This will be a weird question, please help if you know;?

Question

I am 34 years old, and have been through a lot of problems in my life. For instance, had 11 surgeries in 1 year after a horrible car accident, horrible in-laws, came from the different continent...
My problem is that I think of negative things constantly, and I am so TIRED of myself, that I just want to disapear.If I was not afraid of afterlife, I would easily kill myself. It is not even depression any more, I am just tired, tired, tired of life. How am I suppose to live for another 30-35 years? I am in pain every day, on the top of everything, I have scars on my body that I can not ever go to the beach,ever wear short sleeves, I did not have any luck getting pregnant, the only friend I had, went back to Europe, and I miss her...Can I take some medication, should I talk to the shrink, should I ...What should I do? Help!

I would just like to thank all of you on your kind words. I feel overwhelmed. Thanks.

Answer 1

First off, breathe....Wow, I am really sorry for the pain you are going through right now. Life isn't easy, and I really should have paid more attention to my mom when she told me to enjoy my childhood, cause being an adult is not so much fun.

You are not alone. I have buried both of my parents after long illnesses where I helped them out the last few years of their lives by living with them and being their nurse. After that pain was over, I thought things would finally be better, and a year later my husband had a heart attack. The next year he was hospitalized for an infection. And then when things finally looked better, he was hit by a car and was unable to walk for almost 9 months. He is still in physical therapy and can barely walk. Prior to all of this, we have been trying to conceive since 1997 (no luck and lately hard to even try). And as far as the scarring goes, I was a perfectly healthy beautiful 17 year old (a long time ago) and got the chicken pox. I ended up with horrible scarring all over my back chest and arms and will also never be able to wear a swimsuit or shortsleeved shirt again without being self conscious (ie-I never even try). This may also have caused my infertility.

Aside from all of this suck, and when I was in my darkest place thinking thoughts like yours, my husband and I took a brief one week vacation together. No cell phones, or visits to friends. The only expectation was to have fun. It was truly life affirming.

To fight depression, try to eat healthy, get plenty of sleep, drink 8 glasses of water a day, and spend a little time everyday in the sunlight. Talk to your doctor. If the pain is physical, they have methods to reduce it. If the pain is emotional, there are prescriptions and therapy available. This will not solve your problems, but help you understand how your mind works so that you can stop your depression response.

It is not easy, and my heart goes out to you, but try to spend more time focusing on the positive and things will seem a little better. You still have your mind, and from the sounds of it your ability to move around freely. Is there something you have always wanted to do? My something was photography, so I took a class. It was only one hour a week, but it was nice to spend one hour a week on myself for a change. Perhaps get away and visit your friend in Europe? Spend some time spoiling yourself.

Answer 2

First thing to do is find a good friend to talk to. Someone that makes you feel good about yourself. Yes, counseling might be a big help. Find some hobbies that you like. As far as the beach goes, if anyone has a problem with scars, then thats there problem. My ex wife is a burn victom, and that didn't stop me from fathering a child with her. Time has a way of healing all things. Just take one day at a time. Things will get better. You'll see. Eventually the tired feeling will start to lift like a dark cloud. Good luck.

Answer 3

Yeah medicine might help you fight the despair. The scars are probably not that bad and who cares what others think of them go to the beach it may take some of that stress away. Killing your self is the easy way out and its not fair to those around you. Not only that it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You say your in pain I'm assuming you are also talkin about physical pain you can also get meds for that but with that comes addiction. You may not believe it can happen to you but a friend of mine never even did drugs then she had to have some surgery's, they put her on pain meds she became addicted to them and that turned into a heroin addiction. So the pain meds I would think long and hard about because that can happen to anybody. At the same time it can ease your pain tremendously. I truly hope your mental state will turn around I do think you should see a shrink like you said not because your crazy but because he or she can prescribe something to make your days happier ones.

Answer 4

Find someone to talk to. It doesn't have to be a counselor. Just find a friend. If you want, you can im me, people tell me I'm a good listener. Everyone needs a friend. I've been through depression before, so I know what you're going through. I understand about the scars as well. Don't be afraid to wear short sleeves n go to the beach and things like that though. It just ruins your life. Even more. Just have self confidence. Hang out with people who give it to you, not take it away. If they take it away from you, then their opinion shouldn't matter anyway cause they're just stupid.

Answer 5

I can understand how you may be feeling. I have went through alot in my life also (alcoholic and druggie parents, then they died, I was in a wreck and have scars all up and down my legs and I'm a 17 year old female so it sucks not to feel pretty) and was in a very deep depression. I just finally got tired of everything and wanted to end it all, but I was afraid of going to hell which is the only thing that kept me from not just ending it. I went to see a therapist but he did nothing but annoying me, pretending to know what was going on when he didn't. In my case, I just eventually grew out of it. I'm sorry I can't be more specific, but I really just don't know how I did it. All I can say is just to hang in there and things will get better, even if it don't seem like they will.

Answer 6

I am 34 also. I have had more than 50+ surgeries in my life. No lie. This includes 3 kidney transplants. I feel the same way....honestly. The only reason I'm still here is my family. I also have scars and never wear short sleeves or shorts for that matter. Maybe you'd like to talk to me sometime, send me a message if you'd like. You just have to remember that no matter how many lousy, good for nothing, crap days you have, that the good days are worth it.

Answer 7

Everyone has trials in thier lives like the ones you described and its it is usually a matter of when things will go south not if. Feeling sorry for oneself never helps or solves a particular problem in fact i find it often worsens the situation. What will help is talking aloud to a sympathetic ear, you mentioned a girlfriend call her, if she's a true friend she will be there to listen to you about everything that you see as a problem. I assume you have close family, confide in them as well for these are the times for you when family matters most. I hope this advice helps and remember its easier to focus on the negatives because the positives are easy to overlook.

Answer 8

I would definatley suggest seeing a counselor that could prescribe you some anti-depressants. It sounds to me like you're very depressed. Another idea would be to get involved in a church. I know it may sound alittle stupid, but once you make some friend and become a "part" of the atomosphere the support they give you will be soooo wonderful. If all else fails, just remember all the people out there that are dying of cancer, aids, and other illnesses. They would probably give away everything they own and more to have your life. Just as long as they had LIFE. It could always be worse, trust me.

Answer 9

Well first of all I don't think you need a baby at this point. You really need to talk to a pyhciatrist and get some relief. You can ask your doctor to prescribe you some vitamin E oil to get rid of the scars. also use vitamin E oil. Prayer works also becuz the lord knows your heart. Many bad things happen to us for different reasons but it only can get better. After everything goes down there is no other way but up! keep your head above sea level and get some physc help fast. Talking to someone helps!

Answer 10

I feel for you tremendously, and I don't feel that I am qualified enough to even answer this question. I guess I just want you to feel heard because you are, and I hate hearing of people feeling the way that you do. Do seek professional help, there is nothing wrong with that. There would be something wrong if you don't. This does not make you any different than who claims to be the happiest person in the world. (Not that there is such thing)
No one should have to feel as lonely as it sounds you are or insecure.
My heart goes out to you, and feel free to e-mail if you wish to speak further. Sometimes speaking to a stranger somehow feels easier.
:)