what can I do about children that steal?

Question

I have a six year old son and an eight year old son. I am having trouble with both of them stealing, from me and from stores,and from other people. I have tried grounding them, and spanking them, I tried taking things away from them. nothing seems to deter them from stealing. my youngest just stole and ate a whole box of chocolate calcium supplements. any ideas please help.

I have already taken everything out of their rooms. I pay very close attention to my kids, I have already tried a belt, allt hese suggestions so far I have already tried. And as far as the apple not falling far from the tree. I stole when I was five and never again after my mom caught me. My boys have had to return things to stores and pay for them. Any other suggestions.

Answer 1

First get your child to a doctor if he/she ate a whole box of calcium supplements! He might overdose and die! Seriously. Then embarrass your children. Take them to the stores when they take something, before they open it and give it back to the manager with them present. Force them to give it back to the manager. Or make your kids wear a sign that says " Watch me.I steal" when you bring them to the stores. Do whatever you can (reasonable) to embarrass them. or have them just wear a sign around the house if you are scared to do it in public. Every time they steal punish them and embarrass them. Explain to them that if they continue to steal, when they get caught they will go to jail (you dont have to explain what happens to children). Just tell them they will be taken away from you and put into a dirty prison cell for years. And be beaten up by other thieves. You need to 1) embarrass them for stealing and 2) scare them into not stealing by telling them what horrible things will happen when they get caught. If you are religious bring them to your pastor/ priest and tell the pastor with your children present, that they are stealing and how can you stop this. Force them to do chores (hard ones like pull weeds outside. Something to tire them out and something not fun at all.) as punishment. But also take away TV and video games/ computer privilage. Take computers, etc out of their rooms and hid them. Or start giving their toys away to the poor. Say for every time they steal they lose something they love. If they want to live an illegal life then they can live like they are in a prison cell, with no toys and computers, etc.
Be consistant. Decide what you want to do for punishments and sitck with it. Every time they steal do the same thing.

Answer 2

You need to confront them about their stealing and make sure they know that as adults they would go to jail for doing such crimes. As far as stealing from stores, you need to make them take the item back into the sales clerk or manager and tell them what they did. In the case of the calcium supplements, the child should be made to take back the empty box and pay for it out of their own allowance or saved money. A few times of embarrassment should cure a child's desire to steal.

Answer 3

My husband caught one of the kids stealing Tic Tacs once. He took our kid back to the store to apologize. Then paid for the mints. THEN called a crowd around to say exactly what the child did. THEN, as he took out each tic tac from the container, gave a reason why stealing is wrong , and why people looked down on thieves. With each explanation, my husband threw a Tic Tac in the trash. The crowd applauded while my husband chastised the little thief.
Never underestimate the power of pure embarassment and community involement! It takes a village.......

Answer 4

Have you tried restitution. If your child, say, steals a box of candy from the store then they have to take the box of candy back to the store, and pay for it from their own money. It is best, I think, if you make the child earn the money by doing extra chores.
Make the child make public apologies for their actions to the people they stole from, if they stole from a neighbor make him apologize to the neighbors entire household.
Be calm with your child and explain why stealing is wrong, in addition to restitution you might want to add some punishment, and have the punishments increase in intensity if the behavior continues.
Also, if this is a severe problem, you might want to get some counsel ling for your children -- have you recently separated from your spouse, have their been arguments etc. in your house... these types of things can cause your children to act out in negative ways to bring attention to themselves because they are feeling scared and upset.
Your reaction to this is key to stopping the behavior. You know your situation best, weigh your options carefully.

Answer 5

There is a really funny e-mail that I just got from a friend. It was titled "A mom who cares" and it showed a young boy standing on the side of the road holding a sign that read "I am 13 years old, I steal, I want to go to prison to be with my daddy". In the picture you see the mom sitting in a chair sipping on a soda making sure her son stayed and held the sign. I am not recommending this type of embarrasment, but I thought it was fitting! Let me know your e-mail address and I can send it to ya. :)

Answer 6

have the police come out, in uniform,and tell the kids that they will be arrested next time. when the next time comes, take them to the police station so the police can "arrest" them.hopefully they will put them in a room for 20 or 30 minutes. if that doesn't scare them, get them counseling.find out who they are around. someone might be teaching them to steal. i actually know of a mom that is teaching her 5 years old to steal. GOOD LUCK with your boys.

Answer 7

i know it would be hard with to of them but maybe watch them more carefully and make them go back in and apologize to the person/store they stole from. My parents made me do that when I was a child and I stopped doing it. It will make them understand that taking other people's things is not right.

Answer 8

I would say the only way to compltely stop it is to let them get caught by someone other than you. I used to steal stuff all the time from every store possible any chance i got and it only took one arrest to quit completely...kids have to learn from their mistakes....it's been over 5 years and i would never ever steal another thing.

Answer 9

Those are (for the most part) good answers; since they seem to have a problem with chronic stealing and do not seem to ever be sorry for what they have done, you need to consider getting therapy both for the boys, so the therapist can help you find out why they are stealing and help you to put a stop to it; and for yourself, to help you learn to deal with their antisocial behavior. Look in your phone book under "Counseling Services"; you should be able to find one that offers a sliding-fee scale. Please do your best to get them into therapy before they end up in serious trouble. Best of luck to all of you.

Answer 10

When I was a kid, I stole a pack of gum. When my mom caught me, she walked me back into the store, brought me to the manager and made me tell him what I had done, then offered to stay and wait for the police if he chose to press charges.

He declined and was going to let it go, but after my mom said she wanted to nip my behavior in the bud, he allowed her to have me work off the cost of the gum by bagging groceries for people. I had to tell them I was repaying the store for something I had stolen.

It was embarrassing in the extreme. I also never did it again.