Whenever she comes around, which is infrequent since she threatened to beat me she strives to create conflict between us. How can I get her father to see this without him thinking that it is jealousy? I am absolutely afraid of this girl and I hate the way she hurts him by alternately loving and hating him. She blames this on being bi-polar and she is on medication for this, but it really doesn't seem to be working OR she is not bi-polar and that's just her excuse for bad behavior.
2006-06-24 20:48:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Her Dad and I have been married for almost 11 years and until about 4 months ago she expressed no interest in being around him.
She is on medication for bipolar, although nothing seems to have changed, and she is in therapy.
2006-06-24 22:51:40 · update #1
I have a similar situation, I treat my stepdaughter WHO HATES ME like she was two years old when she continues to test me/her dad. I just ignore her negative behavior and try to redirect her. When she starts to talk negatively I do not acknowledge her and instead ask her a question or just answer talking about a different subject.
She does not have to like you (mine does not). She does have to treat you with respect though. It is illegal to threaten to hurt someone physically. If you are truly afraid and live in fear of her attacking you then you might want to get an order of protection.
I wonder how your husband feels about this..........please e-mail me at: red_red_read@yahoo.com so we can talk more.
Good luck. You are in between a rock and a hard place.
2006-06-24 20:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is definatly a toxic person. Get some counseling and make a plan on how to put boundries up when she is around. Write it up like a contract. The conesquences would be that she isn't allowed to visit for a certian amout of time. or whatever is appriate. Don't lose your marriage over an interferring step daughter.
Maybe run a tape recorder or a hidden vidio camera to prove to your husband how crazy this girl is.
If she threatened to beat you......call the cops and establish a history so that if she does hurt you or your husband, the cops will have a history on her. Your husband might not like that, but he is being co dependent with her. Look up on the internet about co dependency.
Stand firm, you deserve a peaceful life.
2006-06-24 21:54:12 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sad situation, and extremely difficult by the sounds of it. How does your husband feel about her negativity toward you. Sounds like dad needs to talk to his daughter, reassure her.
It does sound like she is jelous, but she is 26 yrs old and its time for her to let dad and step mum enjoy their life.
Does she have a family of her own?
Bi-polar is a very serious illness, whether or not this is the issue i dont know.
If she cant be civil, there is a reason, she needs to work on fixing it, maybe u guys can help her with that.
Best of luck.
I can sympathise i am in a blended family, eldest children are 16yrs (female) my daughter. and 18yrs (male) my husbands son, and 4 more between us. Mind u none of them have bi-polar as far as i know.
Talk to your husband when u are both relaxed, and see what u can come up with.
Hope things go ok. xx
2006-06-24 21:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by jordancassandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deb: You have a very big problem. It seems as though your St daughter has a broken heart. I really cant say because I dont know the full story but I can say this, I feel that you are taking up the time with her father that she use to have and she dont understand that you are now her fathers wife. sit with her and talk to her or take her some where to eat and talk. You may need to tell me more.
2006-06-24 21:56:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay she is 2y of age and is an adult, whom have issue with her dad; its not you. Try to talking with your husband about her behavior towards you both. Its not your fault that her parents marriage did not work out ( I hope you was not the SIDE PIECE of ***) but her father need to tell her no matter whom he is with that she will always be daddy little girl and that her mother and him grow apart. But now that he has a new wife, she has to respect you and if she don't she is not be welcome to the HOUSE. Your husband can take her out to lunch or a early supper to spend time with the little girl that don't want to grow up. To be honesty your step child have some real serious issues with her parents. If he can not see this is hurting your marriage talk with your pastor. If you have children her age, have them talk to her about threatening you ...Good luck.. I'll be praying for you..
2006-06-24 21:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by JO`NAE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely, your husband may not stand up to her in fear of loosing her as a daughter. I'd sit down and talk to him and ask what does he plans to do about this situation. If he says he's going to talk to her, then he needs to find the root of the problem and find out what her feelings are and maybe recommend family counseling...and if he tells you that you're over reacting, I'd prepare to pack my belongings.
I only gave that example if you wanted one last ditch effort...in my opinion-I would want to be part of that mess, if I were you and he hasn't stood up to her by now, it's time to leave. She seems like a crazed individual, I wouldn't want to stick around and see what she is capable of. It's pretty obvious as long as you're married to him her main goal is to make your life a living hell. I'd pack my bags and leave. Don't waste anymore time.
2006-06-24 21:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by SusaJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep a record and point out all the awful things she is doing.
Beware, this is going to make them think you are being petty, just say "I wish it didn't have to be this way, but it is" and keep doing what you have to do.
This same thing is happening to my boss (she's married to a man with a horrible daughter), has been for 8 YEARS. I hope your hubby will eventually see reason.
Stand up for yourself and don't take any of their crap.
2006-06-24 20:58:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow .. tough one ..
But I don't see how your husband doesn't see it if she threatened to beat you.
80% of the time, homicide is the result of domestic violence. If she has threatened you, insist that she and your husband visit away from you. Normally I would not condone divorce outside of what the Bible allows, but if your life is in danger, I would question my love for my other half versus my life.
2006-06-24 20:55:59 · answer #8 · answered by scavenger_meat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good 4 her u steped in 2 her life and made her mad my step dad did that and i hate him
2006-06-24 20:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by shanan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
their relationship is theirs to maintain.stay out of it.youll only make it worse.just be there for either of them if they ask for your advice or opinion.finesse not force
2006-06-24 20:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by savage_14u2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋