My gf of 4 1/2 years wanted a break...fine. We have been seeing each other from time to time over the past few months, but still no real change. Over that time I have grown to realize that I do want to be with her, but also understand that I do not love her for the past, I love her for the girl see is right now and I do want to be with her. Our encounters lately have been fun, full of laughter and flirting, but Im stuck on what to do.
Ive been sweet to her...I have suprised her at work wih coffee ect...I want to show her that I am still a good guy and I believe that with a little effort this can work and be awesome. But I cant help but wonder, why is the door being left open if she doesnt want to be with me? Why does she flirt and contact me? Why does she flaunt her body in front of me?
I figured out pretty quick that the more I push the more she has to pull back. Is there any way I can let her know how I feel without seeming needy and desperate?
2006-06-25 15:54:18 · 10 answers · asked by dutch1584 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She's like a drug...I want it so bad, but after I swear i will never do it agian. I dont want to contact her but I want her to know that i truly do love her and it is not just a ploy to stop my lonliness. I dunno, real messed up... I wish I had kept my distance in the begining
2006-06-25 16:06:02 · update #1
If you have dated 4 1/2 years and you have been seperated for a few months with no sign of change, it is obvious to me that is actually over. Do you know why she needed a break? Was it something you were repeatedly doing or not doing correctly? The only reason she keeps in contact with you is for security purposes. She needs assurance that she was good to you. The next time she arranges a date or wants to talk, get the facts. Inquire on the nature of her call or visit. Let her know that you are ready to date again and that because you have so much love in your heart for her, that you would prefer to be with her. Do not put it out there that you will be seeing other people. That is not her business if you are not dating.
Your relationship, though lengthy, was not very good. She probably realized you will be better off as friends. When a woman can call if off, her feelings have surely down spiraled.
You mentioned that you love her now and not from back when. Is that the problem? She needed you to love her then. Did you hurt her?
Talk to her about it, openly and honestly. If she says no, move on and do not continue to make yourself readily available. Stop the surprise visits and other sweet things you do.
Set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be!
2006-07-08 01:32:04 · answer #1 · answered by pretty_brown_eyes 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suggest you call her up once; tell her there is something very important that you wish to speak to her; when she agrees; have a heart to heart talk; let her know exactly how you feel; without holding anything back; ask her point blank, how she feels about you, what she expects from you and this relationship; give her some time to think upon, if needed; this will definetely give you a picture about what exactly she wants,you will also get to know, where exactly you stand in her life; ............
above all , be prepared to go your own way, if that is what she wants, for that is the only way you can assure your happiness and sanity
I wish you all the best, and good luck
2006-07-08 08:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by dark and beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK well I am in the same situation but with my husband. The reason she is doing it is because she wants something to fall back on. She ofcourse probably still loves you but at the same time she could feel a lot of pressure and feel trapped....not a good feeling...trust me. You should do little sweet things every once in awhile and if she pulls back give her the space she needs for a lil bit...a few days or whatever and then inch your way back in. You need to talk to her and ask her if she has ANY feelings for you and just make sure she isn't using you though. Good luck.
2006-06-25 23:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by Joanna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 4 and half years i think you need to talk about it with her. if things are going great then you might not want to mess it up. just let things play out and see how they go. if you are still flirting with each other then say something like " Once you are ready to fill that space back up, i better be the first one you call"
2006-06-25 22:58:56 · answer #4 · answered by average joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that u should write some love letters saying that u would like 2 take her out some time you can tell if you and her have something if the answer is no then u should try 2 move on.
2006-06-25 23:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by SHAUNDRA M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear the saying "He's not that into you" Well she isn't that into you. Relationships are hard and yours seems a little one side. Get out and find someone else, it's tough but someone will appreciate all your doing and in return do the same for you.
2006-06-25 23:02:23 · answer #6 · answered by wisehahn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take things slow, thats obviously what she wants right now.
2006-06-25 22:58:45 · answer #7 · answered by Humor me.. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just continue dating, she'll eventually come around if she wants you back.
2006-06-25 22:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by They Love ME......... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
complex stuff do a search into the search engines that will might help
2014-06-16 00:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't do anything, just go with the flow, let her lead the dance
2006-06-25 22:57:38 · answer #10 · answered by butchell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋