help me please. i am almost unable to function in my role as caretaker for my mother. i wish i had the nerve?

Question

to end it. i am literally reaching out to strangers-here. i need help. i am angry when i wake up, because i woke up. do you suppose this is hell?what did i do to get here? how do i get out?

Answer 1

Open the phone book or look online for Elder Services/ Social Services - call every number explaining your situation and asking for their resources. Many can be made available free or low cost. Ask a relative if they can stay with your mother for even a couple of hours just to allow you to get out of the house and take a deep breath. Call your city council person/city hall and explain the situation. Check with area churches, community centers, nursing homes (not that you would put her in a nursing home but all these places may have resources for you to check out).

If you invest some time and energy researching your options, you'll feel better rather than feeling helpless and overwhelmed with the situation as it stands.

lastly, you need to see a therapist for your own feelings of anger and depression. DO NOT IGNORE YOUR NEEDS AND FEELINGS. you are so special and while you may not feel it now, you will be rewarded for your selfless care of your mother. this is not hell though it may feel like it now. it is a test and it has been given to you because YOU CAN HANDLE it and you will be all the stronger for it. please take care of yourself and do not give up. find a way to grant yourself the reprieve you need and deserve.

you'll be in my prayers.

Answer 2

Sounds like you need a break! Does your mother have medicare, or medicaid? If so, she may be eligible for assisted living, or a care provider in her home. You need to step back and look at the situation from outside. If she is completely incapacitated, or in a vegitative state, she should be put in a nursing home, if you, or another family member do not have what it takes to take care of her.

There are support groups that can help you out as well, they can help you make the right decision for yourself, as well as your mother. Look around, and find them, you really sound like you are at your wits end, this is when a support group can really come in handy.

If you mother has no money, or a trust, etc. you need to get her some kind of mecial care through the government. At that point, if she is unable to take care of herself, she can be admitted to a nursing home, or skilled nursing facility/Nursing home.

Do yourself a favor, and find a support group asap, they can help with all of the arraingements.

Answer 3

Please don't do anything stupid like trying to kill yourself or your mother. Many states have a program called "Elder Care" who can help you with the day to day things that have to be done. They offer many resources for health care help and it sounds like you need a break from being the only caretaker for your Mom. Check the internet for Elder Care in your state. You'll find tons of information and support groups. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

You have too much on your plate! You will need to take good care of yourself in order to take care of your mother. Carve out time for yourself. Is there any way you can share the care for your mother?

If it's at all possible, go talk to someone who will help you learn to vent your anger in a non-destructive way (non-destructive to yourself, first and foremost!). If you can't change the things you want changed, try to accept them. Acceptance gives you energy, anger is an energy leak.

Hope you'll be okay!

Answer 5

My great aunt has been living with me and my family for a year and a half, it was supposed to be 2 weeks, and it drives us all insane. You need to have someone else take care of her, but still visit. It is hard to live with family or help them 24/7, especially an older family member like you mom. Tr to convince her of a person helping her out and her own apartment or one story house

Answer 6

She's your mother. Did she abandon you when you needed taking care of? It's not easy, but one day she'll be gone and you'll be glad you did what you could. My mother was bedridden with cancer for over a year. You need to get away once in a while to keep your sanity, though. Hire someone to help you a couple of days a week.

Answer 7

Don't worry. Just calm down. Every position in this world is temporary. Now you are taking care of your old mother, someday someone will take care of you ... hopefully.
Material life is hellish. We all get the results of our past deeds, good or bad. To get out of this entanglement you should investigate the science of self-realization. In other words you should find out who you are and act accordingly. This will end all your problems and anxieties. Feel free to write me for further clarification. And don't worry ...

Answer 8

So get out of it by hiring someone who is a professional. That will get you out of taking care of her and just let you check in with the professional as needed. This way you can get on with what you want to do.

Answer 9

If your mom is older and you are unable to care for her as it is too overwhelming...then go to your family doctor and tell him that...it is very common. The family doctor can offer suggestions..perhaps in home extra care...or she might have to go to a special care home.

It is ok to feel the way you do. You need to do something about it...so you can feel better.

Answer 10

is she elderly? have you ever thought of a nursing home? there's always in home health care where a CNA will come to your home to bathe and do some of the tougher tasks for you. it may be something for you to think about because we all need a break from the many stresses put upon us. good luck to you ... i hope everything works out well.