i have a child who is 9 do you think i should take his dad to the C.S.A. as he as never paid for him at all?

Answer 1

I was in a similar position as yourself. I had split from my boyfriend when I found out I was pregnant. I did inform him that I was pregnant and his response was how do I know the baby is mine. He knew alright - I was totally faithful to him. Any way I decided that if I could I would get by on my own without him. I'm not saying it has been easy but I managed. I did it with the support of my family. If he doesn't want to support his child that's up to him let him keep his rotten cash, the rat. He will lose out in the long run believe me.

It takes more than sperm to be a father and I now regard my ex as a sperm donor, nothing more and nothing less. My beautiful daughter is now 19 and about to go to uni. She knows everything and she has decided that she didn't need or miss him when she was young (you can't miss what you never had) although she did say she was curious about him and that is only natural. I would and will never stop her from finding him if that's what she wants but right now she doesn't.

I have been in a strong and loving relationship for 11 years now and Jenna regards my fiance as her Dad and loves him so much and vice versa, so stay strong you will get there - honestly. I know you probably won't feel you ever will right now but you will.

I went back to education 3 years ago and am now in my 3rd year at university studying for a law degree, so believe me you will get there.

Good luck and stay strong - single mums united!

Answer 2

It took 2 people to make one kid...it takes 2 people to raise one kid. As a guy...I don't know how anyone could ever just run out or never have contact, or pay for his own child. if its your blood, you are responsible for the kid 100%. I would tell the father, that if he doesn't start paying you, whatever you decide is about right (honestly and without being mean about it, cause he has to live too) that you will take him to C.S.A about it. if he refuses, then go...but let him know that the first offer, is a nice offer. And the other people...will drain his accounts and pick his pockets clean. I would say " I need some help financially, but I thought I would call you and ask for it instead of going to the C.S.A because I know how much they will take off of your pay checks. I just wanted to make it easier on you, and less expensive for you." And then try and work out a price. there is the nice way of going about it..that might get you max results. If not....go for it, clean out the bank account

Answer 3

You mean you actually waited 9 years to ask that?You should have been standing at the C.S.A the next morning after you got out of the hospital from having her.Sweetheart,it's time to stop those dead beat dads.You either put them on child support or you put them on life support.I choose the second one.I don't play!!

Answer 4

Depends what you want out of this in the long haul......

You don't say if he see's your 9 yr old on a regular basis. This would effect everything if he does. The CSA will take into account every night your child stays over with your ex, and deduct awards made on this basis.

eg/ if you were awarded £300 pm and your child stayed overnight with your ex 6 nights a month, they would deduct £15 per night from your awarded total.

If you have a good relationship with your ex, and if he provides for your child via clothes, holidays etc... Think twice before getting CSA involved they are nortorious for breaking down communication and relationships between ex partners.

I would suggest you speak with your ex and advise him on your current position, ask for his support . If he is not corresponding with you, then tell him he leaves you no alternative but to involve the CSA.

This is a hard one, I am a single parent with a 10 yrs old, this worked for me babe, so give it a try.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I have a problem with the phrase paid for him....hmmm. But I have a bigger problem if the father of the child is not in your 9 year olds life. The father due own in support of the child. The bigger picture is that the father needs to be in this childs life!

Answer 6

Lots of men do this have baby's then run away and don't support i had a child when i was 17 and lucky for me he support me. We ant together anymore but he still supports his child 6 years on if he didn't support financially i would have taken him to csa because its very expensive bringing up a child. why should one parent pay when it takes two to tango!! Ask him for money first tell him that his daughter needs thinks and if he don't contribute take him all the way!!

Answer 7

i am a woman but it really pisses me off when women who decided to spread thier legs too and be stupid and get pregnant and than when it doesnt work out they keep the child and they want to ruin the mans life as if he ruined their lifes, yet look at their child and say oh what a blessing!!! why dont ya thank this guy for this WONDERFUL BLESSING you wouldnt take the world for and love so much,i mean dont he get any credit, or give him the kid and YOU GIVE HIM ALL YOUR PAYCHECKS. its like you using the child to punish the father for being just the way you women are. grant it their are guys who just walked out on their wives and children but are you perfect and havent you ever made any mistakes and so be the BETTER person instead of making things worst and pray do your best and let life and the universe take care of HIM!!! if your having problems financially, well arnt we all. just do your best.

Answer 8

I heard the C.S.A. is being shut down becaue it didn't work. Absent fathers still don't pay, the ones that do get stiffed.

Answer 9

I would say that depends on whether or not the reason he has never paid is because you've kept him at a distance from your child or it was his own doing.
If the latter - then go get him !
But if the former, then really youve only got yourself to blame.

Answer 10

Depends on how you split and if he has any access. If you don't want him near your daughter but he wants to see her I think you'd have a cheek asking for cash.
If he ran off and left you knowing you were pregnant then take him to the cleaners
Speak to him before going to the CSA - it might save a lot of bad feeling if you can work something out amicably.