I'm one of the oldies on this site! I've met a really great guy who is sweet, romantic and gentle, but hopeless in bed. It's been ages since he had sex and his performance worries him so much we are getting no where. He's eager to please me, but I want him to come too, what can I do?
2006-06-24 22:34:04 · 31 answers · asked by chocaholic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a common problem.His fear of failure increases every time he gets in bed with you.This is what you do.Don't pressure him to penetrate you.Agree you will have one month without penetration.Massage each other intimately.If you remove his fear of failure and his obligation to penetrate you he will get an erection once the pressure is off.Good luck to you both.
2006-06-24 23:46:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 2⤋
Just take your time, he may be getting over a person who ridiculed him because he was premature or had trouble sustaining an erection, problem is viagra and cialis do not work for every man, I know doesn't work for me, just makes me very ill, thunderous headaches which hang around for days after wards so into gentle mutual other activities such as mutual masturbation and oral sex, sometimes can sustain erection long enough to satisfy my partner, other times I cannot but as long as emphasis is on support and understanding I do not think it matters, if you focus on the failure it will happen more and more so always focus on the times when it does happen and they come more often as a consequence. Best of luck.
2006-06-24 22:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by kiwi_trevor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-15 16:09:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two should sit down with a couple of drinks and talk honestly about the issue. You obviously got something you want to talk to him about and I'm sure he's got something that he'd like to share with you. Talk about your likes and dislikes and try new things. If he doesn't know how you like it and if you don't know how he likes it there is gonna be a certain amount of tension during the act. Here honesty is definitely the key, don't be afraid to go into details because the details are the most important thing.
Wish you both luck !
2006-06-24 23:37:57 · answer #4 · answered by deadhead_society 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take your time us oldies can't rush things anymore.Put on some music and seduce him .If all fails give me a call I'm never nervous in bed.
2006-06-24 22:37:12 · answer #5 · answered by andy f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time, tell him its ok whatever happened till now. assure him that we will have better time someday. help him to stop worring. spend some valuable time with him for a while. take interest in his hobbies, likings etc. involve both of you gradually. You may get desired results. I am sure that you too have some ideas... you may try them as well.
2006-06-24 22:44:30 · answer #6 · answered by ddivvi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set the mood with candles soft music ,give him a full body massage and hopefully if he feels relaxed enough his anxietys will disappear, it could take you ages to get him to really relax with you dont put any pressure to perform on him you take control . good luck
2006-06-24 22:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by Treat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you're not judging him, that you really appreciate his concerns, and that you really do like him quite a lot and want things to work out. let him know that by paying attention to himself and enjoying the experience (not worrying about it!) pleases you, too, and that together is the only way that you two can enjoy any kind of sexual experience.
2006-06-24 22:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by XsylviaO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reasure the guy that he has all the right things in the right place even if he get things wrong tell him thats ok this will help you both relax and have even greater times together in the bedroom.
2006-06-24 22:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by Johnny m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all no one is hopeless in bed. In regards to what you can do; easy. You please him. You take the initiative, you do what you know you can do. You take full control of the activities and let him be the recipient of your expertise. This will give him the time he needs to be be more confident with himself and his ability to perform. Good Luck.
2006-06-24 22:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by Papagayo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2017-02-08 22:20:23 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋