I've heard women say that they like for a man to "take charge" when it comes to being in a relationship. But where does "in charge" become "abusive" and "over possessive." Because even though women say they like a "take charge man," there are women who will constantly battle back to take control of the relationship. I just want to know where the line is, in your opinion, and when it's been crossed.
2006-06-25 05:39:56 · 15 answers · asked by let_it_be_known1981 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"In Charge ", to some degree I would say, I like for my bf to take charge, when it comes to eating out and where we will eat, simple things. When it comes to finances, decisions to make that reflect us both, then no one is in charge.
I feel it is just a figure of speech. We don't mind him to take charge in the bedroom !
A relationship is not build on who controls it , it is based on love, understanding, honesty, trustworthy, and many more things. Who take control or takes charge is a thing of the past.
Women in the twentieth century are more independent than ever before. Because we don't want to be in a relationship with someone who feels they can control us :)
2006-06-25 05:46:31 · answer #1 · answered by young at heart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good question!
First of all, "in charge" for me means that he is in control of his actions and how it will affect the relationship. Also, what he does to make the relationship better.
Regarding people who have "control issues" All relationships should be 50/50. Alternative lifestyle relationships hold different values and cannot be put into the same category as a "normal" one.
Violence is NEVER the answer no matter what. Men should not be hitting women and women should not be hitting men. Verbal abuse is also wrong. Possesiveness is a sign of insecurity with one's self.
"Crossing the line" for me is when I get hit or get verbally abused, or my partner tries to force me to do somehting that I don't want to do. Don't forget No is No.
2006-06-25 05:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have nothing to hide from my husband, so I don't think we have a line. Either that, or he never crossed it! He knows that I still look at other guys, I may even flirt once in awhile, but that's just me! He isn't in charge of our relationship, I think it's 50/50. In fact, he may even tell you that I'm in charge. The bedroom is indeed his domain. That's where he is always in charge. Other than that, I have freedom because he knows he can trust me. He has the password to my voicemail, and we often use eachothers cell phones. We open eachother's mail, and know the same people. We don't always go out together, but we are always honest. He doesn't have a need to be jealous, or abusive. Some men feel they need to be that way no matter what. But, I've seen women that are crazy jealous, and women that like to hit their men, for whatever reason. It's all abuse if you ask me! I just have respect for him, and he has respect for me. It works for us, so yay for us, right? Lol.
2006-06-25 05:46:45 · answer #3 · answered by Aunt Sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think a take charge man should take charge of like the bills and where you eat out at but not what she wears or where she goes or any thing like that you should both be equaly in charge of all of that kind of stuff and you should never hit her or stop her from doing what she wants good luck
2006-06-25 05:52:12 · answer #4 · answered by crystal a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like my man to be in charge, but I like him to respect the fact that I have a brain too and an idea of what I want to do or how things should be. I want a man I can rely on, who will help out when I need help, be strong and caring when I need him to be. I don't want to feel I am on my own if something goes wrong. But I also need him to realise that I can cope on my own sometimes, and just because I am woman, it doesn't mean I am not capable.The line is crossed if he doesn't like me going out with friends and shows that he doesn't trust me; when he uses emotional blackmail to get me to do sth or to stop me doing sth; or if he gets violent. Nice questions btw.
2006-06-25 06:06:15 · answer #5 · answered by janey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For most sisters taking charge means taking charge of the finances. Paying the rent,car payment light and water bill etc. That's taking charge when you can do that then you are the MAN!!!
2006-06-25 06:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by mothers finest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I say "take charge" it doesn't mean be abusive or possessive it means make the decisions, don't be wishy washy and say "what ever you want dear". That is like UGH, so frustrating and such a turn off. Be decisive and a good leader and I'll be sure to follow.
Remember, confidence doesn't mean arrogance.
2006-06-25 05:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like my man to be of strong character, to be protective and alert to things that could harm the relationship.
I am my own person though and I don't want my man to be over bearing, possessive or controling. I can choose who I want to be friends with and where I want to go and with whom.
It all comes down to trust and loyalty. If you have that between you than everything else will fall into place.
2006-06-25 05:45:59 · answer #8 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMO I think in charge means as far as the progression of the relationship. I followed my husbands lead as far as our progression is concerened. But abuse we don't tolerate. That is completely unacceptable.
There are no shouting matches and we don't leave the house in the heat of an arguement. That is crossing the line. We play "Fight" but when one of us says "enough" that is what it is. You have to understand the barriers and boundaries in your relationship.
2006-06-25 05:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by mspettaway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like my man to be in charge! I'm in charge!
They generally mean, they want you to make the first moves, to occasionally say no, that sort of thing. Don't be mean and don't get angry or abusive and you'll be fine. :)
2006-06-25 05:43:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋