I used to be overtly possesive and i hated myself, my wife also hated it. I decided to stop, jump in the deep end, just like i always do. "darling, I want you to feel free to make love to other women or men. just be carefull, i do not want aids." She went with a girl and then another and then a man, then two and then 3 at a time. I hate it. she's gone too wild. I'm living in fear, fear that she will run off with one of these guys who use her. If i nshow my old possesiveness, she calls me a controle freak. i'm an athletic, well endowed guy and i hate it when she goes off with fat ugly men. she is an ex-super model and too beautiful, i'm in love with a very bad lady and i blame myself, Time to buy a razor or not?
2006-06-26 02:51:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Right. First off DO NOT get the razor out (unless you need a shave)
Your Mrs sounds like a right show off. Being an ex-model shes just looking for reassurance than man AND women still find her sexy. You being possesive isn't healthy for either of you, but the fact that you told her she could go and have sex with other man and woman has pretty much been translated as "go shag other people coz I don't fancy you anymore". You and your wife need to sit down and discuss this matter in a calm manner.
hope everything goes well for you
2006-06-26 02:57:35 · answer #1 · answered by emma2203@btinternet.com 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh dear, it sounds like you've put yourself in a very bad situation.
Try to see it from your wife's view-point. At first you were being posessive so she assumed that you didn't trust her and therefore didn't love her and then from her perspective you suddenly dropped that and said she could sleep around suggessting that you didn't love her because you didn't want her for herself. You have played it all wrong. Now she has lost patience with you and she has decided that she can do whatever she wants and it doesn't matter because you don't have any feelings for her anyway.
You need to stop this right now. You need to apologise profusely for both being too posessive and allowing an open marriage and let her know that you haven't been showing your true feelings for her. If she has any feelings left for you, she will stop sleeping around when you apologise and you can begin to regain each other's trust and form your relationship anew. Make it clear that you will no longer accept the open marriage arrangement. A marriage is between two adults and is pointless and perverse if you allow other people to enter into your most intimate place. There is no way you will be able to rebuild trust whilst either of you is sleeping around. Basically there is no need for the extremes that you have been engaging in. A happy life is lived in moderation with self-control, passion, love and despair all being a part. Try to walk an easier path through the middle, rather than ebing too posessive or too open.
As for killing yourself. Don't. Even if everything goes wrong. Don't.
Death is the end of everything. This is being alive, this is as good as it gets. You will never get a second chance. Life is wonderful gift, use it, enjoy it, don't end it.
2006-06-26 04:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have idolized your wife, you are too in love with her, and she is not in love with you. Sleeping around is not normal, and of course you are going to be jealous.. what is your dream in the future?? To grow old with someone you love? Maybe that someone is just not her. I mean can you imagine sitting in a park bench, all wrinkled up kissing.. in that image are these fat guys who are sleeping with her there?? NO!! Now let me tell you, I am usually completely for working things out, especially during marriage, I am catholic, and believe it is for ever. I must say, though, if I were in your position, even though it's really hard, I would let her go, if she comes back, then she has to adhere to certain "conservative" rules of conduct.. she has to realize that she has a wonderful man, that is willing to be there for her, even though he has to deal with the unbearable. I admire your strength, and your love.. but you have to realize this is a two way street.. and that even though she pledged her love to you forever, she didn't really mean it. Now, apart from all of this, you sound like an attractive guy, and even though you might think there is no one else like her.. that she is perfect for you, you have to face the fact that you are obsessed with a woman you can't have.. at least not completely in body and soul.. You have to analyze how many hours in your relationship you are actually happy.. and come to terms with the fact that YOU have to leave her, forever.. And that you will find someone who will devote her entire life to making you happy, and one day, you will look back, see the birth of your children, see your second wedding day, see your grandchildren, and realize, that it was all just a dark phase.. try talking to a priest, or a reverend, or maybe a psychologist, it will help you deal with it all.. good luck
2006-06-26 03:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by verito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she should go to the cancel. It is ugly.
A friend of mine told me that when she mastrubate, she imagines a fat, ugly man, that can satisfie her.
I don't know why. She says that with a beautiful man is making love and she needs pure sex.
Your wife is beautiful, so probably she wants only raw sex.
But I think that you should find a reasonable limit. Not too possessive, but no deceit.
That can become a night mare, not a marriage.
2006-06-26 03:00:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
I give my wife total freedom, she can do anything and she does. Am i a bad man?
I used to be overtly possesive and i hated myself, my wife also hated it. I decided to stop, jump in the deep end, just like i always do. "darling, I want you to feel free to make love to other women or men. just be carefull, i do not want aids." She went with a girl and then another and...
2015-08-23 08:59:34 · answer #5 · answered by Richmond 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called an open marriage....Did you also take advantage of it? Other woman, or participate in what was going on with her? Sometimes people open doors to areas that they are not really prepared for. If she doesnt love you enough to stop and be willing to be with just you, you have to be prepared to either live with her habits or call an end to the marriage. There is also counselling available, but if she is happy, cant see it working. I wish you the best of luck....
2006-06-26 03:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has total freedom & chooses to be with other people - Well - that shows what state your marriage is in... Tell her how you feel about it - but be prepared to call it a day.. You're not a control freak to not want your wife having sex with other people.. If you show weakness, she will despise you & do whatever she wants.. She will run off with someone unless you do something about it - NOW!
2006-06-26 06:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by want_to_explore_life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may have ler het be this way. but you can change it. I would give her a choice.... either its alll about you or its all about the other people. make her choose and then proceed. If she doesn't want to be faithful to you then you need to move on. Nobody has to put up with that. you may love her but you'll get over it. There are plenty of women that would love you for you and not want to be with anybody else.
2006-06-26 03:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by Coodles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got what you asked for basically. Why would you tell your wife that she can go sleep with other people? Why take that chance and the health risks that can follow?
2006-06-26 02:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't resort to razors. Tell her that her actions are tearing you up inside. If she truly loves you, she'll stop. If she carries on then she's not worth your love and you'll have to finish it with her.... sorry mate, wish I could tell you a nicer solution
2006-06-26 02:56:57 · answer #10 · answered by genghis41f 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋