i went through a rough devorice in august 05,my new girl friend was asking me how i felt about marriage and i told her that i didnt want to go through that again,i was married for 14 years and feel that it was not worth it,i think i hurt her feelings.am i wrong for feeling this way??
2006-06-25 13:01:53 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When we keep a pup and it is lost or dies, we mourn. The grief and anger makes us bitter. The same gets prolonged at times which is a very normal reaction. When we talk of humans and relationships they are the basics of our existence. Since prehistorical times we have love, hatred, anger, our needs and yearnings and nothing of them has ever changed. We are now using internet but personal relationships are deteriorating. People are lonelier than before. And that, Roger, hurts all of us. You have spend the best 14 years of your life with another human being and you shared love, anger, bitterness and yet found each other good enough for each other. Then something significant must have broken down which none other than you two could see or feel. It formally finished a relationship. But the residues are so hard to go away. These ambers continue to smoulder within us. As you mentioned it has been a rough divorce, Which inherently means that there were a lot of bitterness. I must admire your courage that you got into a relationship again. It takes a lot to do it after such trauma. I think your friend should have waited in asking you this question. Does she know how painful it has been to you? If no, please let her know. It won't be easy to describe as the anger becomes a lump in the throat and heaviness descends on the heart but you have to take it out of your system slowly. You will surely feel lighter and more adaptable. Only then will be the right time to decide about marriage. It is not wrong to marry once or again but there are no text book rules. We all have different experiences and they in turn regulate our future relationships with the world. Its not about good or bad. When you feel your anger has lessened, you will surely find yourself welcoming another person with open hearts and arms. In case you have kids, you will need to be more careful in establishing a long term relationship. You have best wishes and prayers. Good luck.
2006-06-25 13:18:23 · answer #1 · answered by qualittee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why, when we answer honestly to a woman's question, we are punished or in the dog house and made to feel guilty about it?
Put your pants on man. Go talk to guy that is @ 55 or 60 and divorced not widower. I got my back bone back. Remember this, She asked the question. She was testing her ground on marriage w/ you. Ask her to answer honestly if you were driving down the street and her fav actor pulled up next to her and asked her to marry him, or just have sex, would she go? If she says NO dump her!
So no, it's OK not to marry. Remember nothing lasts forever.
2006-06-25 20:18:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong for feeling that way. There are no right or wrong feelings. She has the right to feel the way that she does too, but if marriage is a big priority for her you might wnat to rethink your relationship. If you love her let her go. If she loves you, hopefully she can understand your point of view too. Best wishes.
2006-06-25 20:08:50 · answer #3 · answered by margarita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong for you to think this way. But understand your girlfriend may have always had dreams and expectations about herself getting married. To some people marriage is a big deal and it is something they would like to be.
2006-06-25 20:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by overlord_1138 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my man have been together for 12 years and never will get married.
2006-06-25 20:05:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may be hurt because she wants to be married have a family, and many other things but she cant do that if you arent into it too. you should tell her that you arent ready and that maybe in the future you can. and if she is still mad maybe you two werent meant to be because love waits.
2006-06-25 20:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by hottie101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its your choice, but I will say this not all marriages end in divorce. But I can see why you would want to take it slow. 14yrs was a big investment.Sorry it didn't work.
2006-06-25 20:06:20 · answer #7 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its no wrong in you not wanting to marry. If you are sure u don't want to don't, because if you marry just to please people you won't be happy and you will be hurting your girlfriend in knowing the only reason why you marry her is just to please her. Just think about it to rule out any doubts.
2006-06-25 20:08:44 · answer #8 · answered by louisianadimepiece 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no because you can follow your own opinion and if she has a different one than that is her.you are emotionally hurt.there is nothing wrong with that
2006-06-25 20:04:57 · answer #9 · answered by lildg2014 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your not wrong,you were married for along time,she should understand that you don't want that again aleast not right now.if she cares for you she would understand.
2006-06-25 20:10:49 · answer #10 · answered by dede2772 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋