baby daddy problem?

Question

for those of u saw my question today,u misunderstand me.i have a daughter that is 16 and she is her father only child.just 5yrs ago i put him on childsupport because he wasn't doin the rite thing.i get 120 a wk,reminds u ,i never call and harass him for nothing as far as doin extras.i am a hard working parent and single.also he don't do extras anyway.no xtmas no b-day or nothing so i bought me a new car and gave my daug my other car.all i did was aks him can he help me fix it up for her and he just went off.saying that she never call nor she hasn't call for fathers day.and i always tell her to call ur dad but being a teen u really don't think about it sometimes,but he never calls her ,his aunt lives 2 mins. away from us ,so when he comes down my daug don't see him and that makes her so upset so wat should i do

Answer 1

Your daughter is old enough to understand that you do not get something for nothing. She want to be mad at him, she wants to ignore him... that is fine, but then she cannot expect him to jump with his checkbook when she wants something....and neither can you.

Yes, $120 a week is not a lot of money, but you were not married to this man. Did he even have any relationship with this child all these years before you got onto him to start child support?? If they do not have a relationship, you cannot expect him to give freely more than the court has decreed. If you want more, you will need to take him to court.

Also you said when he comes down he does not make an effort to see her. Seems they are both at odds with each other. Might just need to back off with trying to make something more of what they have... which is just blood.

Some men just don't know how to be a responsible parent or they don't want to... same goes for some mothers (not meaning you, you sound like you care every much and are trying hard to make things work).

Answer 2

you cant make a 16 year old or a daug do anything. 120 a week isnt bad, I dont know if I would press your daug for more because he might stop paying. I would look elsewhere to get the car fixed up.

Answer 3

You can't make him DO anything.

$120 a week sounds NICE to me. I barely get $250 a month.

From now on, don't harass him. Don't 'aks' him for help. Don't your daughter when he is coming to town to visit her Aunt.

Let her make the decisions about her dad. If she has a car, she is old enough. Let HER call him and ask him to fix up the car. It's a 2 way street and they both sound stubborn.

She says "He don't call me on my bday. Why should I call him on Father's day?" And then gets upset when he doesn't come to see her.

He says "She don't call me on Father's day. Why should I call her on her bday?"

There is NO WAY to break this cycle unless one of them reaches out. If your daughter can't do it on the phone -have her write a letter to him telling him how important he is to her and how much she would like to spend time with him. If he makes no effort to respond to that - then she knows she truly has done everything she can.

~Maxie

Answer 4

Ask him why should she make an effort if he is not. 120 a week doesn't even keep clothes on the back of a teen. Have you tried to take him in for a raise on child support? You can do that every two years. I know you really don't want to stir the pot but you got to do what you can do sometime.

Answer 5

Somebody has to make the first step since it doesn't look like it'll be him, and ur daughter doesn't seem to want to make the step either. His aunt seems to be the line between them try to talk to her and see if there is any way you could the two of them together, that way they both have made the first step and neither of them have. Then go from there hopefully after seeing each other one of the two will be compelled to keep in contact.

Answer 6

try to see if you can go back to court to raise the child support payments. he needs to help out more now that you have a teenager with a car.he needs to help with the insurance and helth insurance just in case something happens. if your daughter doesnt want to talk ot him then thats what she wants, can change that. that is her dad and he could make an effort and call or visit or do ther things to help her or see her. dont feel bad , you are doing all you can, you did the right thing by calling him and asking him but she should have done it, you dont have to ask him for anything let her do it, if she doesnt want to then she doesnt want it. if he is having a heart attack for helping pay for the car, then go back to court and make him pay more.good luck.

Answer 7

SWEETIE YOUR DAUGHTERS DAD IS A DEAD BEAT! A NO GOOD FOR NOTHING ASSH*LE!!!!!!! HE'S WORTHLESS, SO YOUR DAUGHTER JUST NEEDS TO REALIZE HE'S WORTHLESS AND KEEP ON TAKING THE CHILD SUPPORT UNTIL SHE'S 18. OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET ANYTHING ELSE FROM THE BUM.

I KNOW HOW HARD IT MUST BE FOR YOU. I'M GLAD YOU'RE GETTING HIM FOR CHILD SUPPORT THE FREAKING BUM! YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S HIS LOSS! WHY THE HELL SHOULD YOUR DAUGHTER CALL HER LOSER FATHER ON FATHERS DAY? WHAT KIND OF A DAMN FATHER HAS HE BEEN TO HER? HE DOESN'T DESERVE CALLS!

DON'T MAKE HER CALL HIM AND YOU NEED TO REALIZE WHAT A LOSER HE IS AND NOT BOTHER WITH HIM ANYMORE, JUST WRITE HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND ACCEPT THAT YOU WON'T GET ANYTHING EXCEPT THE CHILD SUPPORT YOU GOT COMING TO YOU. YOU'LL HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE IF YOU WRITE THAT JACKA$$ OUT OF YOUR LIFE!

ONE DAY WHEN THE LOSER IS ALONE, HE'LL WISH HE HAD HIS DAUGHTER BY HIS SIDE, HE'LL WISH SHE LOVED HIM! GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE. AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. YOU DON'T NEED HIM. YOU CAN BE YOUR DAUGHTERS MOTHER AND FATHER.

Answer 8

You need to remind him that your girl is his daughter too,and if he has some self respect he will get the idea if not try looking for somebody else you are just 35 you still have some sex appeal don't you?try to make him fell ashamed for what he is doing,i don't know him SO he may be different from the person i am imagining,best of luck.....

Answer 9

well what did u expect all he does is pay support he don't make an effort to call so don't force your daughter to call him if she chooses she will.

I think u should just go on exactly how u been but don't ask him for nothing u obviously have be doing it by ur self u can keep on
u might be able to take him back to court to see if you can get more money

Answer 10

They both need to make the effort to spend time together. And you as her parent needs to insist that she make the effort. If HE doesnt respond to HER efforts, then I would no longer insist that she continue. Do whatever needs to be done with the car for your daughter. The real problem is WHO will pay for the gas and insurance on that car?