Really need some
2006-06-25 04:29:40 · 12 answers · asked by Daydreamer 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
how do you get a black man out of a tree? you cut the rope
2006-06-25 04:32:21 · answer #1 · answered by kevman0713 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 men arrive at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks them how they died.
The first man: "I know my wife was cheating on me, so I come home and find here still naked in bed. So I tore through the apartment and find the guy hanging from the balcony. So I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him, but had a heart attack from it and must have died."
The second man: "I was working on the roof of this apartment building when the scaffolding broke and I fell. Luckily, I managed to grab onto a balcony and stop my fall. Next thing I know a refrigerator is coming down on top of me."
The 3rd man: "I was in this refrigerator..."
2006-06-25 13:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Need Samples
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
Insults Jokes
Yo mamma so fat that when she wears a yellow coat people call TAXI!
What do you call a man with no testicles?
A woman.
What do you call a woman with two testicles?
Michael Jackson.
2006-06-25 14:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by jummybaibey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
John was reading a news paper on a sunday morning when his dog, Shaggy, just passed him by with a dead rabbit in its mouth. It was nothing but the guy next door Peter's pet rabbit.. Peter was one strong guy who enjoyed fighting with everybody. John was so aware of the consequences if Peter would find this out. He took the rabbit out of Shaggy's mouth and washed it with an expensive shampoo and used a hair-dryer to make it look normal with no blood on it. Then he carefully combed the dead creature.. He then put the rabbit back in its cage.. In the evening, Peter, who looked freaked out, came to John's place...
Peter - I still can't believe what happened..
John - Oh... errr... Wh . what is it?
Peter - You remember my one and only pet?
John - how can i forget such sweet lil' thing?
Peter - Well... It died this morning and I buried it at the back yard.. Somebody digged it out, washed it and put it back in its cage...Wonder who that psych is.....!
2006-06-25 11:57:05 · answer #4 · answered by Teejay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knock Knock
whos there
doris
doris shut thats why i knocked!
When does Christmass come before thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!
Why do girls have small feet?
to stay closer to the oven!
2006-06-25 11:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by Jesica Lopez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two marijuana leaves walk into a bar and order a couple of beers.They soon notice a couple of Viagra pills whispering and laughing at them. One of the marijuana leaves says to the Viagra pills, "What are you snickering at"?
One of the pills cackles,"You, because you're illegal".
Marijuana leaf responds,"You don't think we should be legal?"
The Viagra pills explode into laughter, "Hell no. We're hard on drugs"
2006-06-26 11:15:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm heres a good one dont know if youve heard it before. ok how does a turtle without no legs cross the freeway?......
hint: take the F out of free and the F out of way
answer: there aint no F in' way
2006-06-25 12:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by country_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 goats broke into a movie theater and start to munch on films.
Goat1: How's the movie?
Goat2: It's ok, I like the book better.
2Hydrogen atoms walk down the street.
H1: I think I lost my electron
H2: Are you sure?
H1: I am positive!
2006-06-25 11:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a cab driver picks up a nun at 2 am.....its dark and quiet and they drive along, but the driver keeps checking her out in the mirror. 10 minutes later he says out "I have a confession nun, i have always wanted to know what it is like to kiss a nun."
The nun smiled and said "only on two conditions....you must be catholic and not married."
the driver says yes, and they kiss....long and soft.
they drive right along and 10 minutes later the driver starts crying and confesses "I lied nun, i am jewish and married....i am so sorry"
the nun smiles and says "thats ok son, my name is dave and i am going to a holloween party."
2006-06-27 03:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by indiancheef 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Story with a moral- my Girl friend called me to her house one day.I went there and found her sister alone in the house.she was unbelievably sexy than my girl friend.She whispered in my ear ," I have feelings for you ,make love to me once" I turned around & walked to thefront door towards my car.Amazingly I found my girl friend standing there and she hugged me and said ," u have won my trust"MORAL-IT IS ALWAYS BETTER 2 KEEP THE CONDOMS IN THE THE CAR & NOT IN WALLET.ENJOY IT ?
2006-06-25 12:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by shri 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋