he is courting me and i don't know if i'm going to say YES to him or NOT because i'm not sure if he's really for me.
2006-06-25 03:18:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you want to know for sure before you even start a relationship, all I can suggest is a lot of thought and prayer. But most of us make lots of mistakes with the wrong person before finding the right one, so I wouldnt be surprised if you did the same. Just have faith that there is at least one guy out there who IS right for you, and see all your relationships as an application process, the resume looks good, so now you're doing a series of interviews and some training before you decide whether or not to give them tenure. I have always seen dating as a method of discovering whether or not you want to be with a person for the rest of your life.
2006-06-25 03:23:30 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, there's no way to know if he's THE ONE for you until you get to know him, and that takes time. In the beginning of all relationships, we all put our "best foot forward". This means, more precisely, that we only show our best side. Over time, however, as we become more and more comfortable with eachother, that "best" side slips away and the "REAL" side surfaces. So anything worth having is worth an investment of your time. I really wish I could tell you that there was some magic potion or secret spell, but the TRUTH is, therre isn't. The closest thing, though, is prayer. So, I would start an earnest prayer asking God to help you decipher who the right man for you would be. Another very helpful thing that I have found, is to keep a "Pro's" and "Con's" list. So on a piece of paper, draw a line down the center. Put "PRO" on the left side, and "CON" on the right side. As you spend time with this guy, list his good qualities on the left and the not so good ones on the right. This will help you see and to make up your mind more easily. Above all else, though, proceed with caution and GUARD YOUR HEART!! Good Luck, sweetie!
2006-06-25 10:30:30 · answer #2 · answered by crazynays 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there has to be a real connection between the two of u... i dont know how to explain it really.. u both have to feel like there's no one else for you, and if ur unsure, well i dont really think he would be the one for you... my bf and i had only been talking for a couple of months before we started going out but we both felt a strong connection between us.. we were both looking for the same thing and we have so much in common it's unbelieveable.. but we felt that connection.. when u feel it, well, u'll know whether he's the one for u or not... u might be a little different to us, where u need time to grow that connection between u, but i still think that u should be feeling something different if he IS meant for u... dont let him pressure u into anything as it's purely ur choice.. and definitely do NOT go for the guilty 'yes' because that's just gonna be a problem filled relationship from the start. u need to feel comfortable with him and feel like there's no one else for u, otherwise the relationship isnt going to keep up...it's purely ur decision tho... does his personality contrast with urs, or does it clash? do u like the same things? do u have similar opinions on certain things? dont be afraid to be ur own person still.. choose wisely
2006-06-25 10:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by bellydancer_1989 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only do I believe it is impossible to know if he is the one before entering a relationship, I believe it takes considerable time to know for sure.
While you can rule someone out instantly, or over time, ruling someone in requires an intimate knowledge of who that person is, what their goals are in life, how they handle conflict and so much more.
Only with time can you really get to know that person. In the beginning, we are all guarded with what we let people know and see. That guard has to come down for you to know the person inside.
What's more knowing a person well is just part of the equation, you also have to know if you have enough common goals and dreams to share in order to make a happy marriage and life.
See, one of the toughest lessons you are likely to learn when dating is that you can be dating, and in love, with someone truly amazing and they can still not be the right person with whom you can build a happy life.
In addition to having a wonderful friendship and chemistry, you have to have compatible lifestyles and goals. For example, if one of you is neat and one is a slob, either one of you will need to accept the other's habits, or you'll end up making yourselfs unhappy. Other areas of possible conflict include whether or not you want children, how many children, how you think kids should be raised, religion, money management, male/female rolls, etc. A really big one is how the two of you work out conflict.
People have different expectations of what they want in a marriage and couples that are blinded by love and who fail to really look closely at the nuts and bolts of what it take to make a marriage work, are pretty much doomed to failure. More than half of all marriages end in divorce, and not all that remain are happy.
In order to find love, you need to exercise some patience and be willing to invest the time it takes to know for sure, AND be willing to risk your heart. Odds are you'll be hurt a few times before you get the right partner.
Breakups SUCK but without risking one, you'll never be able to find a great relationship.
Being logical and practical when emotions are involved is tough, but necessary.
So...if you think he's interesting, give him a chance. Remember, you too have a choice in how fast the relationship progresses. You need not give in to pressure to step up commitment before you are ready.
A lot of people do not grant exclusivity to someone they are just starting to date. They wait until they really do get excited that this person is worth that privilege.
Have fun. Dating can be fun if you don't take it too seriously until it is time to. It's a good idea to date around (note..you don't have to sleep around...) so you get an idea of how broad the field is. These days there's no reason to rush into a lifetime commitment. More and more often, people are waiting until later in life to get married or even consider it.
It makes sense to figure out yourself and what you want out of life, before you try to answer whether or not a specific person fits your plans.
2006-06-25 10:33:40 · answer #4 · answered by Lori A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a ********,that way he'll never want to leave your side.The mere thought of maybe getting another one will keep him horney for years to come.He will probably want to marry you thinking that he'll get blow jobs every night.Then he'll probably want a divorce 20 years later sitll thinking that you give him another *******,but will give up and dump you.And thats about it when it comes to relationships,give great and repeated blowjobs and your man will give you anything you want.He'll be your best freind!
2006-06-25 10:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by Richard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't relationships need to be worked at. each new person we meet is a new friend to begin with ,treat them a such and take it from there. If it grow into something more then so be it. if you like him what have you got to lose.
2006-06-25 10:24:29 · answer #6 · answered by lady_di_ar125 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a break don't try to make him so perfect
why are you so quick to know hes not the one
maybe if your so leary then you shouldn't be dating him at all
date someone else to and see if you miss him
2006-06-25 10:21:44 · answer #7 · answered by stepford 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to know him and then you will know.Nobody on here can give you the right answer
2006-06-25 10:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by beer_pharts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to know him. If he's right for you, you'll know and won't have to ask anyone.
2006-06-25 10:20:57 · answer #9 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋