I want to die?

Question

I feel terrible and I just want to die. I'm 24 years old and I hate everything about myself. I don't see any reason to continue living and everyone would be better off without me. I have no close friends to talk to about how I feel and I don't want to talk to my family about it.

Nothing has happened to make me feel like this, that's what I don't understand. But I just feel so bad all the time. I spend most of the day lying in my bed crying. I don't want to do anything anymore and I don't enjoy anything that I used to.

I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. What can I do to drag myself out of this depression? I don't want to go on drugs but I don't know what to do.

I've been self harming for the past 6 months as well, it's getting worse now, it's all I can think about and I don't know how to stop it.

Answer 1

Hey sweetheart, you really need to go and see your doctor. I know it's scary, because I've been there myself, but you sound a lot like what I felt 18 months ago. It's a horrible place to be in and you feel really isolated and alone, but you don't have to be. I understand you not wanting to talk to your family about it, I didn't either, but please talk to SOMEONE about this. You can't go through this alone. Go and see your GP, make it sometime this week because it sounds like you're pretty low right now. I think the doctor will probably want to start you on medication - I didn't want to go on it either, but going on medication does NOT mean you are weak. It really helped me once they found the right medication. Please, don't keep suffering like this. Go and see your doctor, they deal with this all the time, and hopefully they can sort out some help for you. Take care and stay safe sweetheart.

Answer 2

Alicia,

i am also 24 and have been plagued most of my life by depression, feelings of having no self-worth and being ugly, useless and generally thinking the world would be a better place without me.

But you know what I realised over time this is simply not true. You need to seek help as you won't lift the cloud on your own. I'm not telling you to seek councelling, it doesn't work for everyone and didn't work for me. But you do need someone to talk things through with you. I found (and still do) keep a note book, and when I feel down I write, i don't think about it i just write. It helps me get it all out when I feel like i'm going to explode.

I was on the drugs, but was worried I was getting relient on them so turned to homeopathy and herbal remedies. These worked for me, again you can give it a try and see what works for you. But in the end I was so sick of nearly ten years under a grey cloud i just couldn't do it anymore. i was exhausted of being depressed. You say nothing has happened to make you feel like this, but there must have been some sort of trigger. Even something as simple as was it winter when you began feeling this way? SAD syndrome is not taken seriously by some but it can be a major factor.

It will take little steps, but you will get there... I am concerned with your self-harming tho, you should see someone, if only for that...

Good luck x

Answer 3

For someone calling themselves "Openmind" they arent too sympathetic by calling you a wierdo so just ignore such comments.You clearly are depressed and may need a little professional help,but do you work?Or have any hobbies/interests?.If not,might be worth considering finding something as a way of meeting people and developing some worthwhile interests.Even if maybe starting some voluntary work if you dont have a job already.You are stuck in a rut and spending all this time in bed crying and alone will only fuel your anxiety and feelings of self worthlessness.
Self harming yourself is in itself a cry for help.As much as you feel alone,there are people you can talk to,including the Samaritans.You are not a worthless person and i sincerely hope that one day soon,you will be able to see for yourself.There are people that care,you just hjave to look a little harder sometimes :-) Good luck and take care!!!!

Answer 4

Sound like you have the depression. Nothing needs to happen to make you feel bad. It can be as simple as an uncontrollable inbalance of the chemicals in your brain.

I've been wondering for some time whether people who intentionally hurt themselves do so in order to make those bad feelings make sense. After all, if you inflict the pain, now you can understand why you are feeling bad, and that may be giving you a sense of relief.

See a professional. There are effective treatments for this, but you need to want the help. You wouldn't have posted this message if you didn't want some help. If you can't afford the medicine, Social Security may be able to help pay for it in some cases, or the drug compaines themselves may help.

My heart goes out to you. I know those bad feelings you're having, but I don't really understand why any more than you. Best course of action is to find a professional. Your doctor can perscribe drugs, but they will take 4-6 weeks to help you. You place of work may also provide free counseling services.

In the mean time, try not to get stressed. Try to keep busy on simple tasks that take your mind off things. If you catch yourself sitting alone and thinking bad thoughts...stop immediately.

And breathe. Just breathe.

Answer 5

Sweetheart, ur case really saddens me cuz there is just a thin line btw how u feel now and happiness. U live on this earth for a purpose and it would be too sad for u to waste a bight future due to depression. If Bill Gates commited suicide the opportunity to communicate ur feelings wouldnt be there. Each human being has a unique combination of talents and capabilities that he can contribute to this world to make it a better place. People like Mother Theresa, Mahathma Ghandi, Mandela etc wouldnt have left their footprints in the sands of time if they had succumbed to depression. This terrible state of the mind is the greatest enemy to whatever good u are bound to amount to in life. take it from me, the best u can do for ur help is talk to anyone u feel u can confide in and get medical help. A problem shared is half solved. another thing u can do is to engage urself in anything u know gives u joy and the freedom to be urself and u will definitely feel better with time and with the doctors advice.
Always remember that there are children dying everyday from starvation and diseases due to no fault of theirs. U are blessed to be where u are and u can make the best of it for now. you are not the first and definitely not the last but what will make a difference is how u pull thru which i know u can. Feel free to reply me on [e-mail]. Goodluck

Answer 6

Well I cant judge I was depressed myself a year ago from October to Febuary, tried to plan my death, leaving notes why i did it etc...
What got me out of it were anti depressants and church a few times, I recommend you make yourself usefull, because i was sooo useles.

If you worry, worry about what the outcome might be, your best bet if you do end up dead god may forgive you and punish you by wandering the earth until you learned your lesson.
You probbably wont go to hell unless you have been a very bad person.

I may end up like you I'm 21 in July I plan to live at least from 14 - 29 years until I end that depressed I even chose a good place to go Mt Etna in sicily a 10.000 ft/ 300 metre volcano.
By my sources I will not even feel the impact bacause my body will be travelling around 120 miles per hour, will experience tunnel syndrome and begin judgement.

Before that time I will live as a christian and lower my sentance if I have one.
Oops there I go again talk too much!

Try praying that might help you might never no god might help, worth a try its helped in most casses in history those in prison for example.

Hope that helped Im not going to say "Dont do it" your probably regret it either way you look at it just spend some time to think it over first. ok?

Answer 7

Take a big step and go and see a doctor. Tell him exactly how you are feeling don`t feel stupid or embarrassed. If he prescribes medicine, take it. I understand how you feel , I am on anti -depressants at the moment. I could not understand why I couldn`t "pull myself together". I have been taking my pills for the last 6 weeks. You have good days and bad days. I started to keep a diary so that I could look back and see what I was like . Try and find one little thing that you like about the day, it might be a flower ,someone smiling at you etc., and make small decisions. Think only of the hour ahead, get through it and reward yourself, even if its only a cup of tea or coffee. God bless, I`ll think of you

Answer 8

You have all of us to talk to. It is up to you to listen. I've read some wonderful advise and would like to add my own in addition to theirs. The first step is to stop thinking just about yourself. This makes you paranoid and depressed. Get out of that bed and give some thought to your family. Depression is an emotional imbalance brought about by a selfish state when all you can think about is yourself. Take one day at a time and do something nice for someone else, have a good cry when you feel the need but tell yourself that's enough about me, and move on. The live cultures in yogurt will also help, so eat up and get some advise from a natural practitioner. You don't need medicine, you need to modify your attitude, one day at a time. Of course we are here if you need us.

Answer 9

Sweetheart you need to go and talk to your doctor about this as soon as you can. You sound very depressed at the minute and I think you could do with some professional help now. You may need to go on some medication even though you're not keen - it can really help in some cases. I'm concerned that you say your self harm is becoming worse, PLEASE be careful with this because it's so easy to make a mistake and cut too deep. You need to get some proper help from a psychiatrist to get to the bottom of your problems and help you find other ways to cope with them. Depression CAN be cured, I promise. Even though it feels like things will never get better, they will. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but gradually if you get help from the doctors things will improve. Please take care of yourself sweetheart. You're too young to leave us.

Answer 10

some people have given you really good advice and that's great however I think there is a side of each of us which no amount of talking or pills or psycologists / doctors etc can help with.

I was in a similar situation to yours I had no will to live having being abused by my parents / bullied at school etc. Whereever I looked it was BLACK as night I had no future there was nothing.

There came a point in my life where I asked the Lord Jesus to be my Saviour and to come and help me because no one else and nothing else had worked. So I came to Him and asked Him to save me which He did but more than that He has taken away all the depression and has given me a reason for living. Try it - ask Him to be your Saviour you won't be disappointed I can guarantee it because Jesus is alive and He loves and cares so much about you.

Find a Christian felllowship and ask them to pray with you/for you. Don't kill yourself but find the answer for living.

To the people who have responded such as that above I feel really sorry for you because you have no compassion for others, you have no love you are in a worse state than the person who asked the question.