Why do black men and black women seem to have strained relationships with one another?

Question

Black men and women don't seem to respect one another, let alone like each other. Black marraiges seem to more prone to failures with the number one failure being infedelity. Most black women tear down their men and most black men view black women as either stupid sex objects or their mother (someone to take care of 'them")

Why is that?

I read some of your responses and agree with only a few. First let me say that I am not trying to bring down my own race in any way shape or form. I think the sometimes we tend to want to stay in denial about what is "really" going on in our communities. The answer is not to suppress but the answer is to heal and be truthful to ourselves. We can say at least we don't try to front our problems off like they don't exist. This is something I see "everyday" with my own eyes. I never pay much attention to the media because I was taught years ago that they try to depict us in a bad light anyway. No, I am speaking from what I have seen and experienced. I do feel proud of the "few" good marraiges and relationships that I have seen, but, by majority we do fall short and that needs to be looked at truthfully and honestly. I appreciate "everyones" opinion, both black and white. Just thought I would make my position clear.

Answer 1

Well, you know it goes back to slavery.....we were never really giving the chance to learn each other. But that's been over 400 years now and it should have improved but it hasn't.....I guess if we don't make a conscience effort to improve our relationships not only with each other but with all people......it will continue. What you can do is start with you and then with children teaching them to respect one another......and it go from there.

Answer 2

I disagree with your analysis, I know of quite a few strong black marriages/relationships. You can't judge all black relationships by what you see on TV because they more often than not depict our relationships as you speak of. And if you are judging it from experience or something you've seen first hand, then I'd say that is a small handful of what's out there. No, we aren't the Huxtables, the Huxtables aren't even the Huxtables, but I think black marriages have been on the rise over the last few years and I'm happy to see it. I only have a handful of single friends as compared to before. Everytime I turn around someone I know is getting married or engaged. Be encourgaged by this! Yes there is disrespect and discourse in EVERY marriage, white, black, blue, brown and yellow, and if for whatever reasons there are issues in black relationships, why advertise it they way you have done here? We need to COVER each other and our mistakes and help to fix them, instead of displaying them for the world to see. We as black people have enough problems and other races already view us as the bottom of the barrel, why not lift up a good marriage or relationship that you do see and not uncover the foulness that exsists. Sometimes we act like crabs in a bucket and just love to pull each other down. And until we as a people can over-come this syndrome, we'll never have a healty and stong black family base... that long ago used to be our legacy.

Peace.

Answer 3

That is a terrific question. I am a black woman who has come into contact with all sorts of black men. I'm ndont sure if the lack of respect for each other comes from what we see in today's society or from the bitterness of growing up in broken homes. Thank you for asking this question. I am also interested in what the answers are.

I do not think that this question was asked to bring us down. I think this question was asked to make us wake up an realize what we are doing to each other. Yes. There are some strong black marriages that should be celebrated. But, there are a lot of broken relationships and marriages in our race. That's not to say that it doesn't happen in other races but we must first start the healing at home. In no way should we put our issues on display for the world to see but we shouldn't cover them up either.

Answer 4

Morals, ethics and values. - Statistically speaking, there is a lack of respect in the black community. Women disrespect their bodies by having children out of wedlock. Men disrespect their women by not being a father.

I would say most of this has to do with the community, morals, ethics, and values of the general populus. It has nothing to do with the color of a person's skin. It has to do with their up bringing and things that become deamed as culturally unacceptable.

If you look at it this way. Saying 'my babies daddy' doesn't have the stigma in a predominately black society, as it would in a predominately white society.

Even if you listen to rap music, which I do, sex is as frequent as a handshake. There's no emphasis or commitment - it's just an act. I think that's the difference.

For a white woman to get pregnant there's a stigma. For a black woman to get pregnant, it's socially acceptable.

Please do NOT mistake my remarks. I am not in any way, shape or form trying to be offesive. I just state the facts as I see them.

Try to find a good man. They do exist. Make sure that he has good morals, ethics and values.

Answer 5

i truely understand what you are talking about. i see the same thing. for black men are not taught to respect black women. they are very selfish and more than half are just straight ghetto. there are lot of them have never been any where and tend to use people. black men stick to selling drugs, strip joints, and living off women. run from them if you see one like that. a lot of them lie and play games because they dont know who the hell they are. im not making this up ive seen it with my own eyes and i see it everyday. half of them cant even hold on a decent conversation without saying yo-yo-yo. not all black men but majority. so dont listen to these other people. yes true enough all races have problems. but you see more black men living off some women more than any race i know. so what does that tell you

Answer 6

It is clear tat you don't get out much. Your stereotypes are offensive. There is and always will be a strain between genders because we think differently. Maybe the blacks that you are exposed to ahve these issues, but others in every race have their issues. Look at the news. What's up with the white men killing their pregnant wives? That has gotten to be a popular past time. I know a lot of good black marriages. Get out more.

Answer 7

To many black women have been put (or put themselves) in a position of 'taking care of their men'. It starts with Granny and goes all the way down to their mate. Black women have to be in a position where their self esteem level is heightened and they will not accept the norm (even if you see white women do it)
Sisters can be a little 'attitudinal' when it comes to the brothers because black women have allowed them to be lazy, broke, busted, and trifflin. Black women with low self esteem will let ANYONE in their bed just to say "I have a man", but you don't have a man, you have a trifflin brotha that you are layin up with. Then when the brother matures and begins to do well, he chooses a white woman, because she is less eager to make him tighten up, she is just herself (easygoing) and the sister is always trying to improve but due to low self esteem, she gets pushed back. So, black women need to have less of an attitude, more self esteem and make sure she gets a man and not a boy!

Answer 8

The women are somehow always tearing down their man. Whether it be for money, or whatever. Women should be more loving and supportive instead of nagging them to death about a dirty house, dishes, etc.

The couple should work together instead of against eachother. This is why men stray, and women keep taking their frustrations out on their men. Stop having babies with them to try to keep the men around- it does not work.

Other women I know are too quick to give up their goodies. If he is a good man, he will chase you. Let him catch you if you're worth it. Stop nagging, stop hating and love him if he deserves it.

Answer 9

They're no worse off than any one else. Most relationships in the U.S. have the same issues because nobody teaches thier kids respect anymore. Nobody tries hard to make marriages work either. Divorce is too easy so is getting married again.
If one doesnt work just get another.

Answer 10

that's an issues all over the world in all races because you see a few black couples end there relationship[ like that that don't mean all are alike people form all race and color have the same problem