Ive been with the same girl since I was 15, im 21 now. We just had a baby boy last November. We just split up the first week of may. Now I know u say that the easiest way to get over someone is to keep busy and do different things but it is harder for me. The past six years this girl has been my world, we talked about marriage and I even bought her a ring a few yrs ago. When I wake up in the morning shes the first thing I think about and when I go to bed at night shes the last thing I think about. I think about her all day everyday and I cant get her out of my head. Its especially hard for me when we have to trade for visitation with my son and actually seeing her. The worst part is she acts like it doesn't even bother her and shes just moving on with her life without any second thoughts or doesn't care how I feel. All this after six yrs in a relationship and a son together. I need any advice from anyone that might help me out in my situation. Thanks for your help.
2006-06-25 19:35:12 · 17 answers · asked by kgsm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's cruel, isn't it? Sounds like my divorce. Stay busy, maybe a second job, or go back to school. Get some counseling, talk to people. Eventually seeing her when it's visitation time will get better, maybe you can talk and have closure some day, or become friends. The burn will diminish, but as you heal, a little will stay with you the rest of your life. If you should get depressed get help, don't suffer needlessly. Good luck, you are not alone.
2006-06-25 19:51:02 · answer #1 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you spilt up? I think sometimes when you are with someone at such a young age, sometimes one grows up faster then the other. Also as you get older your views may change & sometime not at the same time. I think it is so sad that you spent so much time with her & now you have a son, who one day will wonder why? Is she willing to talk to you & has she ever thought about trying again? It must of been something really bad for her to just turn her back on you. Is there anyway you can win her back. Also sometimes as sad as is it sometimes we love more than we are loved. If there is no hope for you both, then you really need to concentrate on your son. He is a baby & he needs both of his parents, whether you are together or not. Maybe one day watching you being such a good dad she will change how she feels. I hope things work out for you all.
2006-06-26 02:56:13 · answer #2 · answered by PrimaDonna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody said it was going to be easy to get over someone. You've only been split up a little over a month. Give it time. And don't listen to people who say that you can get over someone by keeping busy. That just temporarily avoids the problem. What you need to do is sit down and actually look at the reasons you two broke up. Are they as important now as they were in the past? If in a couple months you are still feeling like this, sit down and talk to her. You may need to air your feelings to get closure.
Breathe, relax, it's going to take time, especially for a relationship that lasted that long.
Good luck!
~Pancake~
2006-06-26 02:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. I was with my ex for 3 years. She left me and our 9 month son. After the devorce, I was devistated. I started haning out with a few friends in the same situatuion as me, and through talking and hanging out, we all helped each other get over it. We even eventually started going out to bars and picking up girls together. Now, here I am 6 years later, and happily divorced. I have my son full time, and thinks to finding others to talk to, I have a life for a few nights a month. I been there, so I know how it feels to have someone say that time heals all wounds. Well, time will at least help it scab over. Trust me. When the feelings do start to finally fade, go get laid. good luck
2006-06-26 02:46:48 · answer #4 · answered by lightningviper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son's father is going through this. We were together for eight years, and we have a son. I left him on May 1. If he wasn't at work, I'd think you were him!
Yes, bury yourself with things, spend time with your son, maybe take a couple of classes. If you're busy, you can't think about her. Put yourself in a good position for your son, he needs you. It's gonna be hard on her if you're constantly bringing up your feelings and trying to get her back. She may get frustrated and not wanna deal with you, that's how I'm feeling now.
Hope things go well, if you need to talk let me know.
2006-06-26 02:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by mizz_kitty_79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tough one. Was she your first? If so, I too know it is hard to loose your first love. It was over ten years ago for me, but I still recall all the memories. She had a two year old girl. No she wasn't mine, but I loved her the same. The only advice I can give is "Time will heal all Wounds".
Is working things out with her out of the question? Somehow you two going to seek out counseling? Good luck and if it doesn't work out, Raise you little one with all the love you can give.
2006-06-26 02:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by rhicks1121 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you still have a lot of love for her. Maybe she just needs a little space. Be kind and attentive whenever you chat. You two have a child together, and that will be a bond forever. So maybe there is still someway to work things out. Maybe a counselor can help.
2006-06-26 02:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Jim G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's got to be tough, why don't you just ask her, talk to her calmly and please no fights. What can happen?, or write her a letter because I find it easier to express my feeling in writing. Maybe she is just acting tough like YOU are too. Or maybe she really wants to move on, figure out what problems you had and first see if they are fixable but never let her step on you because then it just becomes a viscious circle. Hope everything works out for you, BEST WISHES!!!
2006-06-26 02:42:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's tryin to hide her feelings about you this girl really loves you so much and you love her you need to tell her how you feel and that you need her.. You need to provide for your son and have a loving family there will be ups and downs but the end will be a straight path
2006-06-26 02:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by friendlygurl9009 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen buddy.... i can understand how you feel..... its really very tough for someone to forget a relation like this... you cannot just do that... you have loved her and will always love her....
the relation which you have established at a very young age was very immature... she might have just took it for sex and pleasure.... but you took it for love... she ignoring you means tht either she has got someone who is more sexually attractive or you have a fault in yourself... in terms of attitude or something...
you have to talk to her man... but talk to her as a friend... not as a lover, and not as a father of her child.....
you have to talk it over and ask as to what was the possible reason for her leaving you and your child.... you have to find out a reason... if the reason is anything to do with your attitude or something, change it.......
the problem could also be that she is not finding a spice in her life... she might be adventourous and wants some change... so she is lookign for new options... try to talk it out and if given another chance, keep the sex life and romantic life spicy....... you have to try out new things. you have to make her feel very important.... even though she becomes angry, you have to calm down and try to win her with love...... dont panic, just give out all your love to her...... make her feel that she is the priority one in your life.......
good luck
2006-06-26 02:45:22 · answer #10 · answered by mitr_hamesha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋