To spank or not to spank?

Question

Last night I went out to the club with my sister and my friend and when I left my 2 year old daughter with my roommate she was asleep. This morning my roommate tells me that while she was in the shower last night, my daughter decided to go outside and run across the street to the neighbors house. All the locks were locked and she goes across the street to a neighbor who I have fallen out with, and tells them that "My momma left me!" Now this incident happend last night, should I still give her a spanking even though its the next day? I have already told her she cant go outside and play with her friends today, but I'm so furious that she ran outside in the middle of the night crying that I left her when the babysitter was there in the shower! What do I do, I am so embarrassed that this happend.

Answer 1

you need to talk to your daughter, why would you spank a 2 year old child when the baby doesnt even know what the hell she is doing. she was right, mommy did leave her, you never told herwhere you were going or who is watching her, so it is your fault. you should have talked to your child and not leave without letting her know that you will be back.talk to your child next time this happens, let her kow that mommy will be back and she needs to stay with whoever you left her with. how would you feel if your child just got up and took off wothout telling you, it will scare you too that you would go ask the neighbor where she is,so see it goes both ways.

Answer 2

I feel that it is far too late to spank her now. Yes you should have last night or when she first got up, but not now. She should not be allowed to have any fun for the next couple of days though, just so that she will know that what she did was really really bad. Someone caould have called the authorities. I have a co-worker who is trying to get her grandson back from the foster care system now, because her daughter left him with a babysitter while she was at work, and he was asleep, so the sitter decided to take a nap too. When she woke up, the little boy, only 3, had climbed out of the window and walked all the way up the street to the store. He has been in foster care for 16 weeks, and still has another 16 weeks until they can get him back. They can't even have unsupervised visits with him, and they can only see him once a week and talk to him on the phone only once a week.
You really need to make her understand how serious it is.

Answer 3

Seeing as the child is still so young, she probably won't even remember why she is getting into trouble (the next day). I don't believe in spanking. Using a stern voice when the child has done something wrong is the best way to go. At a young age the child will remember the tone of your voice the next time they try to do the same thing, that is not allowed. Also your sitter should know to have the child in bed and asleep before taking a shower. If you believe in spanking a child, this should be done lightly (to hurt the feelings, not the bottom) at the time the incident took place. Otherwise the child will not know why you are spanking, and could take it for a "wrong" meaning of something she is doing at the time.

Answer 4

You are talking about a two years old! Understand that this is a very young child! You should understand that first of all it's a strange story that the babysitter obviously didn;t hear her, the child might be afraid and felt alone without you.
Maybe she was even in panick.

Don't spank her for that!
You can have a little talk to her that she must not go outside in the middle of the night, but have the talk in a sweet way instead of in an angry way.

Again, this is a two years old little child you are talking about, you cannot make her responsible for the fact that the babysitter took a shower and nobody was there to take care for her!

Answer 5

Hmmm. Thats a hard one. Well, since she is only 2 years old I would say that since the incident occured last night, if you spanked her now she probbably wouldnt understand why she was getting spanked. But the next time she did it I would spank her. I dont like to spank my daughter, I rather slap her on the hand. But I mean when its a serious situation, like running outside across the street, then a spanking isnt a bad idea. Good luck with the little one:) They can be tough:)

Answer 6

She's too young to understand the day after why you're punishing her. Next time you leave her with someone, I'd alert them about her tendency to execute a Houdini-like task of unlocking doors and running outside. Tell your caregiver what you'd like him/her to do if your child does such a thing again.

I have a 3yr old son and he LOVES to open doors. I also have a 1 yr old daughter and it's IMPERATIVE that he learns he cannot do things that put him into harm's way...especially when my attention is divided between two kids who are still very dependent on me.

We have to take those plastic door knob covers every where so he can't get outside (we live on a busy street). Those have helped. But, I he also knows that if he escapes, he'll get a little pinch on his shoulder immediately. When I leave him with our babysitter, I tell her exactly what is to transpire if he does that and make sure she's okay with giving him little pinch.

With our feisty 2-yr old...I've found the only form of discipline that is undesirable is that of the physical kind. They're too young to "reason" with. And, a stern "no" or timeout is laughable to my strong-willed boy. Pinching has been LOT more effective than spanking, in my opinion. And, you can still do it in the store (when they do most of their manipulating of you) and judgmental onlookers won't even know what you just did. Oh, and I've never had a problem with him pinching others, if you use it effectively and consistently (and not too much), he knows the difference.

Good luck!!

P.S. You may call me a sick, bastard of a parent for pinching my son after he takes off from me in a parking lot when my hands have my infant daughter in one arm and a bag of groceries in another. Funny thing is...he only did this sort of thing a handful of times and that was it. He still stops and says, "Mommy, I love you" while he's collecting rocks in our backyard. He gives me hugs voluntarily, says "bless you, mommy" when I sneeze and covers his mouth when he coughs. I hardly think he's abused or that his spirit has been stifled.

Answer 7

If you left while your daughter was asleep, no, she had no way of knowing that when she woke up, you wouldn't be there. She was scared that no adults were around, so she went to the only other adult she knew.

No, I don't think you should spank her. Negative punishment usually doesn't work with children -- you should be firm, serious and consistent, telling her that it is dangerous to run across the street, and that she shouldn't be scared because she should always go somewhere with an adult -- remind her that the adult was in the shower because [the roomie] thought she was asleep.
That way she'll be reassured that she's never alone and hopefully she won't do it again.

Hope this helps...

Answer 8

How do you ground a 2 yr old? I don't know about your kids, but the baby that I raise is about to turn 3 and she doesn't go outside and play with anyone. She has friends of course, but they are my friends kids and they come over or we go to the park or something. And why would you spank her for what she did? She woke up, no adults were around, so she went next door and told a neighbor. Isn't that what you would want her to do? I would hope that if my baby woke up and she was "alone" she would tell someone, too.

Answer 9

I think that you should be watchful of what your daughter is doing and make it off limits for her to open the door at any time. When she goes against that rule then spank her. But as for now sit her down and talk and explain to her what she did wrong and make sure she in return she is able to express what the wrong was. This may take some time if you are not use to going over things in such manner. But if you keep up with it when ever she does something wrong you be able to start a pattern and maybe correct the problem and keep it from reoccurring.

Answer 10

In the Bible it says, "He that spareth the rod, spoils the child." That means that you should discipline her. I was spanked as a kid with a paddle, because hands are for showing love not discipline. Never hit her with your hand. Because of her age, I'd say use a wooden spoon. Doesn't hurt as much, yet gets the point across. But before you spank her, tell her why you are doing it so that she doesn't think she's just getting a spanken because mommy hates her. You might have to do it more than once if she keeps disobeying, but once you break her will, she'll stop.