One day my cousin (who lives next door) came over and when he saw all the movies that I have, he asked to borrow some, he said he hadn't had any TV for some time now and would like to borrow some movies for the weekend. I felt sorry for him, so I let him borrow some. This was a couple of months ago and he continues to come over every couple of days, gets about 10 or 12 movies and then disappears for 2 or 3 more days.
It doesn't bother me to let him borrow them but, everytime he comes over he asks for specific movies and then he expects me to go out and buy them so he can watch them, these are movies that I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in and have no intention of buying, I have told him so several times, that I wasn't going to purchase these movies. But he still persists, like he thinks if he aggravates me enough, I'll give in and buy them.
My question, what would be a good way to handle this situation that would NOT cause any trouble between myself and my neighbor.
2006-06-26 03:50:24 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
To answer Quasimodo1957, he's the village idiot! No he doesn't work. I try to be kind to him, tho, because he has an 8 year old daughter that doesn't have much of a father. I do feel sorry for her.
2006-06-26 08:54:03 · update #1
In answer to Thomas F
Yes he does return them, and no I don't get anything out of it. and the only thing that aggravates me is him practically demanding I buy certain movies just so he will be able to watch them and I've repeatedly told him I won't do it. and yet he still persists. I don't want to upset him, it's not in my nature to intentionally insult someone over something so trivial. It's just annoying.
2006-06-26 08:59:16 · update #2
By the way, Thank you all for your advice!
2006-06-26 09:00:26 · update #3
Absolutely do NOT buy any more movies that you don't want. You need to develop a back bone and put your foot down. It is wrong to let anyone treat you in this manner. Doesn't he have a job? Let him know it is unfair to ask you to buy something you have no intention of watching.
Here are 3 referrals for him:
1) Go to a video store.
2) Tell him how to sign up for net flicks.
3) Take him to your library. A lot of people don't realize how many movies libraries have! Plus, at least in my State, you can go to any library in the State and check out movies if you have a card from one town. And if you can't travel - you can get them on interlibrary loan. And this is all free!
Anyway, if you don't have a backbone and you can't say no, I would take him to a videostore yourself or sign him up to netflicks for a month or two as a gift. Based on the way you have been treated, you certainly don't HAVE to do this - but at least you would save money in the long run.
2006-06-26 04:29:29 · answer #1 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that you're trying to save money so you're cutting back on buying more DVDs. Then, gently point out that you have a great collection of movies and suggest a few that you own that maybe he hasn't seen. You never know, even if he thinks he doesn't want to see them, he might actually like them!
If this doesn't work, you might try a small "rental fee" that would go towards purchasing a DVD of his choice - but I'm not sure how much trouble it would cause to start charging a relative money. Then again, you're more or less functioning as his free movie shop.
Sorry I can't think of anything else that might be more helpful. Good luck!
2006-06-26 10:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First question - are the movies being returned? If so, you don't really have that big a problem. If not, you have a bit of work ahead.
If you're not getting anything in return, then you're well within your rights to play dumb or keep saying no. If you want to stop the behavior quickly, you could always scream and stomp, but that would cause a scene.
On the surface this sounds harmless enough, if a bit aggravating.
2006-06-26 12:15:18 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, here goes, if you want the movies back that he already borrowed, make him think that they belong to someone else, then as far as buying the movies that he ask for, you gotta stop that, get a back bone, tell him you can't buy any movies now, i'm sure you have other bills to pay, tell him you are taking a break from purchases, tell him you are saving for a trip or something, i had a neighbor who would ask to use my phone atleast 15 times or more a day, i got sick of it and put a note on my door, DO NOT DISTURB, IT WORKED
2006-06-26 10:58:48 · answer #4 · answered by davionmw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun...your cousin sounds like a dolt. Are you sure that you're related? In the meantime...be blunt and say.."Hey..dummy...do you see a blue and yellow BLOCKBUSTER sign over the door?"
I can't see any feasable way of not insulting this guy. Let's face it. he's either pushing your buttons on purpose or he is truly the village idiot.
By the way. Doesn't he work? Do YOU have time to watch a dozen moves in 2 to 3 days? I'll wager that you don't. I know I haven't that kind of luxury at hand.
2006-06-26 10:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not poor, tell him that he owes you the going rate at Blockbuster for the movies he's borrowed from you, and with that money, you will go out and get some more movies for him to rent from you. He's free-loading off you, and you have to stop this cycle of behaviour. If he doesn't get the hint, tell him you have nothing new, and won't be getting anything else for a while.
2006-06-26 11:28:32 · answer #6 · answered by poohmanchu3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your not interested in those movies, so you won't ever buy them. You don't mind if he borrows the ones you have, but, that's all.Try telling him you don't mean to hurt his feelings, but, thats just the way it is. Suggest to him that there are some good deals out their for him to rent them himself. You could tell him,[when he suggests these movies] that maybe that would be a good birthday, Christmas, or other occasion gift for him and you'll have to remember that.
If it really bothers you, you may have to put your foot down and just be blunt with him.
2006-06-26 11:05:09 · answer #7 · answered by amom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we had a woman where i used to work that had tons of movies and would let anyone and everyone borrow them. she had a list of all the movies she had and if a person borrowed one they would check it out just like a book at a library. no more movies till the ones you checked out were returned. have a limit like 3 at a time. don't purchase any movies you don't want. if he asks for a specific movie just check your list and tell him no you don't have that one. this worked for an office of 50, of which approx. 10 people regularly checked out movies.
2006-06-26 11:02:55 · answer #8 · answered by sunnyca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say NO!!!!! Make up any excuse you want. You have no obligation to this leach to buy or provide films to him. He is taking advantage of you and using you and you should not permit that. Tell him you can't afford to or don't have time any more. Tell him that when he gets some new movies, bring them over for you to watch.
2006-06-26 10:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by jtmaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is taking advantage of your kindness... If by you telling him that you are not going to purchase a certain movie causes any truoble then he is the one to blame... Being kind is one thing but some one taking you for granted is another... I would cut him off from my movie collection all together.
2006-06-26 10:56:35 · answer #10 · answered by pumkin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋