My friends 18yo sister and her 23yo bf OF 2 WEEKS have decided that they want to have a baby. So they are TRYING to have a baby together! She hasn’t accidently fallen pregnant and they’ve decided to keep it, they’re TRYING to have a baby! And if that isn't the dumbest idea in the world, her mother is backing them on the decision! The mother thinks is a GRRREAT idea that she's going to have a baby and get married within the next year, and i think its the biggest mistake this 19yo will ever make in her life! When asked, "Why do you want a baby" her reply was, "I dunno, I just do!". this girl has a dog that she doesn't feed or walk it how does she expect to bring up a child?
I’m so disappointed and disgusted at her mother for condoning this behaviour. Her mother told me that her daughter and her bf have a relationship that is so “pure” and they’re “so in love”. Does this mean that they are fit to be parents? The daughter said to me that she still wants to buy a new sports car...
2006-06-25 22:24:53 · 22 answers · asked by MissQuestions 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
(not a family car) and when I pointed out to her that when she has a baby all her money goes to her child she dismissed it and said she’ll definitely get the car. I can’t get it into their thick skulls that bringing a baby into a 2 week old relationship spells disaster. They should be enjoying eachother now and if they put a baby into the picture in such a new relationship, they will not be able to go away together and enjoy eachothers company without always having a baby there. They should at least get to know each other. They don’t even know where they’re going to live or whether they can live together at all but they’ve decided to put a baby in the middle of their relationship.
2006-06-25 22:26:14 · update #1
I just don’t want her to end up a single mother at 19 and the father’s run off and she can’t go out and meet new people because she’s stuck with a baby.
i know i've said what i can and i know she's going to have the baby anyways but wanted to know that i'm not the only 1 who thinks this is a bad idea
2006-06-25 22:26:23 · update #2
i probably should add this girl is my fiance's sister so she will soon be my sister in law and i know that her having this baby WILL affect me as much as i will distance myself from it it WILL affect me. so that's why i'm so concerned. prolly should have mentioned that
2006-06-26 00:45:36 · update #3
Wow that is sooo messed up on so many fronts.
It is so hard to watch someone be h*ll bent on messing their life up,but to know a innocent will be brought in to this is truly sad.
I cannot imagine what kind of Mother this woman is who would find it ok that her daughter be having a child with a guy who she has only known for 2 weeks,and yet I am thinking if the Mother were any kind of a Mother her Daughter would know better than to do something so selfish.
This girl sounds incredibly immature,and the guy is obviously going to say whatever he can to get laid as often as he can,but it's guaranteed once that baby is born he will be gone.
You are right to voice your concern,but unfortunately it sounds as though she is going to do what she wants anyways and some poor child is going to be brought into this world without the benefit of a responsible,mature,loving and stable couple as Parents but rather just 2 people who had s*x.
You did all you can..but sometimes we just have to let go.
2006-06-25 22:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is a bad idea.
A suggestion: Since she is so adamant about having this baby with her 2-week boy friend, why not try to find someone in need of a baby sitter. Let her spend the day with a child under 2 years old (supervised) and see how long she handles it.
Also remind her of how long that little life she's planning to have is going to be in her care. Maybe someone can give you an estimate on how much money a baby will actually run in the first few years and onward.
She needs a reality check and he needs a vasectomy.
2006-06-26 05:34:12 · answer #2 · answered by Mysia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell yes that girl is stupid..baby's are expensive and a huge responsibility...sounds like that couple needs to grow up....and yes your probably right about her having to take care of it all by herself,she'll probably be a single mom on assistance..cause she hasn't thought this out At All!!!Thats crazy that her mom would approve of that when her and her b/f have only been dating for 2 weeks,that is insane..but i kind of know what your going through right now...but instead of talk about babies one of my friends only been dating a guy for 2weeks and she's talking married and moving in w/him..i was like slow down..i didn't get listened to either so don't feel bad.
That girl doesn't sound mature enough to have a kid and i hope her mom has to help her raise it..(why would a parent be THAT irresponsible)She'll never have that sports car if she gets the baby...Unless she's a selfish person anyways..i totally think that is a wacked situation!
2006-06-26 05:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very sensible young lady,
and I agree with everything you wrote.
Totally crazy situation, especially the mother's approval .......
guess she likes the idea of spoiling new grandbaby ?
Sad part is as much as you are concerned
for your friend's possible future predicaments,
you can't do much more to control her actions
than just offer realistic advice, then hope her
lovestruck heart doesn't cloud her judgement
beyond the ability to make logical decisions.
You seem like the type that won't take an
"I told you so" attitude if things turn out bad for her,
so just continue to be a good friend to her
& offer your support as much as you can.
2006-06-26 05:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! Thats CRAZY!! I would like wait a couple years to make sure thats the right guy for me and that I have enough money to get what we want and are able to afford a child!! I would just telll her that she needs to rethink the idea and tell her that she should be wtih a until she's like 20 and then have a baby! But I would just come down and enjoy life while you can!
2006-06-26 05:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by snowangel03ak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound like a lot of emotional issues going on here, it sounds like the mother and the daughter are maybe a little slow in maturity . Sounds like the mother has as much growing as the daughter.
But like a responder before me has said, you have voiced your thoughts, and it is their decision.
Pray for them all and if the girl becomes pregnant, (I am a little confused in part of your question, is she now pregnant or still trying to get pregnant, you say she hasn't accidentally fallen pregnant and they've decided to keep it, they're TRYING to have a baby!) pray for the baby especially, and be there for your friend as much as possible, or as much as you allow yourself.
2006-06-26 05:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by Cherokee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right: this is an IDIOTIC idea.
She should date for longer than 2 weeks, get engaged, and get married first. If all those things actually happen, THEN she can have a baby. Who says the bf will want her once she starts throwing up and getting all emotional?
And the mother is a moron for supporting this.
I suggest you show her all the answers you get here. (Just don't show her the question.) Tell her you are concerned about her.
2006-06-26 05:31:38 · answer #7 · answered by Victoria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not the only one . But your heart is right to worry about the baby and them as well .Tell your parents they should be very proud that they have a daughter that has gaols and responsibilities in order .Or hug them and tell them thank you ! We can't answer for them and the mom may be lonely and this is her reason for agreeing ? Each day we here of foster paerents needed .OR ABUSED child , I agree with you and hope you keep your head straight always .
2006-06-26 06:41:27 · answer #8 · answered by Fairy Tale 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her take my 5-year-old son with ADHD and my spoiled rotten 2-year-old daughter for one week and I will bet you after 2 days she will be paying me to take them back, dump her boyfriend and become a lesbian, and 20 bucks says she'll still tie her tubes after that. Usually, they won't tie your tubes in that situation, but if that was truly the case, she would probably find a way to perform self-surgery on herself with a disposable razor in the bathtub and just remove her tubes herself.
But, yeah, the only way I can find it that mom is actually serious and thinks that this is a good idea, is if she has been buying her crack cocaine for only 50 cents a line for 20+ years. Then I will excuse her for this stupidity.
No, really, I won't mind them raising my taxes to get more money to support this child after being put on welfare after mommy and daddy get into a heated argument about leaving the toilet seat up, or foster care having to take care of the child.
P.S. Another 20 bucks says he's an ugly doctor or lawyer.
2006-06-26 05:51:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The idea of getting child may not be said to a trash always. It is like giving bitrh to someone within yr body.
However, the age and the relationship described by you appear to be not acceptable to you. But it may not be the same with them, as consenting adult.
So watch out and offer healthy counselling, instead of preaching.
2006-06-26 05:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋