I just feel like I have so little time with her I hate to be the bad guy all the time, then it's impossibile to "follow up" on any rules or discipline.
2006-06-26 02:27:19 · 10 answers · asked by graceman1966 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My son's father and I were also on a schedule with our son and I was going through the same thing you are. We dealt with that for 7 years. As hard as it was, I had to discipline him. The last thing I wanted to do was ground him during our time.
Whatever you read, don't run off and find a girlfriend and get tangled up in that. The last thing your child needs is dealing with a woman in the house who is not her mother. She needs time as do you to get a schedule and routine down.
My son isn't quit as old as your daughter, but made the choice to live with me full time in lieu of his father. He understands that my rules are to better him, not to punish him.
Keep the line with her......she will see you are doing it for her own good as did my son. She is old enough to have real heart to hearts conversations comprehending where you are coming from. Just remember to ask HER questions. Hear her out. She may feel torn between you and her mother. Make her feel comfortable, but that rules are still rules whether you and mom are divorced or not.
The two of you will be just fine.................Good luck
2006-06-26 02:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to have objective guidelines and follow them consistently. The rules don't have to be in writing (tho they could be), but you can't make them up as you go along. It is better to have rules that are "yes" instead of "no". For instance, the single rule "Be courteous when others are speaking" is better than "Don't put on your headphones" and "Don't roll your eyes" and "Don't walk away" and ... etc.
She understands how badly you want your brief time together to "go well" and, being a teen, she will use this to manipulate, to rebel, to test your limits. Refuse to be manipulated. If the rules spell out consequences (sit facing the corner with no amusements for an hour, for instance), then you must not excuse her from that consequence.
Remember, since teens tend to PUSH all the time, you must BE FIRM all the time. That's not being "a bad guy", it's being a good dad.
2006-06-26 03:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the deal with disciplining her? It is my opinion you should think of loving her first. Discipline don't mean a thing if you don't love your children first. Your job is not to be the bad guy. Considering how little time you have with her, you should be thinking of more constructive activities...what about just having fun, watching TV together, going to the movies, and getting a hamburger.
2006-06-26 03:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by moonsister_98 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the discipline, but you probably want to coordinate with your ex. Yes, it may be difficult, but you're parents & you both need to be the grownups in the situation. Your daughter is more important than bad feelings between the 2 of you.
2006-06-26 02:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by kc_brig 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do as u did when you were with your wife. If the discipline is like it used to be, then it might be a little less confusing to go from one house to another with different rules.
2006-06-26 02:38:14 · answer #5 · answered by Kate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, what is your daughter doing that you feel she needs to be disciplined over? It will take time for her to adjust to her parents divorce because it affects the children.
2006-06-26 02:32:14 · answer #6 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a woman around the house...a good girlfriend, a sister, a aunt, a mother...any woman that you love a lot....and learn from her!!! While your daughter is with you you HAVE to be the good AND bad guy, the father AND the mother.
2006-06-26 02:32:44 · answer #7 · answered by Meganrox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's hard to say. Well I guess you can humiliate her in public if shes that bad. But if she just messes up every once and awhile I say send her to room for an hour to think and then tell she why your upset with her. Good luck.
2006-06-26 02:41:42 · answer #8 · answered by docterwannabe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't all you can do is let her know that she disappoints you when she makes bad decisions. and let her know what you expect of her. and talk to her as much as you can. and really listen. she needs her father. but she also knows that you can't be there. so support her. be the best guidance counselor/dad you can be.
2006-06-26 02:33:43 · answer #9 · answered by Curly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello. you should get a mother for her.
2006-06-26 02:37:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋