the second time i have seen this. the music plays the bride and groom light the unity candle. then, while the song is playing they talk just between the two of them. no one hears what they are saying. this goes on the entire length of the song which is about 5 minutes. then, when the song ends, they step down. the ceremony continues. is this a new trend or what?
2006-06-24 16:55:56 · 20 answers · asked by tonyatomthor 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I have seen this more times than I care to lately, it is kind of annoying to watch after a short time. I know that the unity candle has been going on for a long time, but the long musical pause seems to be a newer thing. It used to be that the music would play only during the time it took to light the candles and then return to the original spots in front of the minister or priest. Now instead of just a short interlude, the couples are choosing a complete song. The longest one we have had to sit through has been over 10 minutes - which is absolutely ridiculous. And yes, they seem to think it is time to chat quietly with each other while their captive audience is supposed to sit silently through it all. They are talking, btw, to make the time go a bit faster as it is either confusing as to why they had to stand so long at a set of candles, or was as boring to them as it is to the guests to have to sit through a song that should have ended right after the candles are lit. There is no good purpose in making the music last longer, except to hear another song that the couple wanted to add. I think it should go back to the short musical interlude if they want to include that ritual. (I have taken photos for over 20 weddings, and only two couples really said they were glad of it as they needed the break - the rest were like I said - either bored or not really sure why they were supposed to wait that long, and it actually made them a bit more nervous while waiting for the song to end).
2006-06-24 17:06:08 · answer #1 · answered by still learning at 56 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
This is a candle lighting service. They are showing how the two of them become one. A lot of times their families will be the ones to light the two side candles. The reason that the bride and groom were talking is because they didn't want to move during the song. You didn't miss out on anything. I don't know where or when this whole thing started. I do know that some others wanting the same idea without candles will sometimes use sand instead.
2006-06-26 11:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by onefootnaked 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that it has been that way for a while....we're you offended by the communication between the bride and groom during the music....I guess I just know what you're really getting at.....it is "THEIR" day and "THEIR" wedding. I say what ever the couple wants is the way it should be. These days there is pretty much "NO" traditional wedding etiquette. What will be...will be and what they choose to have and not to have is up to the bride and groom. They are paying for the festivities, so everyone should just sit back, enjoy and celebrate!
2006-06-25 00:10:12 · answer #3 · answered by Bluewillow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the first I've heard of it. But I haven't been to a wedding in a while. I got married 10 years ago, and we didn't just chit-chat after the unity candle was lit. And we were married in a Lutheran Church, so it very well could be. Something sweet to say to your new spouse? It seems like an interesting custom.
2006-06-24 23:58:45 · answer #4 · answered by oman396 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Burning, lighting the candle? No pun intnded, huh? When I got married last year, my wife and I talked about crap during that 5 minutes. Stuff like, "Dang the church looks a lot better than I thought, did you happen to see what such and such was wearing?, we didn't talki about anything serious. Not sure if this is normal, but that's what we did.
2006-06-24 23:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Batmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it is new? My sister and her husband, {when they got married} lit a unity candle, but I don't remember them talking while the music went on. I'm Catholic and we usually don't talk in church, we're very quiet. So I really don't know if that is new or not. Sorry.
2006-06-25 16:37:56 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty Cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what has happened at pretty much every wedding I've ever been to. I think it's sweet. It's like a little break in the middle of the ceremony where they can take a breath and say to each other, "I love you and we've almost made it!!"
2006-06-24 23:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the unity candle when i was married. you pretty much just talk to one another until the song is finished. there is really nothing at all that went on then, except you wouldn't interrupt the vocalist. we were told that we should meditate on the act of becoming one.
2006-06-24 23:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by rita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is such an emotional time that it is a way for the couple to take a minute to calm themselves and so they just say a few words to each other about nothing of significance.
2006-06-25 00:02:20 · answer #9 · answered by fivestarmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds really annoying. It's just one more "look at me and how important I am today" ritual. Did I tell you I dislike weddings and the costs associated? I've already told my son to elope. I'll give him a downpayment for a house, but I will not contribute to a big wedding.
2006-06-24 23:58:26 · answer #10 · answered by MillwoodsGal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋