How do I potty train my son?

Question

My son is now 3 years old & he refuses to go to the potty. I have no idea what to do & I'm running out of ideas! I am a single mother & I work full time. . .so that is part of the problem. I don't spend enough time with him during the day to really focus on it. At this point I will take any suggestions or advice. I am desperate for help!!!!

Great advice so far. The only problem is I don't have a full weekend to spend on it. My days off are split between the week. . so I'm only off 1 day at a time. And yes, he does go to daycare. They try to work with him, but it's alot harder when they have all the other kids to deal with. And one of the teachers there isn't a parent, so she isn't as good at that kind of stuff. Keep the answers coming though. I'm gonna print all this out & try to encorporate all your suggestions into a plan that may work for us!

Answer 1

It is always harder to potty train a boy than it is a girl. My daughter has 18 month old twins and the girl is already potty training.... the boy wants to walk around with the potty bowl on his head.... Your being a single mom actually complicates it a bit, because one of the best ways for him to learn is by seeing other male family members do it. That was pretty much how I trained my sons.

I am sure you would love to get away from having to use pull-ups too! Is he in day care? I know when you are a single mom and work full time that by the time you are done with all of the duties of the day, the last thing you want to spend your evenings doing is potty training. But you will probably need at least a full week of bringing him to the potty many times until his bed time. It would be best to start it early on a Saturday morning. Tell yourself that you are going to do nothing that whole weekend but work on potty training (then don't feel bad about everything else you did not get done!!!) And quite literally, lead him to the potty every five or ten minutes. When he finally does go in the potty, you use your most excited voice and praise and hug him. Make a massive fuss about it. How he is such a big boy, and how proud momma is. This is a full weekend of you going nowhere, and him going nowhere. No friends over. No distractions. Work on his ABC's with him, or his numbers and colors, and when you suspect he might need to go, take him to the potty.

I should think that you have a pretty good idea of how long after eating he will need to take care of number two, so at that point, back to the potty. A lot of children have to get over the feeling of panic the first few times they have a bowel movement in something other than their diaper/pull ups. To them, the way they are doing it IS the right way.... and now you want him do Do What!!! In There??!!!!

So expect to sit in the bathroom for a good 30 minutes or more, not necessarily with him on the potty the whole time because his poor little legs will fall asleep. And moving around is a great laxative. You may even spend a whole hour in there while he is trying to hold it in rather than do something so foreign, but eventually, nature will have it's way, and you then plop him back on the potty, and once again start the "excited voice, mommy is sooo proud of you" thing. You may consider it a lost weekend... but the benefits are fabulous!!!

Answer 2

My son, thank fully, was easy to potty train. He was full potty trained by the time he was 2. Here's what I did...when he was around 18 months I got him a potty and introduced him to it but didn't push the issue. Sometimes I would let him run around without a diaper and occasionally sit him on the potty so he would possibly connect the two. He started going to daycare around then and a couple months later I told the daycare that I was trying to potty train and would only be putting him in underwear so they had to put him on the toilet often. I think that him being around other kids that were using the potty helped. Then at home I would get him in the bathroom at least twice an hour. I stopped diapers cold turkey and if he had an accident he knew what it was like to be wet. If we were out somewhere I brought extra clothes but didn't rush right away to change him. I'd usually wait a few minutes so he could understand the cold wet feeling and decide he didn't like it.
Potty training can be difficult. If he is three it may be more difficult. Try talking to him and letting him know that there are certain things he can't do unless he is potty trained. I know that worked on my brother when he was little. He was the same way..3 and refused. Then he wanted to go to preschool and my mom wouldn't let him till he used the potty..soon thereafter he started using the toilet beause he really wanted to go to preschool. Maybe letting him know that there are limitations on him may encourage him to want to use the toilet.
Don't push the issue too much though because then he will never use it. Make sure whoever is watching him encouraged him to use the potty as well.

Answer 3

Sounds like your son is either at a daycare center, or other caregivers during the day. They should also be encouraging your parenting choices.
Encourage, encourage, encourage. A sticker sheet with stars or other stickers he likes is a great way to remind him of when he does a good job. When he has an accident, don't make him feel bad about it (he'll just accident in secret then) - just re-encourage that you'll try it again.
Don't do the run the water from the faucet thing - have you ever met someone who's mother did that? Every time they hear a water faucet, they have to pee!
I bought a video called potty time. My son loved it. His dad also helped him a lot, and reminded him of how much he was a "big boy."
Take him to the potty every hour. I know it seems like a lot, but encourage him to try.
Pullups work great, but they have become more "diaperish" over the years. Once he's starting to get the hang of it, use underwear. Buy lots of them - and plastic covers - it'll still be cheaper than pullups in the end.

Answer 4

At this age it sounds like a power struggle. He is old enough to know when to use the potty. For you it will require a lot of patience. Let him wear "big boy underwear" during the day (with the exception of naptime). Sometimes it's fun for them to pick out their own. Each morning, when your son first wakes up, sit him on the potty. Don't fight him if he refuses though. Every hour, sit him on the potty again. Each time he sits on the potty, praise him, praise him, praise him! He will love to see how much he has pleased you. If he has an accident, have him change his own underwear and pants. Since you do work full time, start on the weekend. Remind your daycare provider that you are potty training and let her know that this is what you are doing. Consistency is the key. Positive reinforcement will help.

Answer 5

ok, with you being a full time working mom i'm not sure if this will work or not. My first son (now 6) was easy but my youngest (3 1/2) lol was sooooooo not. I finally just let him run throught the house with no pants on when we were home. That tought him how to feel when he was going to go and he paid more attention since there was nothing there to catch it. Then after he got pretty good bout that ( i had a potty in the living room and one at each end of the house) i took the potty out of the living room and set it closer to the bathroom that he would be using, little by little i inched the potty to the toilet, then set it on the bit potty. once he got use to it there i took it off and made him use the big one. i took him off diapers completely, only underwear (it confused him switchin back and fourth) and with every accident he got a stern talking and with every accomplishment he got a reward (we bought a little treasure chest and small lock, put candy and little toys in it, set it on back of potty with it locked, after every success he got to choose 1 thing out of it). After about 3 months now he is nearly fully potty trained, no accidents in 2 weeks (knock on wood).hope this helps

Answer 6

I have sons myself and have always worked full time. I bought cool underwear for them. To start we would go to the potty every hour or so when they wore the underwear. I always had them sit down in the beginning. Pretty soon they will realize the sensation of needing to pee. When they get that down I would put a square of toilet paper in the bowl and have them aim for it. In the beginning it is A LOT of work but totally worth it in the long run. Also when the boys and I are outside playing if they had to pee I would let them pee on a tree or bush in the yard. We live in a small town and have a big yard so no one would really be offended by that. And the boys got a kick out of it!

Answer 7

Where is your son while you are at work? Can't whomever watches him try to potty train Him? Boys are hard to train compared to girls. When you are at Home be patient with Him and keep trying to train him. Praise him when he uses the potty. Good Luck!!

Answer 8

Put a handful of cheerios in the toilet and tell him to sink them. This trick has worked on 6 boys including ones with autism and ADD/ADHD

Answer 9

Try putting cheerios in the water and tell him to sink them. It gives him a target and it sounds like fun.

Answer 10

its hard, im at home myself with my boy and he refused to use the potty so i went straight for the toilet and hes great, only one week, he needsthe encouragement andalso giving him praise works well