I am depressed please help me?

Question

I went to this club/bar tonight. B/4 I commence, you have to understand that I'm very shy. I am trying to hard to defeat this problem or disease. I got to the bar and sat in the stool. On 2 ocassions, a lady asked me if I could dance with her, I obliged. She appeared older than me. I must confess she was not bad looking. After dancing I went back to my stool drinking my sprite. I thought to myself after sitting for a while, heck you should summon courage and talked to ladies. I finally decided to speak to the ladies. I spoke to three. One obliged to dance and finally gave me the broad shoulder and left. Another simply ignored me. Another told me that she came with someone, so she couldn't dance with me. I went back to the original lady who asked me to dance and she said the music is too fast for her. Mind you when I danced with her originally, she asked me if I was shy, I said a liitle bit. I am so shattered right now. I am not ugly. What can I do to look attractive to the girls?

Let the advice come in. I am so surprised at how much people want to see me feel better about myself. Darn, they are definitely good people around. If a lady asked me to dance and I finally found some girl I was attracted to. Do you really think it is wrong to ask for a dance. Besides I thought it was all probability. I don't know if it is weirdl or not, but the lady that asked me to dance with her gave me the impression that she wanted to kiss me. I was tempted, but I felt that if I did it, I might blow it. Is it wrong to kiss a lady that ask you for a dance, eventhough she appears to give all the signs. I am so confused.

Answer 1

No one can help you. You will be eaten by cockroaches and die a miserable death.



No really, there's probably nothing wrong with you. Being shy is a common problem. A dance club isn't the easiest place for a shy person to meet people, it's just too overwhelming and riotous. Maybe try a calmer, more relaxing setting for meeting girls? If older woman are hitting on you - there's obviously nothing to be insecure about. Just relax!

Answer 2

What kind of redneck bar are you hanging out in? Older ladies? why are you not going to a place where girls your age go?Ok, find a different club, where your age group go, drink something other than sprite, for goodness sake, even if its a bud light, learn to dance, (it sounds like the woman who picked you up first was embarrased by your style , which might be why she made a stupid excuse) The other thing to remember is, if a girl picks you up in a bar to dance with show some respect, dont go off and dance with someone else and leave her ... she took the initiative to try and introduce herself and dance with you, how do you think she felt when you went off danced with other people and rejected her, (that might be the other reason she gave you the excuse...she was Pissed off).
When you are dancing with someone, talk about stuff, tell her she dances well, or you like the way she dances, ask her her name, ask her if she would like to come join you at your table after the dance is over, buy her a drink, chat with her, where is she from? does she come here often, does she like the music. Learn to make conversation.
Dont just drop her like a hot potato and go back to the bar and sit there like a bump on a log.
You need to seriously learn some social skills.
I sure cant teach you them all over the internet !!!! Use your common sense. Get a book and read up on social skills.
Remember, many books on social skills define dancing as a prelude, where people are doing vertically what you might end up doing horizontally !!! You keep doing what you are doing you will never get to the horizontal part !!!

Answer 3

well this is a tough one. appearance is only part of it. the way you dress the after shave if it is too overwhelming if your dressed nice and wearing tennis shoes all need to be fitting. since I do not know you or how you were I can not say it was how you were dressed but just somethings to keep in mind.
approach is important. if you walk up to them you should feel confident look them in the eyes speak proudly but not rudely. have a demanding but polite voice are good things.
saying you want to dance sounds like your too lonely. May I have this dance hand extended to take hers a woman is more likely to accept.
you can use lines but I can tell you most women are smart and can see them coming a mile away. some think they are cute and will dance anyway most will laugh and walk away.
when the dance is over escort her back to her seat and make sure you thank them for the dance and kindly excuse yourself.
watch for those who take notice but don't rush anything and for crying out loud don't stare a simple grin if your eyes meet then turn away.
if your doing all these things then you may want to find a new place to hang out because people have different taste or try going on a different night.
ok now I cant give away all my secrets so hope I have gave you something to think about and good luck.

Answer 4

Girls love confidence and men with an air of happiness about them. I used to be shy, very shy, girls had to make the fist move. I'm now very confident and i can chat up any lady. Don't get too cocky though, they dislike men who act like they are girl-lords. No acting, they will see through you in a nano sec. Just be yourself, try to make conversations none confrontational. "Wow!" And a smile as a girl walks by sometimes gets a smile. If you win the attention of just one a month, you should be thankful. You will be shot down in flames a few times, but that's life. Women are all different and they respond to different guys. Perhaps you should be looking for friends in places like night school or other more obscure meeting places. Some girls like shy men, where i live, you would meet many beautiful girls every day and they would soon give you vast confidence. I live and work in a remote part of NE Thailand, no tourists or bad girls here. I love it here, it's the friendliest place on the planet and the people are too. I run a resort and village girls come here for the parties and to look for romance. Unlike the bad girls in the south, Isan girls never ask for money, they just want friends and they all love westeners and anything to do with westeners. Some of my guests have come here and met their future wifes. Many of them started off shy but Isan girls just love shy men. Check out my 360, it is'nt everyones cup of tea, but those who come here love it. Please don't think that I'm looking for guests, I'm full most of the time and i don't need to find guests, i have all i can handle.

Answer 5

well you should try the basics since you say you're not bad looking. 3x a day shower, fresh breath, clean cut hairstyle, good grooming, clean finger and toe nails, etc. Then you can start being confident about yourself. Be knowledgeable about a lot of things. Read! Mix around with people or girls who are your type. There's an eternity of difference with one night stands and girls you prefer to have a long lasting relationship with. I do not know how old you are and what your profession is, or if you're a student.

Whatever it is, do let me know so I can be of more assistance to you. You may begin with the basic stuff i mentioned and Never ever lose hope or feel frustrated. If at first you don't make it with a girl of your choice, never say never. Remember, wine tastes better with age. Its how you "appreciate" in terms of value.

Charles

Answer 6

You just need to have more confidence in yourself. If you get turned down don't let it keep you bummed out all night. I've been through the same thing and girls can be very picky and mean sometimes. I've had nights when I struck out all night but you got to be tough and keep trying. Talk to them and show them how good your personality is and it will work out for you. And when you ask a girl to dance, don't forget to smile and don't appear desperate.

Answer 7

Build your confidence. Experiment with talking with women even if you know you will get shot down. Unless you are a natural like Orlando Bloom, Collin Ferrell, or Brad Pitt, you will need to build your skills with women. Yes it is a skill that you can develop just like riding a bike. If you are not born with it, then you need to develop it. Bottom line is to be persistent and don't give up. Otherwise you have no chance of procreating.

Answer 8

You have to roll with Benjamin's and get a Ferrari. Women are shallow and superficial and the bling bling makes them cream their pants. Follow these simple steps and maybe someday like me you will bang 2 ho's a day and pimp a whole bunch of them out and get paid to pimp that tang

Answer 9

if you know you are good looking then why worry?
club is not a place to look realtionship
you can flirt there
not relationship
who cares about those ladies..!! there are plenty of girls out there who is dying to go out with you...just open your eyes and chk !
all the best

Answer 10

your first step is to stop going to those relentless dumb cheesy a s s redneck whitetrash how down throw down bars and find you a hot chic like myself....I dont hang in the bars..not a bar fly..whatever you wanna call it....I just work and go to school and do everyday stuff......hang out at the mall or bookstores...dump the bar scene,,p.s...get a sports car..it may be shallow...but it will attract the ladies...then u can weed em out one by one