I dont know what to do how should I help my girlfriend. She wants me to tie her up and hit her and smack her around, she says she loves it I have a hard time beating her how do I please her and not hurt her?
2006-06-25 12:50:34 · 27 answers · asked by Stvargo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she likes being spanked hard, go ahead and do it. She'll be thoroughly turned on and the sex will be fantastic. Don't worry about doing her any lasting damage - female bottoms are well padded and can be spanked long and hard without causing anything more than temporary discomfort.
If you don't like causing bruises, try starting out with a fairly light hand-spanking, gradually getting harder until her bottom's glowing red and well warmed-up. After that you should be able to use a paddle, hairbrush or whatever else she likes without risk of bruising.
Remember, she's showing you a lot of love and trust in asking you to hurt her in just this one special way she likes to be hurt. And if you don't do it, she'll never be fully satisfied. Make a game of the whole thing if that makes it easier for you. With luck, the pleasure she gets will soon make it easier for you to start enjoying it as well.
Good luck!
2006-06-25 22:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
1) Always be honest in any relationship. If you don't feel comfortable with this, tell her.
2) How should you "help" her? by either breaking up with her so she can find someone who will give her what she needs, or by giving her what she needs (even if you're not entirely comfortable with it). But you can't "help" her by thinking she's sick or deviant or you can "cure" this.
3) How do you please her & not hurt her. Well, since being hurt is what pleases her, you can't do both. Pick one.
I have the same problem with my guy. I like being tied and gagged. I like being spanked and manhandled. I even like the word "manhandled" it's such a cool word. My guy loves me very much, and it's hard for him to accept this kind of play as anything but abuse. I know he'd never hurt me, and it's hard for us to get to the point where he'll do that voluntarily, even if he knows I want it.
This is what you do:
1) Talk openly about this.
2) Decide your level of discomfort. Is this a "deal breaker" for either of you?
3) Know that if she's not with you, she'll find someone out there who really will spank her and be rough with her. Isn't she better off with someone like you who loves her and won't take it too far than someone else who might not know the difference?
Try to remember: it's only ABUSE if the person doesn't want you to do it. If two people care about each other and won't seriously damage each other, then it's just love play, just foreplay.
Try trading fantasies. If you do this for her, isn't there some secret kink or fantasy or something she can help you with?
-hugs, val
2006-06-26 06:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could buy some really nice bondage cuffs, and tie her up with those. As far as the smacking around part, maybe you could involve alittle more rougher nibbles here and there instead of smacking her around. I love things rough, but especially when your into that stuff, being roughly nibbled on can be much better then smacking around. Try this and see how she likes it, and if she still wants smacked around, tell her your not cool with that.
2006-06-25 13:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it, silly. She gave you permission. But to avoid confusion, just spank her the hardes you can, with just your hand. Save the hair brush, for disciiplininary spanking. She wants it, you should do it. It will be stimulating for her. Although it is unusual for a girl to want it done hard, instead of gently. Beating is hitting on her back, with bat or belt. Spanking is not beating. You can do it gently, too, but if she persists at asking you to do it harder, you'll have to do it harder, or dump her. It's because of girls like her (men, too) that sites such as bondage.com exist.
2006-06-25 12:56:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it! Don't be a whimp. I bet you think your girlfriend is your love of your life and you don't want to shame her. Reality: Every girl wants to be a pornstar. What you both do behind closed doors is your own business. Don't feel ashamed. Smack her butt real good. She'll love you more for it. And, it makes for good coversation with your friends.
2006-06-25 13:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
say lover boy is it all the time she wants this? Or is this something out the blue she has a wild side just let her know how far you will go (let some of your baaad boy come out ) at least she is coming to you for it she could hide it and have a secret life. I need more details because if this is a new girlfriend maybe its time to move on and find someone your speed...
2006-06-25 12:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by classy chic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not do anything that feels uncomfortable to you. If you went too far, well, you don't want to go there.
It may not be that she has "issues." Different people get turned on by differ net stuff. But, ask her if you could please explore different fantasies. Explain that you are discomfit ted by this and unwilling to participate. She should understand. As women, we are always told not to do something that makes us uncomfortable during sex. I don't see why men should have to.
Your gf should be grateful that she has a man with her who does not like violence. Well done!
2006-06-25 12:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by Stephiony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her tell her your just not comfortable with that I'm sure she will understand. Let her know about the fantasies you will do for her. or work with her like tell her you'll tie her up but won't hit.
2006-06-25 12:54:31 · answer #8 · answered by MelC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not do what you dont want to
explain to her that you dont feel comfortable with that
look for middle ground - maybe just tying her up for example or spank her bottom a little
but dont go where you dont want to - it wont work for either of you
2006-06-25 12:54:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww....that is so cute and sweet. You don't want to hurt her! Your gf is a massachist! Well do both! Just spank her softly if that is what she wants so hard. You are a sensual, soft lover. She is a massichist lover. You both have to learn how to please yourselves and yet please the other in bed. You can't be selfish, you have to do stuff that gives pleasure to both of you. Just spoil her and spank her softly but tell her "you are worth to much to me and therefore I don't want to hurt. I pleased you , now please me , please by agreeing to not let me hurt you." Good luck :)!
2006-06-25 12:55:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋