PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.
ALCOHOL: makes an ideal substitute for happiness.
DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
CAR thieves: Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.
MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.
WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.
RAPPERS: Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.
2006-06-25 02:17:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Shortest Fairytale Ever
Once upon a time, a girl asked
a guy, "Will you marry me"? The guy said "No".
And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean
house, never had to cook and farted whenever she wanted.
The End.
2006-06-25 02:18:41 · update #1
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
2006-06-25 02:18:49 · update #2
Those are pretty good.
2006-06-25 02:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by Juicy Fruit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually the worlds shortest fairy tale went like this...
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
The girl said,"NO!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and
hunting and played golf a lot
and drank beer and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever
he wanted.
THE END
2006-06-25 09:25:56 · answer #2 · answered by Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will have a go at the shortest fairy tale.
Once upon a time, long ago, it ended happily for all.
2006-06-25 12:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by peanutz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha the 'motorists' one is funny.
2006-06-25 09:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
COOL
2006-06-25 10:17:02 · answer #5 · answered by ss1886 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋