am i chasing a dream?

Question

ive been single for nearly a year and it is partly out of choice, ive made a pack to myself to not date rubbish guys who have baby mums, sell drugs, live at home with their mum or dont have ambition. i want a guy whos not going to physical or verbally abuse me just treat me like a queen, my friend says im searching for something that doesnt exsist because i genarally only date black guys and theirs no good black men left their either got kids, in prison or with white women. am i really chasing a dream?

Answer 1

YOU ARE NOT CHASING A DREAM...YOU ARE CHASING A REALITY.. stick to your guns. you are in the right direction and don't settle for less. good luck

Answer 2

How old are you? Not that age really matters...to be honest what really matters is what makes you happy in the end. There are so many people out there who work in crappy jobs and wish they were doing something else. I am one of those people. I have been dreaming about opening my own home daycare and I never went ahead with it for years until just recently I decided to take charge in my life and by June I will have what I have always dreamt of. I am engaged and believe me when I say this...guys can be very selfish & clueless to what we want and need. We love them but sometimes we gotta push them and make them understand what is important. Now I don't know if you are in a serious relationship or not but if you are and your partner doesn't want you to leave or is afraid long distance relationship won't work then he was never right for you in the first place. If I was in your shoes and I needed to go to another country to follow my dreams and it would benefit both me and my partner. Trust me we would make it work. Either we would move (if it was serious) or if the relationship wasn't too serious, then he would come see me every chance he can. Long distance relationships are hard, not only for your intimate relationships for also your friends and family. If you want to follow your dreams then you need to make the effort to keep in touch with the people you left behind so that they don't vanish from your life again. Now if you are not in a relationship then why are you worried? You can date when you are in the other country and you might even find the "one" there. New experiences open people up in a whole new way. It's what makes you live long and happy. Not sitting at home wondering how great it would be to do something different. Now if you are having doubts and do think about settling down often in the next 2 years or so then maybe you should stay where you are and make the best of what is available to you. Do you really need to move to another country to follow your dreams? What was the dream you are pursuing?

Answer 3

Nah, you're not chasing a dream. The strange thing is there will be a lot of people on here to tell you not to worry about race. Which is kinda true, but everyone has there own preferences. Sometimes you have to change what you're expecting on the outside from somebody to find what you want on the inside. Not saying that the two can't coincide, but if you exclude a whole portion of guys by what you see, then you may miss out on what your true dream is. Maybe guys who have what you want don't know that you want what they have. They're out there, you just have to look.

Answer 4

i think you should stop desperately waiting for "Mr Black Knight that will treat you like a queen" to come along. Open your mind and date every colour of guy. Stop sitting there waiting for him to come along. Its tragic and pathetic. Mr Right will come along when you stop looking/waiting for him to fall at your feet. Your mate is right, you are chasing a dream. The image that you have created will never come real cos you wont give anyone a chance as they wont be good enough/live up to your expectations. Just let go, chill out and see what happens. Otherwise you are gonna end up really lonely and bitter.

Answer 5

How do you know that you are worth dating?
Why would you attract these types?

What im saying is, maybe you should look in the mirror, rather than trying to get rid of "rubbish", maybe you should work on yourself, your body, education..etc.
No guy is going to treat anyone "like a queen".
Why don't you settle for love.

Get out and travel, away from that environment.

If for example you live in a trash can, work in a trash can and spend all your time in a trash can...guess what....you are trashy and will attract trash.

No offense, if u wait for Mr Right in a trash can, you are bound to attract a trash collector.

And don't listen to the Politically Correct Patrol who will parrot the same "be patient, mr right is coming..." lines. He aint coming.

Work on yourself and get out there.

Answer 6

In short, YES.
Life is not what you would like it to be. It is complicated.
One has to realize that and accept changes, even though it may be for a while.
One can meet another and most requirements may fit to the glove and others don't. That is just the way it is.
You will never get all requirements fitting at all times.
With life, a person has to change everyday in some aspects in order to accomplish their goal for the day.
In other words, your boyfriend may be very loving in the morning when he leaves for work, and depending on his day at work, he may be so different in the evening when he returns.

Answer 7

One...you shouldn't just date black men..broaden your horizens you'll be surprised at what you might find. Two....no you're not chasing a dream. There are still some great men out there who happens to be black...their just hard to find. Stop looking so hard and he might pop up on your doorstep. Hell...I even know a few. And don't let anybody detour you cause like it has been said."in life I tend to find when you settle for anything less that's what you usually get." Reach for the stars girl! They are there.

Answer 8

Your friends are talking out of their backside, find new friends because they sure have low opinions of themselves. Your are right why do want someone who has kids all over the place, how irresponsible and selfish, whether they be black or white. In life never settle for second best, there are some decent men out there who will treat you the way you want to be treated. You will only be treated they way you allow yourself to be!

Answer 9

You know whats your problem, you are expecting to much and you maake it as your ground of having a relationship. Why dont you leave things easy, let it work as it is without any conditions. And try to date other peopl aside from black men then you'll have big chances to find the right guy for you but never ever based it or leave it to your expectations cos you'll going to ruin everything. Let it all be, it's more fun and excitng. Be yourself and t him be himself and see. maybe it will work and you'll just find the man that you've been lookin for.

Answer 10

Please don't say that there are no good Black men out there. I know it seems like slim pickins, but I truly believe that there are some good Black men who take care of their kids, hold down jobs and are capable of being faithful. I know a lot of people will say there aren't any, but pay them no mind. I'm sure some smart aleck will even say to get a white man. As if all white men behave like angels. Keep your head up, stick to your principles and pray that God will lead you to the right Black man for you. Peace.

Answer 11

Hun, there are many wonderful people out there who are just looking for someone as genuine as yourself...I would suggest you try making friends in different circles to where you usually mix...try a hobby or maybe a sports club...and look to making friends first before considering a relationship...I wish you well for that dream man..he certainly does exist so don't give up or settle for anything less than your desire and dream