Myself I just accepted the fact and insured they had access to the birth control of their choice, offered to pay for it and pretty much left them be after letting them know they could come to me with ?'s or talk to their doctor, Planned Parenthood. Just wanted to know if others realized it as a fact of life and did not overreact and accepted it as a part of them being young adults. My oldest daughters 1re 19 & 21 and my oldest had my first grandchild at 20, so despite boths sexual encounters in High School I feel my approach worked well as I could have become a grandpa much earlier.
2006-06-25 02:52:15 · 8 answers · asked by badmikey4 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have three step kids and they are 21, 19, 17. My own two boys are 8 and 3. With the oldest three I have always been open and honest with them. Told them where they could get birth control or condoms and when they would have any question I would supply the answer. Because of that they are well educated and are not ashamed of sexuality. Maybe still a little embaressed, but not ashamed!!
2006-06-25 02:57:20 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I started the birds and bees conversations with all of my children at a very early age. I discussed it all very matter-of-factly.
Sex by 16 is not out of the ordinary and if you don't start preparing them by 11 or 12 you could end up with some very serious problems. My children got to know a mother and son who have HIV. The mother passed away from complications of AIDS. They are aware that James will also. Condoms are a given. We have had the "but what if she is a virgin" discussion as well. I always tell them there are two things that you will keep till the day you die.... AIDS and Children!
My boyfriend and friends are all amazed at how totally open all my children, from my 29 year old daughter, down to my 17 year old son are with me regarding virtually everything. The key to this is to not over-react to anything they say. Try to look at it all analytically. Frequently, what they are verbally asking is not what the actual question is, so you have to pick up on what is behind their questions... but once you casually hit upon it, they will open up more.
It is too late to close the barn door after the horses are already out, so becoming excitable over something that already happened is counter productive. You simply need to teach them to round up the horses and how to use a padlock!!!
I think you handled it well. It is a difficult period of their lives, and you certainly don't want them going to their friends for advice. After looking at some of the answers teens give on this site, you have a pretty good indication of just how disasterous that could be! Freaking out just makes them hesitant about coming to you.
2006-06-25 03:19:10 · answer #2 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never freak out on your kids when and if you find out they are sexually active...unless they are like 9. Your children are going to grow up and have sexual relationships. There is no denying that. What good would it do to react badly? It's a part of life they are going to engage in. You can only be supportive and keep offering help and advice.
2006-06-25 03:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK...i myself would freak out but I havent had to deal with the situation yet.I do think about it,my oldest is 12 and I know this is an issue soon to be comming up (these days) I dont know how I might react but my hopes are they save themselves for the right man.
2006-06-25 02:57:04 · answer #4 · answered by empresscalls 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your approach is pretty grounded. Keeping your kids informed of safe sex is your responsiblity as a loving parent.
The fact is , they are going to do it b/c it's perfectly natural.
The concern is how they are doing it and how they feel about it.
Educate your child and educate yourself about what to do when this happens.
Be there for them and be ready for questions. They are human, just like you.
2006-06-25 08:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by MB H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG i would ground my daughter but i guess it depends on religion and raising. My daughters have always been taught no premaritial sex but mabye your religion doesnt. Anyway if you are OK with her doing it thats fine. But you might want to ask her Boyfriends Parents about it they might have no clue and also you really should check their method of Birth Control
2006-06-25 02:57:40 · answer #6 · answered by kelseykiddo1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're lucky it only started at age 16. Most start at 13-14
2006-06-25 04:01:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your child uses the computer they like to chat and im secrets they would not tell you
you can beat them at their own game with this
http://andycaine.hostguys.hop.clickbank.net
2006-06-25 06:44:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋