Emma is 23 yrs old has a 60yr old mother,and she has to ask if she can go out,and she is working,but has to have permission to do anything,she is vertually a prisoner in her own home, is this right?
2006-06-25 04:52:58 · 24 answers · asked by brianterry394 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, of COURSE not - this is not a question of "right" and "wrong" .... it's a question of whether Emma can stand up for herself and cross over from child to adult. (Whose "home" by the way ?) If Emma is in her own home, then she is only "virtually a prisoner" if she chooses to be. If she is still, at age 23, in her mother's home, then she has to deal with the fact that her mother makes the rules in her own household. If Emma is living in mom's house, working, and NOT paying rent, utilities, and food to her mother, then she is completely subject to her mom's rules. (So I suspect Emma is living in mom's home under "free" circumstances.) Emma can't have it both ways - she doesn't get to be an adult and still live off her mother like she is a child. It's one or the other. She either gets out and lives on her own like an adult or she pays her mother fair market value for rent, fair market value for utilities, and $300-$400 for her contribution toward to grocery bill. If she does one of those two things, she can demand her status as an adult.
2006-06-25 05:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Emma if 23, therefore stronger, fitter and more powerfull then her 60 year old mother so time she employed that power to alter the balance of power.
yes she may have a job but so what? You seen the prices of rent and houses... ie average wage £14,000 if she is lucky, house £350,000 do the maths.
So she don't ask she tells the mother she is going out of shoves her out of the way.
Her mother's existance is to help her find guys and have a socail life and help her get her independance...
So why didn't the mother send her to self defence lessons so by the time she reached 17 she could snap a guys neck and be walking off before the body hit the ground... Therefore mummy dearest would not have to be worried about her...
No eveil scummy parents don't do that as they like their kids weak and dependant on them...
So why then does the mother not help Emma get a raise so she can afford a new place and live on her own or help her out that way?
Emma need to work out she has power and should be stronger physically then the 60 year old and use that to negotiate a new balance.
Yes it would be grea in a perfect world for a 23 year old to have her own place but the government does not introduce and force a minumum wage high enough for all young people to be able to do that.
And see enough houses are built to do that too.
Emma needs to be in a flat mate house were she can have parties to mature... So mother should help her do that...
If she loved her.
In the mean time help her get boyfriends and yes be able to bring them back home... which should help her find her own place.
Emma needs some confidence building, try self defence and assertiveness training then help to find a better paying job...
Then get out away from mom who clearly don't love her
2006-06-25 05:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Joey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is bothering Emma so much, then she should save up some money and get her own apartment. I am 23 now and I moved out of my mother's house when I was 17 because I couldn't deal with all the rules.
2006-06-25 04:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but being an older mother she will worry more. Are you sure Emma has to ask to go out or just let her Mom know when she's going and where to. She is just being protective.
Somtimes Emma might say she can't go out because her Mother doesn't want her to, but in reality she just doesn't want to go and it's an excuse.
If it's as you are saying can't Emma find her own place, it's not unheard of for a working 23 year old.
2006-06-25 04:58:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jayne 2 (LMHJJ) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but if it is the mother's home, the daughter must abide by the rules. If she doesn't like it, she can move out and get her own place (like most 23-year-olds would do)
Maybe on some level she likes being treating like a 5 year old???
2006-06-25 05:31:34 · answer #5 · answered by Mistress T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At the age of 23 she should be an independent adult.
I suggest that since daughter is employed, she should move out and live her own life in any way she thinks fit (within the law of the land).
2006-06-25 04:58:34 · answer #6 · answered by Kreb D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she should be treated like a 23 year old. The best thing she can do is to move out.
2006-06-25 05:00:21 · answer #7 · answered by corleonelover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Emma wnts to be treated like an adult rather than a child, then she should act like an adult. SHE'S 23 for pete's sake grow up and move out on her own already. She should be able to support her own self!!!!!!
2006-06-25 06:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by Auntiem115 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, her mother should treat her like an adult. She should move out. Maybe her mother is tired of her living at home and thinks she is acting like a child.
If she must live at home they need to get together and agree on some rules so they can treat each other like adults. More like a landlord-tenant kind of contract.
2006-06-25 04:59:32 · answer #9 · answered by Diane D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's Emma's fault. At 23 she should be living on her own and making her own decisions. If she can support herself she needs to move out and live her own life.
2006-06-25 04:58:29 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋