I really like this guy at my school but i'm not sure if he's really into me. how do i get him to notice me?

Answer 1

You have said very little about the guy in question. It sounds to me like you may have a LOT of thinking to do before you take any action at all.

First of all, why exactly do you want his attention? The reason I ask is that this will have a very big effect on the strategy you adopt. If you are just looking to spend some time in nice company, it would be wise not to get emotionally or physically involved. It will only lead to heartbreak for one or both of you.

You could ask him out, but it has to be very clear to both of you what your intentions are and aren't, in order to avoid any possibly tragic misunderstandings (e.g. date rape) - again, a good reason to think about all this beforehand.

Indeed, it would be wise to delay emotional involvement until a moment when you feel ready for a permanent relationship, and until you know enough about what you are looking for in a potential permanent partner/husband to be able to measure him against your standard, and find that he fits.

And there is much to be said for delaying all physical involvement until after you are actually in that permanent relationship (some, perhaps even most people call it marriage). The reasoning here is to ensure that when you do get emotionally or physically involved, it will have the right meaning, because once you've done those things, in a very real way, there is no turning back.

Indeed, let me point out: the relationship where people leave their parents, commit to each other permanently, and become physically one is one in which God joins people together. This is why Jesus said 'What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder' - telling us why we should not break up once we have taken this step.(1)

The reason I mention this is that it therefore makes very good sense for you to above all take care of your relationship with God (and make sure the man you have your eye on is doing that too).

OK, now let's say you feel you might want something more serious. Take an inventory of what you want in a potential permanent partner. Think 'the type of guy I would want to live with for the rest of my life'. Talk to people you know and trust who are already married to find out what sorts of general characteristics 'work'.

Observe many different people and relationships - not just ones that are attractive, but also ones that aren't. Ask yourself 'Why does this person or relationship appeal to or seem good to me?' or 'Why doesn't this person or relationship appeal to or seem good to me?'

Think about what is involved in a relationship, ask yourself, 'Do I really want this? Is this something I can do? If not, what do I have to do to correct that? Is *that* something I can do?' etc., until you are sure that you really want to be in a relationship at all. If you come to a point where you realize you don't want to be in a relationship right now, don't move forward.

But let's say you've decided this is what you want, that this is something you really can do. Now, and only now, are you ready to make a start. Before you take any action to attract the guy's attention, try to find out what he's interested in. What groups does he belong to? Is any of this stuff you would find interesting? If not, take that as a warning and don't go any further unless you find something later that you do have in common.

If there is some evidence of common interests, figure out how you can get involved in some kind of activity in these areas, a group situation where you can discreetly observe him and figure out in what measure he fits the profile you came up with earlier. Again, if he significantly falls short, does not have some really important characteristic(s), don't go any further.

But let's say, for the sake of argument, that he turns out to be a really nice, good, honorable guy, with more enduring values than just appearances, possessions, etc. As you find out what his values are, you will get more and more ideas of how you can get to know him better, what kinds of situations you can observe him in, what kinds of things you might want to read up on so you can talk knowledgeably with him about his interests.

But you will of course need to go a good deal further than that, both in your observation, and in your cultivation of your own life. For if you want to have a good partner, you need to first of all *be* one. And as you get to know him, it'll snowball, it'll get easier and easier to build your life and find out what you need to know about him.

And if the moment ever comes that you think it could make sense for you to be spending time alone together, to talk about stuff that you might not talk about in a public forum, then you could consider simply asking him to spend time with you. By that time, you ought to know enough about him already to know where a good, interesting place to spend that time would be. I would make two points here:

1) Make sure the place is suited to what you actually want to do. This means that if you want to talk about personal things, the movies might not be a great idea, because you'll be too busy watching the movie;

2) Even more important, you ought to know what your moral standards are, because particularly the first time, you want to make sure it's a place/situation where there basically isn't even the possibility of anything happening other than that which you believe to be right.

And if you think he would think this is 'too square', take that as a warning and don't go any further. You need to have enough respect for yourself to stay out of dead-end situations from which no good will come.

Otherwise, I wish you all the best!

May God bless you and keep you

Answer 2

i think you get him to notice you by start to hang around him more learn what he like so you can start doing it. see what he like to do in his spare time and maybe one day you'll can do that together.

Answer 3

talk to him and ask him aout after you guys have met very well

Answer 4

if he knows you, or you are friends, tell him!adervise, ask some friend to meet you

Answer 5

just go up and talk to him

Answer 6

Flash him.