how do i tell my ten year old son about the "birds and bees" ? he keeps asking me.?

Answer 1

Be honest. If there are some details that are a bit mature for him, then tell him that.

Answer 2

From an expert!!!

Wondering how much is enough and how much is too much when having "the talk" with your child? Dr. Phil offers parents this advice.

Set the Environment and Tone
Make sure you have the talk with your child at a time and place where there will be no distractions. Turn off the TV and the phone. Maintain a calm and relaxed tone. If you are anxious, your children may unnecessarily read into that.

Children Under 6: Be Truthful but Abstract
Research tells us that the younger children are, the more abstract we need to be. When a child is 4 to 6 years old, you may start getting some questions, but you want to be abstract. It's good to be truthful, but you don't need to be graphic. If they ask where babies come from, you don't want to say, "The stork." Then they'll wonder why you're hanging out with the stork. "Kids have a hard time learning about how things work in life," says Dr. Phil, so it's important to "give them anatomically correct answers." Answer kids on their level in terms they can understand with accurate information. Use age-appropriate pictures to explain how things work. Also, they may know more than you think they do. An example of being truthful and accurate while being abstract is to say, "Babies come from me. Daddy helps and we make a baby together." Often, you'll find that that's enough to say at that age. Until they're 9 or 10 and approaching puberty, you usually don't want to get graphic by talking about sexual penetration because it can scare them.

Children Approaching Puberty
At this stage, it's important to introduce the concepts of love, relationships, marriage, and other things that are important in your family's value system. Explain that sex happens within that context. It's not outdated to have this conversation. They are going to get this information, whether it's from you, the media or a different source.

It's also very important at this stage that you figure out how much they know already before you start talking. Maybe they'll ask where babies come from or something else specific. You can begin by asking, "Can you tell me what you think?"

Answer 3

Well, you should have started years ago and the standard answer is to answer the questions HONESTLY as they come up. Also make sure your answer really gives what he needs. Sometimes they don't need all the details yet, but 10 is a good age and if you shut down his questions now, he'll be less likely to ask when he's older and that information is critical.

Remember, everytime you give a fact, you can also teach your morals towards sex.

If you don't know where to start, there are great books available that are written for that age.

I would start by describing what physical changes he can expect over the next few years including body odor, acne, hair growth and pubic growth. Then ask him what questions he has, and answer them.

Don't get preachy. He is only 10. Do explain such curiosity is normal. Try to use the real words, like vagina and penis and not resort to slang, though you can explain what slang words mean what real parts if he asks.

Again, be honest and talk to his level.

Be glad he asks you instead of his friends who are libel to give him a lot of bad answers.

Answer 4

My son was about 7 when he asked me where babies came from. I got out a health book and we talked a little about it (not too deep). He did not think much of it. A couple of years later I asked him if he remember our talk and he said he did.
He is 13 now and in middle school, they had sex education this semester, he told me about it and how the kids in the class carrying on like a bunch of nuts. When some of the kids asked you why was his problem, he told them that he new all that stuff when he was 7. You should know you child enough to be able to give him enough info. If he wants more, tell him more. My son knows about sex, but does not know what is meant by 'birds and bees'. When I was his age, I hear of 'birds and bees', never did understand it. I had to learn it from other kids in a not so nice way.

Answer 5

I think kids should be taught about something as soon as they ask about it. You don't have to go into extreme detail, but give him an honest answer to what he asked.

My son asked how I got a baby in my belly when I was pregnant with my second child and I told him that in order for a baby to be made you need a mommy and a daddy that love each other so much they want to have children to love too. Then I told him generally how a man fertilizes the woman's egg to begin a baby growing.... I didn't give any graphic detail at the time.... he was three and a half, but I did give him the specific mechanics of the egg and sperm coming together to start a baby growing inside mommy's body.

Not long after our first conversation and after we could feel the baby moving around, my son and I were watching a nature show where lions were mating and he asked what they were doing and I told him that they were making baby lions. And he was like, "wow! so lions do that too... just like you and Dad?" and I said "Yep, most animals make babies that same way."

Then when I was pregnant with my third child, I heard him explaining where babies come from to his little sister and I had to make sure he didn't give her too much informaiton... so we all had lots of conversations about babies.

If you treat the subject as something that he shouldn't be afraid to talk about, he'll always come to you with those sort of questions. If you avoid answering him or seem reluctant to talk about those things, he'll start to think his questions are abnormal and he may be ashmed to talk to you about sex. Then he'll seek other sources of answers that most likely aren't exactly the best.

Protect your son, be honest with him.

Answer 6

Why don't you go to the liberary and rent a movie. When I was in school, in the 50's and 60's we had some great movies in health class. I am sure they are still around somewhere. Also they have great movies, on the growth of a baby while in the mothers stomach. They are all done by medical professionals. Ask you doctor maybe he can point you in the right direction.

Answer 7

I was never given the 'b&b' speech, but was told flat out...Even at 10, children do need to know these days. There are 11-12 year old that are already having sex because their parents don't take the time to sit down and talk with them. Just try to be creative and answer any questions he may have...

Answer 8

Ok, honey, it's not the "birds and the bees"...it is biology. It is sex/sexuality. If he is old enough to ask the questions he is old enough to get the answers.

Start with the correct terminology...penis, vagina, semen, sperm, etc. Tell him the basic biological facts, then talk to him honestly and openly about sexuality. About relationships, love, marriage, babies, etc.

If you need help, your local library should have a kid friendly book on the subject.

Answer 9

just be up front and honest; giving him as much information as needed but not overwhelming him. an example would be as follows. when two people are attracted to each other (usually a man and a woman)<<(you can phrase this as you choose fit)they decide to be together in a way that makes another little person. you can tell him about the private parts as in the virgina and the penis and how they were meant to go together and sometimes when they do; a baby starts forming ... tell him about the egg and sperm... it is not so hard... just be honest and to the point...

Answer 10

Tell him the birds and bees both want something sweet that they can only get once they reach their special flower. The birds want nectar and the bees want pollen. . . The bird gets the nectar for pleasure but the bees use the pollen to make honey. . and, that's what he is Honey. . *smiles*

Answer 11

my son is ten as well and is curious too and how ive gone about explaining it too him is this, he'll ask me questions and i'll answer with an age appropriate answer.don't go to him let him come to you.you should know how much detail he needs by way his questions are being asked be as honest as you can , and remember that you will probably have several conversations about this subject ,so show no fear and brave these new waters you have'nt hit the rapids yet.