He left us many years ago for another woman. Only that relationship didn't last. Now he's married to another woman. And I've always encouraged the kids to have a relationship with their father. Only it was always very strained ... to the point where he mentioned to someone once that his kids only call him at Christmas and birthdays for money. The kids never contacted him since. When he called me to ask why, I told him. He defended himself by saying that his statement was true. I responded with the fact that now he can longer make that statement anymore, and what was actually accomplished? He knows I always sent him photos as they were growing up. But he knew he made a mistake, and when I didn't want him back he decided to hurt me through our kids. I think it has back-fired on him. Only now the kids have grown and come to their own conclusions. Is there a way I can still make it right? Perhaps it's too late, but as a mother, I'll do anything to insure their emotional well-being.
2006-06-26 04:34:47 · 8 answers · asked by TCBgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I was in the same situation. My childrens father paid barely any attention to them for almost four years. Then he remarried, and put on a very impressive performance for his new wife on what a great Father he was. I never stood in the way of any of it, figuring the time spent with them - whatever the motivation- was good.
the older my children have gotten, the more they "see" for themselves. Kids are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for.....I am glad now that I didn't "bite" back and stayed out of it all.....it's not up to you to encourage the relationship, it was up to their Father to maintain the relationship.
2006-06-26 04:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by ceffedupwithwhiners 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why dont all of you do something together. That would show the kids that you're ok with things & maybe help them feel more comfortable around him since they haven't been in such a long time. All of you go to the movies together or on a picnic, fishing, museum, something like that. Do this a few times & try to keep the talk casual not bringing up the past at all. Talk about likes & dislikes, tell funny stories, things light hearted & most of all pray about it. Soon the kids may feel comfortable around him without you actually having to there. Feel your ex in on the plan & his wife. I think this could work. I wish you the very best of luck. God bless.
2006-06-26 04:56:51 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar Dumplin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask your self what do you go with on your existence, activity, destiny, residing house, what ever it would desire to be. Then ask your self who carry you back. formerly you do all of that what approximately your toddlers. adult males come a dime a dozon. First you have childrens to think of approximately. What can he do in reformatory. 2 you're protecting your self back! you're able to do better woman. circulate to college, get a job, what ever you do think of approximately those 2 infants first. Then set you some short term and long term targets. (be life like) rather you are able to answer your man or woman question. You suggested that he's a liar and untrue. do you go with that for the time of your toddlers AND YOUR existence? persons are human beings and adult males are adult males no count the age. shop(actual) friends and kin around who rather love you. learn and strengthen from what you have been via. Your actual friends and kin may be useful you thruogh nonetheless cases.(once you think of which you easily need difficulty back) Be good strengthen learn love your self forgive your self have confidence you're well worth greater that gold dont enable every physique inform you diverse
2016-12-08 12:47:25 · answer #3 · answered by dustman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to your husband he has to mend this fence himself.Yes you will come in and persuade your children but he needs to show remorse and be humlbe enough to ask his kids for forgiveness.He should realise they are no more the toddlers he abandoned years back they have grown to know in this bad attitude, he was never there when they really needed. He needs God's forgivness and his children's instead o apportioning blames. You can only persude them you can't force them and am sure they'ii want to really see that the man is sorry for his misdeeds.
2006-06-26 04:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by mitee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave it totally up to them. My children's father didn't have much to do with them. I remarried when they were small and now I am going through a divorce. My kids are 18 and 15. They have issues with their step-father that has been like the only dad they have known. They are now bonding with their real father. As far as their step-father goes I told them it was totally up to them.
They will work it out for themselves, don't stress over it.
2006-06-26 05:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by destiny6706 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that your kids are grown up and know what they know, let them make their own judgment of their father. As long as you don't put into their heads of what you think of their father, it will be their own thought!!! Many kids now a days go through things like this, its sad but they get through it. Just tell them that you'll ALWAYS be there for them!!!!!
2006-06-26 04:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by CityG82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let the kids make there own decision on that. just dont say anything that might influence ther judgement.
2006-06-26 04:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave the kids alone. what your husband did was wrong. AND YOUR KIDS ARE SMART ENOUGH TO SEE IT UNLIKE YOU.
2006-06-26 04:45:16 · answer #8 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋