I'm not talking low-lives but sophisticated and respected people.Is is too great a gamble?What if they fall back into old habits?How long do you stay and how much do you take before you walk away?
2006-06-24 22:59:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's not that I don't trust him but no one can say for sure that a former addict won't fall back into old habbits.
2006-06-24 23:08:57 · update #1
There is always a chance of relapse with a former addict, no matter who you are. You have to decide yourself if you will be abe to deal with it if does happen again. The temptation will always be there, and you need to help them cope with it if you truly want to be with them.
2006-06-24 23:19:31 · answer #1 · answered by Stranger in a Strangeland 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've been clean 10 yrs and my husband for a little over 20 yrs. He's 15 yrs older than me, but it's all about trust. and without trust why would you even consider marrying this person. Anyone can pick up an addicting behavior at any time, whether they had that behavior in the passed or not. That's why you marry for better or worse. Good luck to you and your decision.
2006-06-25 19:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by red_neck_biker_babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of history? If he's in his thirties or older and hasn't had substance problems since undergrad days, I'd put it into the category of "youthful experimentation" and forget about it. In contrast, if he's constantly in and out of rehab, then the problem is still around and continue to affect him and the people close to him.
What do you mean by "abuse"? If you believe that ANY use of drugs or alcohol is abuse, there might be a problem here. Some people believe that it's only abuse if it is having a highly detrimental affect on your life, such as interfering with your job. They think it's OK to indulge "responsibly", such as getting a little drunk on Saturday night. If you two have widely different attitudes on this, it is going to create on-going problems.
How much do you take? You use the same standards as for a spouse that is not drinking or drugging. If they continue to go to work, remain sexually faithful, etc, you stick with them. If they become physically abusive of you or the children, if they refuse to meet their financial responsibilities, you make changes. Just drinking or drugging, in itself, does not constitute abuse no matter how strenuously you may disapprove of it.
2006-06-25 02:17:13 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you get any guarantees that ANY partner will stay straight. It would seem to me that if they have been clean for years, that maybe that's a good reason to trust.
Perhaps there are other reasons you do not trust this person.
Talk to them, maybe talk to a counselor together and get the reassurance you need.
2006-06-25 04:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by Lori A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what love is...Trust. No one is perfect. He's been clean for years, I'd give him a chance. If he EVER backslides leave. But let him know the deal BEFORE the wedding. Good luck
2006-06-25 02:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by grrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need some counseling on how best to help your partner if they do slide, and how to recognize the signs so you can help them when they need it.
Everyone makes mistakes, and you should be able to leave their past in their past and love them for who they are now.
2006-06-25 02:31:19 · answer #6 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. he will be always in the line of being addict again. Be careful
2006-06-25 00:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by manalonedubai 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very risky
2006-06-25 00:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's risky to marry someone you don't trust.
2006-06-24 23:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its really very risky , he could be well now but it could easily come to him again ,,,,bad habbits learn more easily than doing good
2006-06-25 02:32:29 · answer #10 · answered by shangrila 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋