I don't want to upset my father in law, but neither he or my husband stand up to her.. If I say something she just lashes out or storms away ignoring me and not wanting to confront the situation. Any advice out there?
2006-06-25 04:26:06 · 13 answers · asked by danni 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This will be a difficult situation, and I understand what you're going through. Your hubby needs to understand that even though she is his mother, you are his wife. If it continues, sooner or later he may have to make a choice between his mom and you. I would say that if she doesn't want to talk and try to settle things, then talk to your husband and father-in-law and tell them that you won't have anything to do with her until she chills out. Although you haven't done anything to her, this may call for you to give her "a taste of her own medicine". I've never liked this approach, but you're pretty much limited when they won't even make an effort to talk to you. Pride is a terrible thing. It'll probably get worse before it gets better. Hopefully eventually after everything is settled, she just may grow to be very fond of you. Think things thorough, don't do anything on impulse....you'll be ok. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-06-25 04:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The best thing to do is let your husband handle the problem. If he can't then I would talk to his dad and see what the problem is with her. More than likely this problem will never stop until one of them sit down and talk to her. I have been there before. Any which way you go someone is going to get upset and hurt. But if you don't take care of this it will only get worse. I just thank God that I don't have to put up with that anymore. Hope you have good luck.
2006-06-25 15:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by crystal and tommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep. The men in that family have been pussie whipped so long they will not say a word (been there, done that) and mama always gets her way. "Peace at any price" is what it's called and it's a lot of b.s. Honey, I hate to break it to you, but she will NEVER change. You're only hope is to give your husband a set of balls for Christmas and wait for him to use them. It's HIS MOTHER. You shouldn't have to say a thing. He should.
Since I learned this from experience, I just stopped going to any family functions at their house. Makes them wonder why you won't come. Hubby can go alone. When she misbehaves, leave. Soon she will get the message and so will hubby. She will be forced to be nice, or you and hubby take off and go home.
2006-06-25 11:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the men in your life will most likely not change, nor will your mother-in-law. Your best recourse is to simply inform her you will not allow her to treat you in such a manner and then remove yourself from the situation. Perhaps your show of indifference will encourage your husband and his father to become more assertive in dealing with her, but don't hold your breath and don't stoop to her level. Above all keep the lines of communication open with your father-in-law.
2006-07-03 12:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by fivestarmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know what ignore her..........but not just ignore her a bit i mean make believe she dont exist if she talks to you keep walking like she is not there... dont talk to her dont talk about her imagine she is invisible...and i bet that is going to get her to talk about you with your father in law and husband and you will simply say....to her i dont exist and i decided that works for me... you and her dont even have to exchange words...that is very disrepectful what she does to you.. storming away and ignoring her you do the same but make it better pufffffff make her disappear.and you will see if she gives you attention or not sooner or later she will. people with attitude problems hates it when they are ignore because if you really and truly ignore her how the hell she is going to let you know she hates you....try it for a few days and see wht happends.......and you tell your family this is how you can cope with her hate towards you,and it have nothing to do with them,good luck honey i feel for you.
2006-06-25 11:40:20 · answer #5 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you seem to be in this alone, stand you ground, but do it in a respectful manner, even if she doesn't deserve it.
After a while, she'll get the message that you are not to be played with, even if your father in law & husband are!
2006-06-25 11:33:02 · answer #6 · answered by M J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need not fix it, you have to accept that people though they are old there level of understanding is not like yours this is a concrete example of diversity of attitude.
Get ride when this kind of people, don't try to hard to reach them for they will cause you pain, go on deal with people with good attitude, ignore her ........ show to her that your dry oftentimes that works
2006-06-25 11:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to your husband to handle the situation. It's his mother and his first loyalty is to you. He should tell her that if she wants to see him again, she will have to behave herself. She doesn't want to let go of her little boy.
2006-06-25 11:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start giving positive strokes,
Keep giving whatever you can which pleases her
Win her heart through love, affection, concern care!
2006-07-05 08:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
EITHER STAND UP TO HER YOURSELF AND FACE IT...AVOID HER LIKE THE PLAGUE..OR YOU'LL HAVE TO KEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT AND LIVE WITH IT. SHAME ON YOUR HUSBAND FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
2006-07-04 15:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋