How has mental illness effected you?

Question

Has anyone's life been very much disrupted due to bipolar disorder, or any other mental illness for that matter? I don't mean disrupted for 5 or 6 months. I mean disrupted as in years and years of confusion, inner angst etc... What is your experience?

Answer 1

My Grandmother is bi-polar and we didn't know it until last year. She was placed on medication and became a sweet, little Granny. I never saw anything she did because I was her first grandchild and her favorite because she loved my Dad. No one got anything over on *Eileen except for *James. She developed high respect for him. But her five children saw too much of it all. She would have fits of rage and even threw knives at my Dad one time. She'd also get these ideas that people thought they were better than her. There are variations with bi-polar disorder and the most compelling tale of bi-polar disorder was Lindsay Crosby, a son of Bing Crosby. The late Lindsay's life was detailed by his wife of over 25 years in a book by Kathy Cronkite. The book is titled, "On the Edge of Darkness~Conversations about Conquering Depression. It's a must read and Lindsay Crosby's life ended because he was in his annual manic phase and his lithium levels dipped. He blew his brains out. Two years later, his brother Dennis Crosby did the same. I learned that many famous people suffer terribly and there was a time when no one would even approach the subject. We are just now generating a worldview that will discuss the subject and treat it! So many people suffered including Abraham Lincoln, Sir Winston Churchill, Mike Wallace, John Belushi, and many more. Joan Rivers and her late husband Edgar Rosenberg fought it and Edgar lost the battle.

Well, I started getting my brother when he was 17. I was 23 and married. My mother could not handle him, so I got him for the summer. I noticed erratic behavior but I thought it was the usual teenage scene. I didn't know he'd been self-medicating with booze since he was nine. One minute he'd be out dancing with all his Swatches on and the next minute he'd be sleeping with some old broad or fighting at a Grateful Dead concert. We got him again at 19 for the summer. Mother was going nuts. He was then in college but partying and living with a 42 year old woman who looked like Elvira. The Dean called my Mother and told her he hadn't been to class in ages. Mother drove there and got him shoved back in school but he wanted to be in a band. She bought him drums. Then he wanted to be a TV reporter or anchor like Katie Couric, so Mother put him back into school and he studied journalism and oral communications. He graduated with a straight D average. All the while he was smoking weed, drinking, eating magic mushrooms and peyote buttons so he could be "normal". Then he'd be in jail for fighting or burst into tears because he needed a new Guess shirt and it was only $125.00 in the 80's. So, he got all of that. When he got out of college, she gave him 10 grand and a brand new convertible. He came back to Sis with crabs that he got from a set of twins he had *** with. I told him if my seven month old gets crabs, I will kill you. We thought he was just a wild, young guy. My Dad thought that my so-called wicked Mother messed with his head. She didn't. What she should have done was bash him in the damn head. So, we had him again. My then husband is a petroleum engineer and got my brother *Trent a job as a welder's helper. He quit after one day because he said he got too dirty. He met a girl and he bonded with her. She was as screwed up as he was. Her Father owned a pharmacy, so to be stable this girl and Trent were popping pills and drinking all of the wine in our house (we had a collection). Suddenly, Trent decides to join the Marines. He got in but he was overjoyed with sliding in mud, leaping into freezing water yelling woppa dang man before he was told to jump in, so he was discharged. So he goes to Austin to be a famous dee-jay but wound up in jail for fighting and hit and run because he was stinking drunk. This time Mother put him in a mental hospital and he was told he was bi-polar. He started the lithium but he said it made him feel normal and he couldn't handle it. He threatened the shrink with a razor he got from God knows where and was discharged. This time, Trent joined the National Guard but he kept blowing off M-16's in ebullient joy, so he was discharged. Trent comes back to California and he is not manic. He moved into our basement and listened to Jim Morrison all day while staring at the wall, smoking pot, and burning incense. My then husband told him to get a job or get out. Oh, my brother got out all right! He got a job on a film crew in San Francisco. The rest of the time, he was having *** with anyone he could find out in my husband's practice room! One day a man showed up looking for his wife! This culminated in my husband telling him to get out and they got into a mega-fight in the front yard. Both of them were strong, strong guys so they were just beating on each other until the cops came and broke them up. Trent left the next morning for Arizona but he didn't stay. He went back to Mother's and wanted 25,000 so that he could pay for training to be an underwater welder. He was denied so he got his shotgun and stuck it in her face. My step-dad fought three wars and was a prison warden. *Jim took that gun away from Trent and beat him with it. Then Jim locked it up. By then, I was divorced so Trent heads my way. He moved in with me and I got him a job where I worked but I threw out the paper saying he failed the drug test. He was doing okay for awhile, although he was staying in his room all the time and crying. Finally, he got a girlfriend and moved with her to Modesto. They broke up and I saw the fall coming. He was working for another company and running electrical crews out of Paso Robles, California when the **** hit the fan. He went to a bar because he was "tripping" (tripping to him meant he was going into mania) and got dead drunk. He drove back to the hotel where the crews were and hit 8 cars going thru the lot. He left the truck running and crawled in the bed. The cops rousted him out of a blackout and Trent started beating them before they could get to their weapons. The other crews got ahold of him before the cops shot him down. He tested positive for meth, pot, and booze. He spent the night in jail and was fired immediately. He came back where I lived and got an apartment. He would call me everyday at work because he was convinced the cops were coming. By this time, he's got a bench warrant out for his arrest. One fine day he called and said he had to make a trip to Hollywood. I asked why. Trent said he wrote a screenplay and that he would be meeting with executives at Paramount because they were making a movie. Then he said he had a few interviews to do to authenticate the material for his movie. I told him to be safe.

He couldn't handle being alone. I moved him in with me and he would lay there and stare at the History Channel and try and convince me that my cat was staring at him and watching TV, too. On September 11, 2001 I got home from an obviously stressful day at work. My brother was drunk and in a frenzy. My kids were there and he looked like rambo with a knife around his ankle and a Chinese AK-47 slung over his shoulder. He had his shotgun and a deer rifle ready to go with his duffle bag. He said America was being attacked and he told my kids to pack up because we had to leave for Siberia. I put them to bed. I tried to calm him down because the sheriff's dept. was just up the road. They would have shot him dead if they saw him with all of that and ask questions later. I called my Dad to try and calm Trent and he said, "That fat **** has never done anything for me" (untrue). I said gotta go Dad, we are fine. I was so scared that I barricaded myself in my room and I didn't disturb my kids because I knew Trent would rather die than hurt them. I called a cop friend and said if I call you, will you come? He said yes. He knew my brother well and would not have had Trent arrested. I heard all this racket during that long, long night. I removed the furniture for a quick peek. I looked down the stairs and Trent had barricaded the front door. So, I re-barricaded my door. In the morning, I had to get my kids up for school. Trent was gone. He came back 7 days later looking like crap. He'd lost about 10-15 pounds. He'd been catching fish and doing the survivalist thing. He decided to move to Las Vegas to work. He stayed a week and went back home where my Dad dealt with his legal mess. Then Trent met his wonderful wife. The end of the tale here is that Trent married a very strange woman and she was so bad that he was strung out on methadone and oxycodone and booze before he got carted off to jail. He is divorced now. He dried up in jail and went to rehab. Now he lives alone in an apartment and is clean. I wish I could tell him that those claws will always be in his back and there is help now. Real help.

For me, I didn't know I was bi-polar until two months ago when the family doctor caught it. All the drinking in the world to normalize didn't have to happen. All the blackouts didn't have to happen. I was pretty good because I was a Mom and I prayed to God all the time to relieve me of whatever was wrong. I did a few crazy things. I left California for Nevada on a whim in a U-Haul, 2 kids and 1 cat. I am married now and he's the best. But I have had my mania, too. My husband here wants to go swimming but I have to tell you this. One time after a pretty bad break-up with a man my kids still adore, I got dead drunk and popped a Xanax 10mg. I put on a mini-skirt, heels and a wig from Frederick's of Hollywood. I went to a dance club and smoked pot with strangers and woke up face down the next morning with my wig askew at my friend *Sarah's house. It was awful. I lived in a small town and the neighbors saw this nice church lady leaving in a damn wig and returning the next day with red eyes and the wig all askew! It's an awful way to live. Two pills a day now have changed my life. I thank God for it.

IOf anyone is like us, get help. It will be the best thing you ever did. Sometimes I still wake up and think that it's wonderful not to get up and start drinking beer to stabilize. For someone like me, I was really able to pass myself off as normal. No one ever guessed. But I knew the "wolves" were there. That's what I call it. The wolves. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 2

You are talking about my life.My son has had issues since he was 3 yrs old.Hes now 17 and my life still revolves around him.I've even had to stop working so if I need to go to school I can.My husband has even thought I'd end up in a Psych ward a few times when I've become totally frustrated with either my son or the mental health care system we have or lack there of.My son was dx with bipolar at 7 but we've had yrs of residential placements,hospitalizations,psychiatrists,therapists,police, juvie court.

Answer 3

I live in a world where in any normal day or night, we need a good strong growing police-force to protect the public against seemingly crazy violent people . A locked high fence is necessary. When bringing up children it is constantly necessary to prevent the possibility of danger to them. Many people with mental disturbances are now driving on the highways, are drunk, or on drugs. Many people are mentally ill. In a large city it is nice when there are a facilityies built to take care of the mentally ill. A prison has been built and it is entirely for those who take drugs. There are many mentally ill people who take drugs. Like anyone else I must be constantly aware of what surrounds us all. People with bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses add much stress to life, add grief to life, bring about gigantic losses. They commit suicide. They threaten to kill us. These experiences are common to many.

Answer 4

Hi, I happen to have major bipolar disorder. I'm still struggling with it. I've been in the hospital 5 times & a girls group home 2 times. I still take medicine, but it doesn't work. If I go to therapy, I have to start all over again & go through the feelings & changes, so I'm very scared, plus I can't afford to see a therapist for this.

Answer 5

I have bi polar and had it for years. just got treatment a year ago but there are still ups and downs. This questions is kinda strange anybody with mental disorder life as been disrupted or just turned up sided down. Wanna hear my experience..... email me at [e-mail]. i can't fit it all in this space.,

Answer 6

Yesssssssss! I have had the disorder at least since......actually that is still in question. I have bi-polar 1. I have recently been in one of my dark spirals for at least 3 months. I used to have 2 year cycles, but I have learned(or at least recognized) when I am in the midst of my illness. But I have been able to become really good at my public personna vs. private.
If you would like, please contact me! I am a pretty good companion in angst. To tell you just random experiences here would take a week, and then I will edit it! AND if you truly bi-polar, you know what I mean!

Answer 7

Looking at my screen name will explain a lot. I was in Vietnam in 1967 and again shortly in 1972. I suffered for all these years with PTSD and anxiety before being diagnosed 2 years ago, now I have my VA Disability and some issues that I am stuck with for the rest of my life. Affected me? Of late, most Vietnam Vets will tell you that US should never have gotten involved in Iraq.

Answer 8

I have suffered from depression nearly my entire life, beginning with early childhood trauma. It's horrible, but I deal with it as best I can. I also have major PTSD and that has had a severe impact on my life and relationships, which I shy away from because of trust issues. But, things are getting better, and there's always hope. Jesus said the last days would be like this. God bless...

Answer 9

I have bipolar, ptsd, and psychotic features...
so you could say that mental illness has greatly affected my life. At one point, 15 years ago, I thought I was going to have that "normal" life. the husband and daughter. It didn't last, not even a year. I had my third suicide attempt...and left my husband. tried a second husband and got preg again...only to have my cutting get in the way...this time I lost husband and both girls...I still get to visit with my girls...every now and then....can't hold a job...don't even try any more....on disability, live alone, have a boyfriend...but i screw that up all the time, thank goodness that he understands my illness and hasn't given up on me in these past 5 years after the hell i have put him through. I have treated my fam like crap. stolen from them, lied to them. lost them for years...trying to get them back now. been through so many shrinks and MEDS i can't even remember them all. right now, just trying to keep my plants alive. and trying not to self injure...

Answer 10

Yes i have been diagnosed with bipoler disorder and attention deficiency disorder ADD, yes it does affect my life mood wings, I'm constantly on the move I have the attention span of a 8 year old and I'm 15 almost 16. it sucks. contact me if you would like to hear more.

Answer 11

I am terrified of going anywhere theres crowds of people, I've suffered from depression, I actually had it at a young age due to family circumstances.