My girlfriend recently lost her father in a long battle with throat cancer. She is 21. I have tried many things to help her including going out to see her several times this summer (she lives 9 hours away from me). I just feel like i can't say anything to make it better and she isn't open about her feelings to anyone else. She feels like no one cares about how she is now that it is a couple months after his death, but isnt willing to let anyone know that she is struggling. I am really worried that she might go into deep depression and make her situation worse. I just need some suggestions on how i might encourage her or how i can convince her to talk to a counseler or therapist if there really isn't anything i can do. Also, what could i do to help or encourage her mother or brothers and sisters?
thanks a lot for your responses
2006-06-25 07:50:12 · 9 answers · asked by DevelopmentArrested 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You're a good man. I admire you through sticking with her through the worst of times, when many a man would shy away.
The best thing to do, is to be proactive.
Flowers at her job, constant calls and "just thinking of you cards".
When the time is right, and she mentions how no one cares, explain to her that YOU do, and YOU would like to see her talk to a professional, and that YOU would even go with her if she'd like.
It's times like this that can define a relationship.
Best of luck!
2006-06-25 07:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 0⤋
It happens to everyone, and everyone has a different way of pursuing their feelings. She hides them and that is a natural way to do it. And if you really try to get her into therapy or counseling it will make her feel a lot worse, trust me one day she WILL want to talk about it with you, but until that day you should leave her be. And the best thing you could do for her family is not to bring it up, make them laugh, and you and them will get threw it.
2006-06-25 07:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by alexandra m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After a death there really isn't much you can do. Just be there to listen whenever she needs to talk. Try to understand how painful this is on her and her family. Sounds like you are already doing all you can, that is great. She probably doesn't need therapy, just time. It will get better as time passes.
2006-06-25 07:56:10 · answer #3 · answered by sceptileptic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure she knows that you will be there for her and talk to her. Besides that, there is really nothing you can do. She has to work out her lost on her own and when she's ready to talk, she will.
Same goes for her family. When you do go and visit her, you can help her mom around the house, maybe bring up some really good stories about their dad. Its nice to her really nice stories about the people you've lost. It reminds you of how happy they were when they were here.
Just be there. thats the best you can do.
2006-06-25 07:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by lemonheads 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your girlfriends case she probably does need counseling. You continue to be there for her. Keep encouraging her. If she refuses to go to counseling, tell her that you would go with her. Surprise her with some roses one day. Take her out, go on a shopping spree, do things to make her laugh. Talk to a minister.
2006-06-25 08:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by lhpretty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they should get family counseling. try to convince her mom that you are really concerned for their family as a whole. I don't think you can say anything to make your girlfriend feel better just be there for her like you are doing now. Good Luck.
2006-06-25 08:00:08 · answer #6 · answered by sleeplessdreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too lost my father a couple of years ago..its not that shes not responding to your consideration..but she needs time to heal..it may not seem like you arent doing anything to help ..but just knowing you are there by her side ..that she will notice even if you do live 9hrs away
2006-06-25 13:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by chat girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people deal with death in different ways.Maybe you could contact a grievance counselor and ask for some advice.
2006-06-25 07:55:01 · answer #8 · answered by LUNCHY THE PIRATE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you dont have to say to show encourage and support
just stay there for here for her.show that you care,she will understand.
and i think she needs support than encourage now...
2006-06-25 07:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by Annie R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋