After coming out of a bad divorce I entered into a sexual relationship with a good man. We agreed to keep it causal, but to be honest with each other. Over the years we have drifted apart while trying to make other relationships work, but have always found each other again. More recently we have started spending more time together and talk almost every day. I've fallen head over heals for this guy and he knows it. Is it possible for the relationship to turn around and be serious or am I just living in a dream world? I've been told by several men friends that those kind of relationships never revolve into something meaningful. Is this true? And yes he knows how I feel ... we spend more time together recently then ever before .. guess I'm just not sure what he thinks and he's not really talking ... he also is dealing with some pretty tough issues with his 12 year old daughter and his ex wife. Run right? Trust me ... I've run from many a relationship in the past ... Help!
2006-06-24 17:35:58 · 14 answers · asked by J 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
J,
I guess I don't totally see where the mixed messages are. It sounds like the two of you are hitting it off. If he didn't want to spend so much time with you he wouldn't. He knows how you feel and he hasn't run for the hills himself.
I guess the key question is how he feels about you. If you say he is a good man, he probably isn't in it for just the sex. My guess is that you are in the middle of a meaningful relationship but somehow don't even know it.
It sounds like you have it pretty good but are too keyed up to enjoy it. OK, the other shoe might drop, but if you're already head over heals for him, why blow it? Kick back and enjoy it. Nothing lasts forever and there are no guarantees, but you would be crazy to walk out on what you have. There are a lot of lonely people out there that would die to be crazy for the one they are currently with.
Good luck,
C
2006-06-24 17:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by chuck_jax 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Until I read "he also is dealing with some..." I was going to say why not just talk with him, BUT, once I read that, step back and take a deep breath, don't run. It sounds like you have a good friendship. To me, it sounds more like you're both very comfortable with eachother and because you're both out dating other people and because that can be a rollercoaster you both know you can depend upon the other being there to fall back on and it's become "safe" to both of you. I too am an "ex-wife" I know I didn't make life easy for my ex. and 12 year old girls are just about to pop into that "teenage" thing. Sounds like you're a good friend to him and he to you. Foster the friendship and be supportive to him, if things are meant to happen they will, most importantly don't lose yourself, stay true to you.
2006-06-24 17:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by HapaMom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, think of this relationship as a job. You know the rule's and you've been working there for several. You can't change the rule's because you put in more hour's. You knew the rule's before you got the job. And if you have not been promoted in 2 to 3 year's chance's are you wont and will be fired if you try to change the rule's. He might have problem with his family right now but what was his excuse before. You are good with coming up with them. If you don't know what he thinks and he is not talking obviously, he doesn't want you to know. If he is having problem's with his family you should leave him alone. You might be bothering him.
2006-06-24 17:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by searchingforanswers? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll put my worthless thought out on this one. You two discussed the relationship, and you mentioned that you two "always found each other again". That suggest that you two either are in it as a convenience or you've been looking for what either of you are lacking in each other. I say it's best for you to bang your fist on the table dispite his issues. Your already involved so might as well not half step, same with him. I wish you much careful thought and initiative action on this. Take care.
2006-06-24 17:43:41 · answer #4 · answered by deleted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What men mix messages. No such thing.
Men are an open Book they only want one thing.
If you want my opinion, the relation ship will not work.
But i am sure this guy is like this:
why buy the cow when you can get the Milk for Free.
2006-06-24 17:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by Mr Justice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried coming out and asking him how he feels about you? You might be surprised at how much you truly mean to the guy!
2006-06-24 17:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like a good sexual relaionship but doesn't sound like he's ready for anything serious yet.
2006-06-24 17:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by saleprechaun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it and say you are willing to give it a shot.
He might just accept, especially if you can help with his issues.
It sounds to me like he might be leaning that way anyway.
2006-06-24 17:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by Biker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea i definetly think you should talk to him about it.
if you guys are on the same page then you know you can take it to the next level.
if not, you need to work out the differences.
but first all you need is his opinion.
2006-06-24 17:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to just sit down and talk with him about it.
2006-06-24 17:42:16 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋