Before our daughter, we lost two kids. The first was through birth. She was strangled by the umbilical cord. The next one died 6 days after birth. Doctors said she had inmature lungs. And this one, La' Nina', we nearly lost her too. My wife had to be admitted for 6months in the hospital before she gave birth to her. La' Nina' is a blessing. I love her so much. I breath her. I adore her. Now my wife is 6months pregnant and she is worried i might not love our next child like i love La' Nina'. I assure her that i will love them all equally but sometimes i also wonder. Help me out there. I dont know what to do. She might be right.
2006-06-25 23:08:20 · 19 answers · asked by tomwaterboy 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You'll love her just the same but the first one is always special
2006-06-25 23:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by Gal in red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First.. I'm so sorry to hear about your first two babies. My heart goes out to you and wife.
From what I'm gathering, a lot parents wonder how they could possibly love another child as much as they do the one they have. That's completely normal. Chances are, your wife is feeling the same way and is projecting some of the worry on to you. If it's really bothering you, I'm sure you can find a support group in your area or find a family counselor.
At any rate.. the amount of love the human heart can hold is infinite, so there's plenty of room for more than one kid.. whether it's 2 or 20.
2006-06-25 23:33:43 · answer #2 · answered by Meranath 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Although I didn't go through what you have, I wondered the same thing when I was pregnant with my second. I already had a 5 year old, and my husband had cancer, so we were told we couldn't have anymore due to the surgery and chemo. Surprise, I got pregnant. That was the first thing to hit me, I had a child and had come to terms with only having him. I was so worried, I loved this one with all my heart and was so thankful to have him.
With women, I'm sure it's a little different. We feel the first move and all, so we have more time to get ready. But I worried all through the pregnancy that I could not love another child as much as my first. Boy was I wrong. As soon as I had my second son, I realized that it was possible. I fell in love as soon as I seen him, and I love both my boys so much.
Having doubts and worrying is to be expected, you've went through a lot, I think anyone in your situation would have done the same. But I know, as soon as you feel that baby move, and especially when you see him/her come into this world, all doubts and worries will be removed. You'll love both of your kids with all of your heart. Congratulations on your upcoming new arrival!!
2006-06-25 23:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by ★Fetal☆ ★And ☆ ★Weeping☆ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have one son and onbe daughter, the son being 8 years older than the daughter. I love one just as much as the other, but obviously a parent cannot and should not try to love them in the same way. Boys and girls have different needs, different interests, and different problems in growing up. I also believe it's rather selfish to rear a child alone (no brothers or sisters) to help teach them social skills and responsibilities.
Giving your daughter a sibling to grow up with is one of the greatest acts of love a parent could give her.
2006-07-03 17:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by tee_nong_noy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's only right if you let her be. It sounds as if your wife may be afraid of losing this child. Do you talk "with" your wife? Not at her or to her, but "with" her, Do Not under any circumstance tell her that you will love the other child like La'Nina', Just as much...YES! They are two separate people, they have(will have) their own personalities, and differences. Just Love them UNCONDITIONALLY!! You will find out what I am talking about once the next one comes.
2006-07-05 00:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by john's brat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are anxious after all you have been through. I'm sure you will love this child every bit as much as you do La 'Nina'. There is nothing to do, just try and relax and have positive thoughts. I wish you and your family all the best.
2006-06-25 23:14:41 · answer #6 · answered by Vivreici 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im going through almost the same thing. My wife is scared to have another baby because with our first baby I got deployed to Iraq for the first year of her life and didnt get to be involved with anything.The baby is attached to the mother and I cannot do anything with her. Rescently I was talking about having another one and she said she was scared because she thinks I want another one so I can have the baby love me as much as my first loves her.
What I did and what you have to do is let her know how you feel and also let her know that you will love both of them equally. Let her know that you have the same amount of love for the new one as she does! You need to help her understand that your feelings will be the same no matter what!
good luck and congrats!
2006-06-26 00:22:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jessie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to tell you the true your wife might be right. you might do it unknowingly but we all do it. i have a ten year old and a 3 year old i love them both but people tell me i love the 3 year old more. i have given this a lot of thought too. and i came to the conclusion that its true. yes you love all your children the same but it's different love. to me: my oldest it's like my sister that i never had (i got pregnant when i was 16) this might have something to do with it . then i was 23 when i had my little one and let me tell you it's a whole different feeling. (my oldest always tells me that i love the little one so i try to explain to her that when she was little treated her the same way and that now it's her little sister turn) also I have accused my parents of loving my oldest and my youngest brother more than the middle children. (I'm one of the middle children ) but now that I'm a mother i have kid of begging to understand. i guess the bottom line it's you try your best to give them the same thing and love them both the same but no one it's perfect. you are bound to make mistakes. good luck
2006-07-04 16:28:46 · answer #8 · answered by rxer555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a parent of two children and grandparent of four, I believe you will love your childrne equally. All it will take is one look and knowing it is your very own, you will love it. Naturally, all children have different personalities, so be ready for something different. This makes it all the more interesting and exciting. Good luck to you both.
2006-07-04 04:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be surprised how much love we are capable of. My aunt thought that she wouldn't be able to love her next child as much as she did her first. She had a total of 5 kids and loves them all just as much as the first.
2006-07-04 08:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋