I haven't seen my dad since I was really little and now hes moving back to town What should I do?

Question

It's not really his falut that he left, but its not really my falut that I don't really know him. Should I get to know him?

I am now almost 16 and he left when i was 3weeks before my 2ed birthday. Its been almost 14years

He is trying to contact me and my mom says do what i want im big enough to make my own discision

Thank-you to all that have left a comment [most wont see this but im hoping a few will come back to check on it] you have all helped!

how do i approch the subject? I haven't seen or talked to him for years!

Answer 1

take it one day at a time,hon I am sure he is scared too! The past cant be changed but you have control of what happens to you, and how far you feel comfortable in seeing your Dad.

First off , meet him in a comfortable, fun place, like a zoo, so if you dont know what to say at the time, you can always talk about some animal. things will naturally come around to the two of you

Give it a chance, anger can destroy many things, new memories, you can keep forever and be honest but be understanding too good luck hon

Answer 2

I know what your going through I was 15 the first time I seen my dad since I was like 3. The first few minutes will be weird, but I think you should at least meet him. If he turns out to be a bad person you can always distance yourself from him, but what if he turns out to be a really great dad? you wouldn't want to miss that would you? Just don't go into it expecting anything, you don't want to get your hopes up and then get let down.

Answer 3

I have a similar problem. My dad and mom split up when I was 6 and my dad was not involved in my life (financially or otherwise). I spoke to him when I was 15 and 18 just for closure. It helped me some.

I would talk to him (what could it hurt?) and find out about him. You guys might find some common ground. Your mom is very cool to leave it up to you and not try to influence your opinion (my mom did the same thing and I found out what a jerk my dad was on my own). Good luck.

Answer 4

The question is.. do you want to meet him.. I think if you decide to. dont expect to much at first.. My son has not seen his dad since very little too. It was really hard on him for years...it effected him in so many ways. but now he has come to the point
to be thankful for the man that has come into his life.. that he looks at him as his Dad.. (my sons is better off without his)
this may not be the case for you...If your Dad wants a relationship
with you.. I think you should go for it.. better now then later.. wish you best of luck.. but take slow and do it with no expectations..

Answer 5

Depending on your age and whether or not it's ok with your mom, I'll answer this.

If you are an adult, you should try to meet up with him and get to know him. You can then make the decision on whether or not you want to continue a relationship with him.

If you are a minor, you need to ask your mom if this is ok, then do the same thing. I suggest you talk with your mom, but I suggest that she put aside her personal feelings of your dad, and encourage you to get to know him. Good luck!

Answer 6

I think you should meet first for lunch. Then talk to him. If it goes well, you can continue to communicate with him. But you have to make the first step. There probably was a lot of reasons he left. iI your mom doesn't mind, you should find out why?

You don't want to have any regrets since this is one time he is trying to communicate with you. Just take it one day at a time and it should work out for you.

Answer 7

You should be the one to extend your welcome first and not wait till he comes to you. You never know what the circumstances were when he left so you have to go to him and let him know that you are more mature and can handle what comes your way from him. It is not just you that missed out on a father, but him that missed out on raising his child, watching his child learn how to walk, talk, and other things. Let him know that you intend to be part of his life and wish that he could be part of yours.

Trust me you would want to do that. I learned that a little to late, when I finally got around to give my dad a call it was too late he had been dead for 8yrs and I never knew now my children will never know how their grandfather was when he was alive.

Answer 8

Oh my...you're 15 and pregnant after already having had an abortion? do not you learn out of your blunders, woman? a minimum of you have found out adequate to not have a 2d abortion, thank God. And has no person defined STATUTORY RAPE to you? Statutory rape ability which you're actually not allowed to consent to having intercourse decrease than a undeniable age and 15 is decrease than the age of consent. and because the two your companions have been adults (exceptionally the 27 12 months old), they'll circulate to penitentiary for having intercourse with you. i understand you suggested your mom and father won't document the guy yet with any luck the two the healthcare expert or the nurse looking after your being pregnant will document him, as ought to have the abortion medical institution you attended. And any of your friends or instructors might desire to document this occasion too. Now will you get in any difficulty in case you lie approximately who the baby's father is? sure! and it is generally actual shown via a courtroom-ordered dna attempt that the guy you declared to be the daddy became not. And that 27 12 months old guy...he will sue you and your mom and father for an excellent kind of funds as he might have long gone to penitentiary considering you lied and suggested he became the baby's father while he became not. you may probable finally end up in juvenile detention or a locked team residing house considering your mom and father are allowing you to have underage intercourse and your mom and father will probable finally end up dropping their residing house interior the lawsuit (they are financially responsible for you) and residing on the line. and that they are going to be charged with baby ignore for not supervising you good. and in spite of if the police are not notified, that guy isn't stupid. He is extensive-unfold with that a woman who will supply it up while she is 15 will lie with regard to the paternity of her baby. he will call for a dna attempt and while that's shown that he's not the daddy, you would be in difficulty. I see which you already informed your mom and father that the older guy is the daddy. You had better tell them which you have been incorrect as they'll discover out the fact...dna does not lie regardless of the incontrovertible fact which you seem to. My superb suggestion to you is to have your toddler located for adoption. you're too youthful and immature to enhance a baby...you're nonetheless a baby your self. And please, do your self and society a prefer...shop your legs closed till you're over 18 and ideally married...and actual self-helping. good success and God bless.

Answer 9

Who knows you and your Dad may develop a wonderful relationship even after all these years. Of course it isn't your fault and I don't know your family history but if you feel in your heart that you want to get to know your Dad then go at it slowly and take the time to get to know him. Good luck and God bless

Answer 10

It's never to late to bond with your Dad, it may be a little awkward at first, but at least try to make contact.