After my ex and i broke up he pushed me when he saw me dancing with another guy in the club. he never touched me when we where dating. im taking him out for his birthday tomorrow and i no we will talk about everything, and i will confront him, but if we get back together will he do it again? i really do still care about him.
2006-06-25 01:13:53 · 28 answers · asked by JJ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ooh, lots of answers here.
Not sure if this is the question you were wanting me to help you out on... but im gonna give it a shot anyway.
Cant remember off hand how long you guys were together for, or if I ever did know? Anyway there were feelings there at one stage. I think that its best you leave the 'romantic' feelings in the past, and keep it strictly as friends, at least until you guys are ready to accept eachother for who you both are.
Im not sure that confronting him on his birthday is such a good idea. Birthdays are for celebrating, and considering its his birthday, if you bring that up, it wont really much fun for him.
Because he never hit you while you were dating, chances are he was just doing it out of envy more than anything. Most people have that urge, just they dont act on it.
Be thankful it was a push, and not knocking you unconcious. Any violence is wrong, but im glad you are ok.
Have a chat to him about this after his birthday. Try to talk about other things on his birthday instead. Keep your previous relationship problems out of it, and try to have fun. Enjoy the night, thats what birthdays are all about. Maybe then you will both remember the good times that you shared.
Time is a good remedy for everything. The more the better.
Good luck.
2006-06-29 01:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by kara_nari 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Red flag! The guy has abusive tendencies. Run away! Also, if you are broken, up, why are you taking him out on his birthday, & why would you risk ruining his birthday by confronting him about this action at that time? Could you hope to pick a worse time? The best course of action would be to break off all contact, but if you aren't going to do that, you will need to confront him about this at a better time than what is supposed to be a happy time in his life. I would say it's time to move on, & close this chapter of your life. If you aren't strong enough to do that, then make sure you never let him harm you again. If he knows he can get by with abusing you a little, he'll only do it more. So, buy some pepper spray, & the next time he shoves you, spray his eyes. A woman should probably own this anyway.
2006-06-25 01:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he's your ex for a reason. He also had no right pushing you or laying a finger on your because you were dancing with another guy. You are not property for someone to own in any kind of relationship. Its admirable that you care about him but why would you get back together with an ex? My opinion is yes, that he will do it again. He has already shown you how he can be and that isn't going to change just because you get back together. This is a warning sign of things to come if you do get back together. Does this create happy thoughts as you think about getting back together with him? Give another man a chance to show his unconditional love for you and that he will not bring any physical harm to you.
2006-06-25 01:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by jimmyweda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he pushed you once when he was angry then the chances are VERY GOOD that he will do it again. Do NOT put up with this kind of behavior ... you are worth far more than being someones punching bag. There is a man in jail in the DC metro area because he could not get his anger at his wife under control. He went to where she works and set her on fire. She is now dealing with the pain and suffering of recovery. A man that feels like it is okay to be physically abusive needs counseling before he gets into another relationship. YOU need counseling if you are considering getting back together with him. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even take him out to dinner for his birthday.
2006-06-25 01:21:27 · answer #4 · answered by redhaired_one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you say about his attitude during dating it is clear that even if he wants you for himself he would not touch you unless you become his after going through all the formalities. When this was the case you should have thought twice before taking another partner on the dance floor. You could have excused yourself, especially when your beau was there. EVen if you make up you would always have to bear in mind that some husbands are almost childish in such matters. Unless you are willing to adhere to his code it would be better for you to excuse yourself.From your question whether he would do the same again under similr circumstances shows that you do not like to sleep on the Rosicrucian bed. Then better don't do. But believe me such partners are hard to come buy. I have a gut feeling that he would be a faithful husband .
2006-06-25 01:23:46 · answer #5 · answered by Prabhakar G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop and use your brain girl! He did this when the two of you were supposed to be broke up and over something as simple as dancing with someone. Just imagine what he might do if he gets jealous when you're really his girlfriend.
It's up to you if you want to give him another chance. If you do though, make it clear from the start that what he did was not acceptable and if he does it again, you're out the door for good. AND MEAN IT !!
2006-06-25 05:02:25 · answer #6 · answered by lover of the ocean waves 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey use your head. Why would you take him out for his b-day or even talk to him? to reward that behavior? If a man puts his hands on you once mostly he will do it again. he has issues with anger and it will only get worse. I can tell you he will blame it on everything under the sun, then say it will never happen again, then say it was your fault for dancing with the other guy. Find a man who respects you and let him go
2006-06-25 02:03:55 · answer #7 · answered by tall_slimm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you even go out with him? After he pushed you, he doesn't deserve the time of day from you. A man should NEVER do something like that and a woman should never tolerate it, birthday or no birthday.
2006-06-25 01:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you broke up with your ex and he saw you dancing with another guy at a club and he pushed you, hate to say this he is abusive he had no right to do that to you first it starts with shoving then hitting if he truely loved you and cared about you he wouldn't have shoved you in the 1st place and yes he will do it again and possibly worse
2006-06-25 01:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to tell for sure. My ex did almost the same thing. Him and I are okay now, but I'm married. I won't give him the chance to hurt me again, but there have been quite a few opportunities for him to physically hurt me. I'm not saying that this guy won't do it to you again. He may or may not. I wouldn't chance being with him again though. Try being friends, and watch for warning signs. Jealousy and possessiveness are very obvious signs. Be careful, and remember, there is always at least this girl willing to listen!
2006-06-25 01:19:23 · answer #10 · answered by Aunt Sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋