should my baby have my boyfriends surname?

Question

I want my baby to have my boyfriends surname and he says no as none of his other kids had his surname until him and his ex wife got married, (i dont know if we will get married). I feel that my baby should have the same surname, am i being wrong in the sense that i insist upon it, i dont like double barralled as it would sound silly with our two names, any suggestions or help!

Answer 1

My children have my partners name and it has never been a problem.

Answer 2

This should not be about what you legally CAN do, but about what will be best for your child in the future. He/she will live with that name for at least 18 years. How will the child feel having a name from someone who is absolutely against it? This doesn't sound like a man who is committed to raising this child, so why establish a serious connection like that between them?

Some people give babies the name of the father hoping it will keep the father in their lives. It does not work! There are lots of moms out there with 4 and 5 kids, all with different last names. How does that help give them a sense of family? How does that help the child respect YOU, the one person who IS totally committed to his welfare?

And what does it mean that "none of his other kids had his surname"? Doesn't sound like a serious, committed dad to me. Be careful.

Answer 3

When my daughter got pregnant she wanted to give the baby the dad`s surname but when she thought about it she decided not to which was just as well as they are not together anymore so my daughter and granddaughter have the same surname which my daughter think`s Is better especially with schooling it saves people asking why they have different surnames

Answer 4

I think that it's your decision as to whether your baby has its father's surname. Traditionally, that is the way that it is done. You, as the mother, have final say as to what the child's name will be, so my advice is to use your boyfriend's surname.
Also, I don't know what your boyfriend's big deal with using his surname is... maybe you could talk with him and explain why it is important for you to use his surname (tradition, family cohesion, etc.) and you may also want to think about the child and what is best for the child. You don't want it to ever think that its father didn't want him/her.
In my opinion, it only makes sense and seems right to use the father's last name.

Answer 5

'Sleek '( second up from me) has echoed some of my opinions on your issue.

I further think you need to ask yourself, What is wrong with you giving the child YOUR surname?
Why do you want to do it? perhaps so as to be in line with conventions?
We are living in a world that's full of gender biased conventions. Your name is as good as your Boyfriend's!

You do not seem to think you have a common future with him, so why insist on giving the child his name? Especially so when he seems very reluctant. As someone up here has said, you do not know what the future holds. You might meet the right person, who is ready to be a father to your child and to commit to marriage. In such a case having your child in your surname will definitely make life easier for your child and you both.

A friend of mine was in a similar situation ten years ago and has never regretted giving her child her surname.

At the end of the day, the decision is yours to make. All the very best

Answer 6

If I were you, I'd give your baby your last name for now. Don't hyphenate it or any of that garbage. If your last name is Smith, make the baby's last name smith. Aren't you suspicious at all as to why none of your boyfriend's other kids have his name? Sounds to me like he's trying to get out of paying child support or something... Besides, if things don't work out for you guys and you DID give your baby his last name, that would be a constant reminder to you of what a jack@ss his father is. If things do work out and you end up marrying, you can always change the baby's name later.

Answer 7

Give the baby your surname then. Is he planning to have his name on the birth certificate? Ask him why he doesn't want the baby to have his surname. Sometimes it can lead to legal stuffs - cos if the baby has his surname then he'll be asked for child support, etc. If it's his baby then yes, the baby has the right to have his/her father's surname.

I don't think it's wrong for wanting his surname on the baby. My son has my boyfriend surname because I don't have a surname.

Answer 8

i made the mistake of naming my son after my ex.we split up 6 months after he was born.now im happily married with another child and had to change his name by deed poll as his real father has nothing to do with him.he now has a double barreled name and he can choose when he's older.not saying that ul split up but maybe u should use your surname and if u get married then change it.good luck

Answer 9

My daughter had her first child before she married and she gave her son her last name and not the fathers. They broke up when he was 18 months old and now and now he is 8 years old. Although he sees his father every other weekend, she is glad that she gave him her last name because she never had to answer the question " Mommy, why is your name different than mine." I don't know if it helps but maybe it is for the best that the baby has your last name.

Answer 10

I find it incredibly strange that he doesn't want you baby to have his surname, there is something else with the story. I would just give the baby your surname and call it a day.

Answer 11

Well if you are absolutely positively sure that it is his then you don't need his approval you can name your baby whateva you like. Does the father have a good job with benefits or something and what is wrong with your name? You are not married and if isn't your future husband what will your future husband think of this? Think of all the pros and cons.