Ok, I met this guy online from yahoo personal and on my chat room buddylist., but he has a real bad depression like gets panic attacks when around crowded people. I like him and he likes me we been thinking about each other sexually sometimes. I am worried about him and wants to meet me and can't wait but only problems is that he has really bad depression problems. I don't know what to do should I move on or what? Can you guys help me in someway? Please give me some good reason. Thanks.
2006-06-25 08:05:58 · 32 answers · asked by debbard22 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm willing to bet that having a relationship with someone whom he can trust will help to alleviate some of his maladies. His show of honesty and trust towards you may have been difficult for him. He has opened up to you because he likes you and wants you to like him for him not some pretty picture he made up. We're not talking a sociopath or pedophile. But as with anyone you meet on the net, a few keystrokes cannot possibly define a person. Not exactly a safe bet for anyone looking for a partner. However, it may be the easiest if he does have social anxiety. Good luck
2006-06-25 08:18:46 · answer #1 · answered by cuv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear about that! I know first-hand how much social anxiety can screw up your life. I have it, too, but somehow I can keep it under control. I know the feeling of walking in an open space and just being so worried about how you look to others, and being so self-aware, that you are ALWAYS keeping track of how you look and sound to others. It really takes up your life and consumes you. I hate to say this, but I have just dealt with and lived with it. It is really hard to find a significant other this way, or any friends for that matter , like you said. Sometimes I feel like it's such a waste of life to be this way, and it really is, because we're not contributing our uniqueness to the world, we're just scared to show ourselves to people. It's no way to live, and we should be proud to show off who we are and be open and let people in. I really hope you have the courage to open up to people, just try it out one day. Do something one day that you don't normally do, then maybe you'll get the courage to do ONE MORE thing you wouldn't normally do. Then hopefully, eventually you will be at the point where you are more outgoing and able to communicate better. Gradually do this, and see what happens. Good luck, and just DON'T think suicidal. There are people JUST LIKE YOU, same problems, walking among you, and you don't even know it. With some help , you can get better FOR SURE. it's all about your mind-set. tell yourself you can do this... try and change your outlook on things... if none of this works you really need some medication. i have been on zoloft and it helped SO MUCH. i felt soooooooo normal and confident!!! if you really need meds I would talk to your parents... well i wish you luck!!! you're not alone ! :) i hope i made sense.. i'm so tired hahaaa
2016-03-27 03:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is what the world has a problem with people who back away from people who need help he did not ask to have a depreshion yes he needs help but why walk away. He was olnly trying to move on with his life just like everybody else. Would it be better if he didn't say anything at all vs to tell the truth he was just being honest and that is a great step and hard to say to sombody. He can be a great perrson too. I think you should go out with him meet him and date him for a while and see how thing are before you break up or even find another. Yes it will be a challege and hard but i think he needs that confidance that he found someone who cares. take care and good luck
2006-06-25 08:22:33 · answer #3 · answered by jpaone1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are ways to test the waters so to speak wo getting burned if the water is to hot for you.. first think about this logically and think about the big picture. I dont know your current situation if its only you have to worry about or if you have kids or not. But if you have kids that need your full attention that taking on another person with depression issues would drain you emotionally and also call for an adjustment from your kids that they may not be ready for. IF no kids are in this picture than you need to accept him for all the flaws he has.. thats what people do and know that you can not change this or fix this for him. You cant rescue him from his depression ..depression needs to be treated by a professional and you need to know exactly how his moods will affect you. IF he is being treated professionaly I would take the time to ask how bad his case is. It can work for you but obviously you will need help from either a cousler or support group.
2006-06-25 08:14:33 · answer #4 · answered by trudie_barraza 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he has social anxiety and panic attacks...I would be afraid he would be VERY introverted, and not meet your needs.
I would tend to think that this would make him a very controlling, domineering person, and he might try to convert you into his private lifestyle, and limit you from having friends, etc.
My advice would be to not fall in love with words on a screen, and try to find a local guy.
If you ever DID decide to meet this guy, make sure it's in a public location, and actually, not too close to your house.
Make sure someone (a girlfriend would be best) is with you, and that people know where you're going.
If he has these problems, and admits it, whose not to say whether or not he is stable enough for a relationship right now?
Scary to me. I'd distance myself.
2006-06-25 08:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
And you need these problems why? Hon there is a very low success rate with online dating now Im not talking about throu some of the dating services I think they are ok u know? But Im talking about ppl who hook up on there own MOST ppl are not very truthful about alot of theirselves and it just doesn't work so do urself a favor hun DONT set yourself up for a letdown or for problems. I would be afraid that someone with those type of problems would judt be adding more problems for myself (and to be honest with you hon i suffer from manic depression we have alot of issues dear)
2006-06-25 08:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by Angel B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously, he had a problem. Something it sounds like, that can be "fixed".
If your heart is telling you, you need to keep your distance due to his issues, you probably should.
The reason why is b/c sometimes, when people are depressed, they turn into monsters, not knowing what they are capable of doing to others.
Get to know him better, if you meet him, meet him in a public place.
As for sexually, I think you should wait it out till you feel comfortable enough.
I wouldn't dispense him , just get to know him better.
2006-06-25 08:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by MB H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on.
With your knowledge of the guy, you will only be looking for problems, unless you think that you can help him as a doctor.
It will be like a person in an abusive relationship, who leaves one day and returns the other.
Maybe you can get him some professional help.
Think.
2006-06-25 08:15:23 · answer #8 · answered by awaxa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on. I think if the problem are there from the start then it will only get worst as time goes on. listen to your innner voice that is telling you this is a situation that wont work out.
2006-06-25 08:10:33 · answer #9 · answered by D C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to have him bringing you down and believe me his depressions will make you feel depressed alot as well. Do you want that for yourself.
Someone once said a crazy person will make a sane person crazy.
2006-06-25 08:10:47 · answer #10 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋