i have a six year old daughter with autism, if anyone is in the same boat how do you cope with the stress?

Question

when i say stress i mean the outbursts, and temper tantrums . not being able to give your child exactly what they need because they cant tell you what they need or want.

Answer 1

Here are some tips and suggestions that I hope will help you! I wish you all the best. Please keep in mind, as I'm sure you do, that not all children with autism are alike, and will have different needs. These are just guidelines, please consult an education professional who knows your child for the most accurate and relevant information for your family.

- Recognize your child's strengths and interests and use these as opportunities for education (for example, if your child is very interested in Star Wars, you can teach math problems about Star Wars, make cleaning up into a game about Jedi powers, etc.) You never know when an interest may turn into a possible career option for the future (I recently read a book written by a man with Asperger's who made his childhood interest in "The Wizard of Oz" into seveal job opportunities! ["Demystifying the Autistic Experience" by William Stillman"]) (Source #1)

- People with autism/Asperger's are often visual learners and learn well with pictures, charts, step-by-step written instructions, etc. (Source #1)

- Consider reading books by authors with Autism/Asperger's (while these are often geared towards adults, I think they offer valuable information) Authors to consider include Temple Grandin, Edgar R. Schneider, Jerry Newport, Stephen Shore, and William Stillman (Source #1)

- To motivate a child to use language, you could, for example if you know she wants juice, don't just give it to her becuase you know that's what she wants. Have her say, "juice," or if she is not ready for that yet, just the first sound of the word before you give her any juice. Gradually, very slowly, require him to say additional words such as, "want juice," then "want juice please," then "I want juice please, etc." before you give her the juice. Start with him requesting with one word for most of the things he wants (and keep this up for a long while), before starting to require sentences for any items. If you feel your child is not ready for this, please consider using the Picture Exchange Communication System (PECS) as an early step before implementing the above procedure. (Source #1)

- Make clear and objective descriptions of the behaviors that are concerning you. Then, make some notes whenever the behavior occurs. You could make a chart with three columns: (A) What happens before the behavior, (B) What the behavior was, and (C) What happened after or as a result of the behavior. You may find that it gets her attention from adults, or that it gets her a time-out (maybe she is overwhelmed in the situation and wants to be removed). If you see a pattern from the information you collect, you could teach her other ways to get attention or whatever she is gaining from doing these behaviors. These could include, tapping someone on the shoulder, asking for attention, handing someone a card that says, "attention please" or "all done" (to get permission to leave an area), etc. Also, make sure that you are giving her praise or a reinforcer (something she likes) when he is engaging in positive behavior.

- "Many children with autism are good at drawing, art and computer programming. These talent areas should be encouraged. I think there needs to be much more emphasis on developing the child's talents. Talents can be turned into skills that can be used for future employment." (Source #2)

- "Teaching generalization is often a problem for children with autism. To teach a child to generalize the principle of not running across the street, it must be taught in many different locations. If he is taught in only one location, the child will think that the rule only applies to one specific place." (Source #2)

- "I interpret language literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, 'Hold your horses, cowboy!' when what you really mean is 'Please stop running.'" (Source #3)

- "A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day planner, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transitions between activities, and helps me manage my time and meet your expectations." (Source #3)

- "Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. This is termed 'the antecedent.' Meltdowns, blowups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented." (Source #3)

- "Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. I may not be good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates, or pass judgment on other people? ... I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan, but with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh. They had autism too." (Source #3)

Answer 2

Love her and don't push her for anything. Be there to love her, make sure you tell her what the rules are, and once only. Be a friend not a mom. If she can't tell you...start listening and asking. Most of the time with autistic children/people is that people treat them like kids...they may actually be very bright.

Next thing...get her to eat well, sleep enough, take her to kids yoga (seriously, whether you believe in it or not - it's about her...not you.)

Don't put her on "diets" or "prescriptions," rather get supplements - ie. 1xmultivitamin, vit C (ascorbic acid), flaxseed oil caps (omega 3, 6 ,9 - for brain function & to control her moods - you can put a cap in some fruit juice, you mix it in and tell her to drink up quick - once a day only - make it fun - with a little juice - like 50 mls.)
Get a magnetic strip from your pharmacy for headaches, and put it round her middle - it'll calm her down. Electromagnetic fields may be strong. magnets deflect the effects of it - the ones in the strips aren't too strong. speak to your doctor or a specialist in the field or email me, I'll refer you to someone via email only - you'll have to pay her though.)
get her off sugar and onto fructose - even honey is better, off junk food - at that age it's not easy, so limit it to like not more than 5 sweets/times a day. and get her off milk as much as possible, a little won't hurt. get her off wheat - this is a major one. you may find it's an allergy and she's actually not autistic. SERIOUSLY.

Try what I have suggested for one month, if she's not better speak to someone who uses electromagnotherapy or speak to a chinese doctor - they know their stuff. it's for your kid.

Good luck. I'm a little peeved at parents for putting kids on ritalin for bad behaviour. the kids are used to attention from when they are babies, when they grow up people think they need less attention!!!!! wowa. in their teens when they have many friends (like at 18 or 19) til then and even past then, don't decrease the amount of attention or quality or availability of it...just be age relative. :)

Good luck again!!!! :)

All information in this message is to be used as a guideline only. I will not be liable in any way for any subsequent or consequential events or results whatsoever. Thank you.

Answer 3

Check out (http://www.reducingstress.net ) there is a lot of great articles and expert advice on the subject there.