files for custody himself. Possession is not only 9/10ths of the law, in child cases, the courts don't like disruption to the child's life, so if he takes the newborn and no one gets into court for a couple of years, the court is going to be leaning in favor of leaving the child where it is, and granting visitation to the other parent, rather than changing custody. Unless, of course, there is some compelling reason to make the change. A mother is almost always going to be favored with an infant...unless again, there's a reason she shouldn't have him.
The best thing to do is to find your local women's shelter, and talk to them. They will know the laws in your state, as custody laws differ by state, and they will likely have free or lowcost help available to you. Plus you'll be able to get some counseling for yourself to come to terms with the mental abuse you have suffered, and thus your moods and low self esteem/ego won't affect your unborn child, or your newborn. These things affect children in ways that no one understands. You need to be happy and whole so that your child can be. Getting help for yourself IS getting help for your child. They are not two different things.

Remember, when you think of going back to him (like most women do) that if he treats you like this, how will he treat his own child? and what will that child learn from him on how to treat women (if it's a boy) or how a woman should be treated (if its a girl).

Good Luck and be Strong.


p.s. i was reading some of the above posts, and i haven't got through them all yet, but i'd like to clarify some things. If you are married, 1) he can just take the baby from you until and unless there is a court order saying he can't and 2) in most states if you are married when the baby is conceived, it is considered to be the husband's child, unless the husband, within a certain amount of time questions the paternity....so it is likely that just leaving his name off the birth certificate is not going to work.

pps. i see a lot of suggestions for journaling. everyone of them is an excellent suggestion. Do it.
But what i see that disturbs me is a number of people telling you that he can't take your child, that the courts favor the mother. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!! He is the Father in the same way you are the Mother, your rights are equal to that child (Period). UNTIL AND UNLESS A COURT SAYS OTHERWISE, ONE PARENT CANNOT KIDNAP THEIR OWN CHILD FROM THE OTHER. YOU CAN'T KIDNAP SOMETHING THAT IS YOURS, THUS IF HE SNEAKS INTO YOUR HOUSE AND TAKES YOUR BABY, THE ONLY CRIME HE'S COMMITTED IS BREAKING AND ENTERING, NOT KIDNAP. At this point to get the child back, and to make sure he can't come take it again, you have to go through the court system....while he has your child in his possession...and wait for the court to (hopefully) order the child into your custody. If the court were to make such an order and he refused to comply, this would be the first time he's violated the law by possessing the baby. The courts oftentimes do favor the mother, especially for infants, BUT DO NOT RELY ON THIS, it is NOT UNIVERSAL, so do the journaling, find witnesses to the abuse, file the police report, all the things that people above said, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, GO GET CUSTODY THROUGH THE COURTS THE MOMENT THAT CHILD IS BORN. This means having a lawyer ready to file the papers while you are still pregnant. Notify the lawyer the moment you give birth and have the papers filed.....you may be able to do it while you are still pregnant, i don't know, ask your lawyer. If you can't file before birth, do it immdiately afterward, and let the hospital know that you are the only one to see the baby, that the father has threatened to steal it....the hospital will keep him away if for no other reason than to keep the child safe and healthy rather than having it smuggled out of the hospital before it is released.

Answer 6

Get an attorney and be ready to go to court for custody. It is very rare that a mother loses custody of her child unless she can be proven unfit. As a matter of fact with a newborn (especially if you breastfeed) I doubt he will get over night visitation until she is 2 or 3. However , better safe than sorry so get an attorney and be prepared for anything he may try.

Answer 7

he would have to prove that u r an unfit mother and if that's not he case, it's damn near impossible for him to take the baby. if u can prove the mental abuse, that'll definately give u a better case. be sure that u have a safe home for the baby to come home to, stay away from drugs or anyone u know that does drugs, be wary of any boyfriends in the future that may have a sketchy past, and it's better if they don't live with you. don't give him any fuel for his case. my friend is going thru this right now.

Answer 8

First, you need to document all the abuse.

Second, you need to tell people around you of the abuse. If possible, try to get witnesses , tape it and try to open a police report or get a restraining order.

The reasons for the abuse is that if you have no record or witnesses of the abuse then he can say that you are making it all up or even that you are the abuser.

GET A LAWYER BEFORE THE BABY COMES !!!!!!!!!!!!

He will make sure that the child and you are protected.

best to you

Answer 9

You need to get yourself a lawyer...he can't just take the baby from you. You have to go through the court system. You may need to settle for joint custody. Besides...you need to have custody for a bit when the baby is born...if you are going to breastfeed. Also...don't put his name on the birth certificate...then he will have to pay to prove the baby is his...Get a lawyer before the baby is born, so you are ready for him when it is born. Just relax...stressing isn't good for you or the baby

Answer 10

Don't put him on the birth certificate as being the father. Write "unknown". Most maternity wards these days have super strict security and won't let anyone in unless you specifically say that they can come in, or give the guard a list of names. Otherwise they'll turn people away. at least, this is the way it was where my boys were born (SE Michigan).

Answer 11

you have the right of the mother to care for the baby!! Go to court for custody, and tell them what you told america who reads this, and say you don't feel he would be a safe parent to this child, your afraid he will do the same to this child as he did to you. Go file sole custody of this child, and when he does see the child you know he will try to brainwash him/ or her and say you were the bad one, so watch out for that. But go file custody papers.